The Klass Of 2015

| England, UK | School

(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”

Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*

Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”

Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*

Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”

Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”

No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof, Part 2

, | California, USA | Family & Kids, School

(I work at a call center for a university. We call prospective students and tell them about our school. This call was meant for a young lady but was taken by her father.)

Me: “I’m calling from [university] to talk to [girl] about her interest in attending our university.”

Father: “University? Like school, papers, homework, and stuff?!”

Me: “Yes, that stuff usually occurs in a university.”

Father: “My daughter ain’t goin’ there!”

Me: “All right, have a nice day, sir.”

Related:
No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

Totally Trashed

| Lansing, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(This takes place in a food court during my college’s homecoming game. While I am sweeping the floor, a drunk girl is about to put her trash in a machine I use to clean the floor.)

Me: “Woah, wait! What are you doing?”

Drunk girl: “Isn’t this a trash can?”

Me: “No, this is a floor cleaner. The trash cans are over there.” *point behind her*

Drunk girl: “It looks just like a trash can!”

Me: *stares at wide, 4-wheeled, car-shaped floor cleaner* “Uh–”

Drunk girl: “What does this thing do?”

Me: “It cleans floors.”

Drunk girl: “Well, it looks just like a trash can!”

Me: “I’m sure it does.” *start to walk away*

Drunk girl: “IT DOES!”