Not A Shred Of Intelligence

, | Orange County, NY, USA | School, Top, Wild & Unruly

(It’s finals week and a student approaches our help desk.)

Student: “Your copy machine isn’t working. My papers wont come out.”

Me: “It’s probably jammed. I’ll have my coworker fix that for you.”

(My coworker follows the student to the copy machines. After a few minutes, the student runs by me in tears. My coworker comes back a few moments later.)

Me: “What happened?!”

Coworker: “She used the shredder instead of the copy machine.”

Your Degree Doesn’t Add Up To Much

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Math & Science, Money

Me: “Sir, a drink costs £1.85 and you’ve given me £1.70.”

Customer: “So, that’s not enough?”

Me: “It’s a good start…”

Customer: “But I study mathematics!”

Don’t Prune The Tree Of Knowledge

| Kaysville, UT, USA | Crazy Requests

(I work at a university extension where we offer broadcast courses. A gruff guy walks up to the front desk. His speech is a little hard to understand.)

Man: “So, can you guys teach me how to prune?”

Coworker: “Print?”

Man: “No, prune.”

Me: “Uh, sorry, this is a university.”

Man: “How can I get you guys to come prune my trees for free?”

Me: *speechless*