Through Ickiness And In Health

| East Lansing, MI, USA | Family & Kids

(I answer a lot of calls from parents concerned about the living arrangements in our dorm rooms.)

Parent: “So, what’s the deal with co-ed floors?”

Me: “Well, most of our floors are co-ed by wing, but a few are co-ed by suite, where one suite is all boys, and next door is all girls. Your student will never have to share a room or bathroom with the opposite gender.”

Parent: “Why would anyone want to do that?”

Me: “Well, some people find that living with the opposite gender is fun.”

Parent: “Yeah, but I mean, boys are icky!”

Me: *speechless*

Parent: “Don’t get me wrong. I’ve lived with my husband for 20 years, but…eww!”

No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

| Alberta, Canada | Family & Kids

(I am a receptionist at a local college and I am doing some follow-up calls for people who indicated they were interested in attending by filling out one of our forms.)

Me: “Hi, is [name] there?”

Woman: “Yes. May I ask who’s calling?”

Me: “Yes, this is [name] from [college] calling. I’m just following up with the person who filled out a form for us saying they were interested in one of our programs. Do you know if they still are?”

Woman: “That’s actually my son. He’s only 11 years old. Are you sure you have the right number?”

(I double check the number and name on the forms with her, and they are correct.)

Woman: *sighs* “Oh my God. Could he have done this online?”

Me: “Yes, that’s very possible.”

Woman: “Oh man, is he going to get it. Thanks for the call. We’re going to punish him for this!” *hangs up*

Model Behavior

| Poughkeepsie, NY, USA | School

(Several other high school students and I are on lunch break at a Model UN simulation. I am part of the Nigeria delegation. We are all about 15 years old.)

Woman: “So, are you a visiting diplomat from Nigeria?”

Me: “No, there’s a Model UN for high school students here today. I’m not really a diplomat.”

Woman: “Oh, cool. So you’re like some foreign student who gets sent here to do some simulation?”

Me: “No, I go to [local high school]. I’m not actually Nigerian.”

(Note that I am white and do not in any way remotely resemble someone one would expect to be from Nigeria.)

Woman: “Isn’t it a felony to impersonate an ambassador?”

Me: “No, it’s a model UN meeting. I’m not impersonating anybody. My tag clearly says ‘Model United Nations.'”

Woman: “Well, I’m reporting you to campus security!”

(She goes over to the campus security booth nearby and says something to the guard. The guard responds and she angrily walks away. As soon as she is gone, he bursts out laughing).