(I am an elementary education major. The elementary schools in my area require students to have a ‘blue card,’ which lasts through a student’s entire college career. I am in one of my major classes and my professor is explaining about blue cards.)

Professor: “It costs about $47, and that covers a background check, fingerprinting…”

Student: “So about the background check. What if you have a mark on your record? It’s nothing big: just stealing a car…”

(The professor had a look on her face that looked like a cross between trying not to laugh and trying to think of an acceptable answer!)

(My university’s wind ensemble is on an overnight recruitment tour. Pokémon X and Y was released recently; nearly everyone on the bus, including our director, who is sitting across the row from me, is playing the game at this point.)

Director: “Hey, do you recognize this name?” *shows his Nintendo 3DS’s screen*

Me: “Yeah, that’s [Classmate]. Going to battle him?”

Director: “I haven’t turned a challenge down yet today. I like to think it gives y’all a chance to get the best of me every now and again, so I don’t mind all the requests.”

(I nod and resume my own game. About five minutes later I hear the director complaining.)

Director: “Not fair, [Classmate]!” *looks in my direction with an extremely sad face* “He named his Snorlax after me!”

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(It’s the first day of class at my university. My evolutionary psychology professor has just finished going over the syllabus and explaining what he will teach. After the lecture ends, students go up to talk to the professor, usually to introduce themselves. I overhear one girl as I am packing up.)

Student: “Hi. I’m really interested in sexual fetishes and how they develop and I’m wondering if we’re going to cover that.”

Professor: “That’s not really within the scope of this class.”

(I notice that my roommate is wearing different glasses than usual, and that the new pair looks like mine.)

Me: “Hey, I like your glasses. They look like mine.”

Roommate: “Yeah, I usually have pretty ones but I lost them.”

Me: “…”

Girlfriend: *whispering in my ear* “Talk nerdy to me.”

Me: “I want you like Han Solo wants Leia’s buns.”

Girlfriend: “Nice double entendre.”