Getting An Icy Reception

, , , , , , | Working | March 28, 2018

(I am a huge coffee drinker. I only like hot coffee; I can’t stand the iced stuff. Even in triple-digit weather, I will drink hot coffee. I travel a great deal and always have trouble with the person taking my order giving me iced coffee, even AFTER telling them to make sure it’s hot. They tell me they thought I just misspoke, because there was no way someone would want a hot drink in the middle of summer. Usually they just remake it and apologize, I tell them it’s no problem and that it was an honest mistake, and I go about my merry way. I am at a hospital taking care of a relative. I go down to a fast food restaurant to get a much-needed coffee.)

Me: “Good afternoon. May I please have a hot mocha coffee, medium.”

Cashier: “Okay, that is one coffee… Are you sure you want hot?”

Me: “Yes. Please make sure it is hot. I do not like iced.”

Cashier: “Um, it’s over 100 degrees.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I want hot, not iced, please. I think the iced coffee is nasty.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

(I go and wait for my order. I wait about ten minutes. People come in to order after me and leave with their orders. I go up and talk to who I believe is the manager.)

Me: “Excuse me. I have been waiting for ten minutes for my coffee order.”

Manager: “Oh, here it is, ma’am, on the counter.” *gestures to an iced coffee*

Me: *sigh* “No, I ordered a hot coffee. I said it three times.”

Manager: “It’s over 100 degrees out . Nobody orders hot coffee on hot days like this.”

Me: “I do.”

Manager: “Tell you what. This drink is more expensive than what you ordered; you can have this one, instead, without paying more.” *he tries to walk off*

Me: “No. I do not want iced coffee; I think it is nasty. I ordered hot coffee and that is what I want, please.”

(At this point the original cashier comes over. She just shakes her head.)

Cashier: “I told you to make sure it was hot.”

Manager: “Who orders hot coffee when it’s 100 degrees out?”

Me: “I do. Now, please, either make my coffee the way I ordered it, or you can give me a refund. I really am done arguing.”

(He just stands there. The cashier goes around him and makes my coffee. I thank her, but as I start to leave, the manager tells me in a bit of a snotty tone I should take the iced coffee, too, because it would just go to waste.)

Me: “I. Do. Not. Want. Iced. Coffee. Seriously, what part of that do you not get?”

(As I am leaving, I hear him telling the cashier:)

Manager: “I don’t see why she wouldn’t just take the coffee we already made. It’s better than the hot stuff she is drinking.”

(Unfortunately for him, my receipt had a “How are we doing?” survey code on it.)

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Someone Else Needs That Coffee

, , , | Working | March 27, 2018

Me: “[Combo] with a medium black coffee, please.”

Cashier: “Would you like cream and sugar in that?”

Me: *long pause* “No.”

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Not The Flavor Of The Month

, , , , , | Working | December 30, 2017

(My mother’s boss visited the headquarters of a famous coffee brand in Switzerland for her work, and while there was given a flavour that she never tried before and really liked. She is also a regular at a [Coffee Brand] store in Paris and has a regular order there. This happens after she goes back to that store.)

Boss: “Hi, I’m here for my regular order, but would like to change it. I’d like to add some decaf and [flavour].”

Salesperson: “They haven’t had [flavour] since before I was born.”

Boss: “Can we please check on your computer?”

(The computer is checked by an older employee, who doesn’t find the flavour and insists it has been discontinued as well.)

Boss: “That’s strange, because I was talking with [Coffee Brand’s Vice-President] a few days ago, and he gave me [flavour].”

(Only after that did the older employee admit that [flavour] was actually a new flavour that hadn’t made it to the Paris store yet. They gave her free chocolates as an apology.)

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Some Caffeinated Banana Drama

, , , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(It is summer and I am sitting in a café. I love iced coffee. They don’t have it on the menu, but they do have coffee and ice cream. In Germany, an iced coffee is cold coffee with vanilla ice cream in it and whipped cream on top. So, I think I’ll just ask if they would make one for me. Worth a shot, right? The waitress shows up and I ask her.)

Waitress: “Yes, no problem. I sure could make one for you.”

Me: “Awesome, thank you!”

Waitress: “Which kind of ice cream would you like in it?”

Me: *confused* “Uh… Vanilla?””

Waitress: “I’m sorry, we only have banana and strawberry.”

Me: “Yeah… I think I’ll just have a coffee. Thanks.”

(I appreciated the thought, but seriously, iced banana coffee? Yuck.)

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Thievery Requires Classy Caffeination

, , , , , , , | Related | November 3, 2017

(I am making a cup of tea for myself when Mum yells through the house to make her a cup of coffee, as well. I see there are two options: [Extremely Expensive Brand] and [Extremely Cheap Brand]. Both are open, but the cheap brand is further forward and seems to be more used. In fact, the expensive brand is practically hidden away, as it’s in the tea section of the cupboard, on its side, and behind the tea itself. Since I know Mum adores her expensive brand, I ask, yelling across the house.)

Me: “[Cheap Brand] or [Expensive Brand]?”

Mum: “Oh, just use the [Cheap Brand], because—” *incoherent as the kettle is boiling at that moment*

(I walk through to her.)

Me: “What were you saying? I only heard about using [Cheap Brand]. Also, why do you have two brands open?”

Mum: “Oh, I don’t. [Cheap Brand] jar contains [Expensive Brand].”

Me: “Why?”

Mum: “Because [Expensive Brand] is too big to fit in the coffee cupboard, so I fill the [Cheap Brand] jar with it so I can get it in there.”

Me: “Oh.” *pauses, then adds jokingly* “You know, Mum, you’re supposed to put the cheap stuff in the expensive container, so you seem classier, not make yourself look poorer.”

Mum: “But if someone robbed the place, they’d go, ‘Oh, they drink [Cheap Brand]; they must not have any money, so there’s no point robbing them,’ and then we’d be fine.”

Me: “Why would a burglar be in our coffee cupboard?”

Mum: “Burglars need a cuppa every now and then, too, you know!”

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