Her Brain Is Made Of Cream

, , , , , | Right | November 14, 2018

(I work in the cafe that sits inside of a large bookstore. A woman approaches my register and purchases a small cup of medium roast coffee with some pumpkin spice syrup and room for cream. I prepare and hand her the drink and continue about my business. I manage to take a fifteen-minute break AND be back on the clock for another hour before she approaches me with a scowl.)

Customer: “What kind of coffee did you sell me? This is not [Brand] coffee. You sold me some cheap stuff. This is just undrinkable.”

Me: “That is a cup of [Brand] medium roast, ma’am. It’s the same type of coffee that they sell at every other [Brand] store.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. If it is, then you made this really wrong. Maybe it’s the pumpkin syrup.”

Me: “Have you had any pumpkin syrup at any other [Brand] store this year?”

Customer: “Yes, and this isn’t the same.”

(She opens her cup to reveal a surprisingly dark shade of coffee. I realize it looks exactly like it did when I first handed it to her.)

Me: “Did you try adding any cream? I left you room for it in the cup like you requested.”

Customer: “How can I add cream if the container is empty?!”

(I then realize that she tried to add cream, realized our carafe was empty, and decided not to notify or ask me about refilling it. I reach into our under-counter fridge and fill the container up and hand it to her.)

Me: “Add some of this and try it now.”

(She takes it angrily from the counter and adds a copious amount of cream. The drink is now more cream and pumpkin spice syrup than it is coffee. She takes a sip and nods.)

Customer: “See? Now that’s how [Brand] coffee normally tastes. Why couldn’t you have just made it like this the first time?!”

(She happily walked away, sipping on her coffee-flavored milkshake, while I stared at her in disbelief. When will I ever learn to make a decent cup of coffee? The world may never know.)

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Making A Mocha-ry Of A Mocha

, , , , , | Right | November 4, 2018

(I work in a deli, which also has a full espresso bar. I have a first-time customer come in with her husband and child. They each order a sandwich, and then she orders espresso drinks for each of them; hers is a triple-shot mocha, while his is a standard vanilla latte. A few minutes after I take their drinks out to them, this exchange happens.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Could you add more chocolate to this? All I can taste is the espresso.”

Me: *inwardly face-palming but still smiling on the outside* “Sure thing, thanks for letting me know!”

(I add more chocolate and milk to it, and then give it back to her.)

Me: “Try it and let me know what you think; I don’t want you to be unhappy with your mocha!”

Customer: “Much better, thanks.”

(Two things: first, how did she not know that adding an extra shot would give it more of a coffee flavor? And second, because I don’t want to end this on a negative note, at least her husband told me that mine was one of the best lattes he’s ever had in his life.)

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Should Have Personally Promoted The End Of The Promotion

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2018

(I work at a very large coffee chain that sells a nationally-adored product known as the timbit. For the month of August, our chain is featuring ten packs for a dollar with the purchase of a drink, which is an immensely popular promotion. The deal is over on August 31st, which is posted along with the advertisement, and most people have no problem accepting this. I am on drive-thru, on August 31st, less than an hour into my shift.)

Customer: “…two XL coffees and a ten pack.”

Me: “Sounds good, sir, but just so you know, the ten pack for a $1 promotion has ended today, so they will be the usual $2.30.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “The promotion has ended, sir.”

Customer: “Why has it ended?”

Me: “The promotion was for the month of August; it has now ended across all locations. Sorry about that!”

(The man leaves the speaker without another word and drives up. He is in the car with his wife. I ring up his coffees and apologize again. He won’t drop it.)

Customer: “Why do you wait until we get here to tell us that the promotion has ended? Nobody told us!”

Me: “Sir, the signs were up all month and did state that the deal would end on August 31st.”

Customer: *really angry now* “YOU CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GET HERE to tell us that the promotion has ended!”

(All I was thinking was, “What were we supposed to do? Call you at home and let you know? Sorry, I didn’t have your phone number.” What I actually did was apologize again, thank him, and wish him and his wife a nice day. The man gave me a sarcastic laugh then drove off. About five minutes later, he and his wife were in the store front. They asked for my manager and complained about the issue further. My manager kept telling them the same thing, but they would not accept the fact that nobody informed them about the promotion’s end. I still have no idea how he expected us to let him know, aside from it being posted on the sign all month. He lodged a formal complaint against my store. All we could do was laugh about it.)

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I Like Coffee, I Like Tea

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2018

(I’m the only one watching the coffee bar until the people actual scheduled to do it show up. I guess this could be split up into two stories, but they did only occur within ten minutes of each other. It’s a slow night, and [Customer #1] is the first customer I’ve seen at the coffee bar all evening.)

Customer #1: “May I get a green tea and a mint tea, please?”

Me: “You want two teas? What size?”

Customer #1: “I only want one cup. Two bags. What’s your smallest cup? ”

Me: *repeating the order because I’ve never had someone ask for two different teas like this* “So one 16 oz tea with an extra tea bag?”

Customer #1: “Yes.” *hands me her card*

Me: “Campus Meal Plan? ”

Customer #1: “Yeah, but why am I being charged extra?”

Me: “An extra tea bag is fifty cents. With the meal plan discount, your entire order is only 82 cents.”

Customer #1: “But all the other times they just ask me if I want a second bag.”

Me: “Then they need to start charging you for an extra tea bag. They’re not free.”

Customer #1: *rolls eyes* “Fine.”

(I run her card, and [Customer #1] takes her tea and leaves. Not five minutes later, my second customer shows up.)

Me: “What can I get for you? ”

Customer #2: “May I get an iced mocha? Go easy on the ice, please.”

(I run her card, and start making her drink. I fill the cup with about half the ice normally use for iced drinks.)

Me: *showing [Customer #2] the amount of ice in the cup* “You wanted light on the ice? Is this okay?:

Customer #2: “How light can you make it?”

Me: “You want less, then?”

Customer #2: “Put in as little ice as you can. No ice would be best.”

Me: “The espresso is brewed hot. If I don’t put any ice in it, it’s just going to be a hot cafe mocha, and not a cold drink”

Customer #2: “Yeah, actually could you make me a hot mocha instead? ”

(She seemed happy when I gave her the hot mocha.)

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Who’s The Rudest Of Them All?

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

I am sitting at a table in a coffee shop relaxing on a Sunday morning. It is very busy. A woman comes in and is talking to the person at the counter, and the barista evidently doesn’t hear her and asks her to repeat it. The woman becomes upset says, “No one else has a problem hearing me, EVER. EXCEPT the people who take my order at this coffee shop.” She then literally YELLS her order, “A… VENTI… MOCHA… LATTE… WITH… EXTRA… CHOCOLATE!!!” The barista ignores the customer’s angry attitude smiles, takes her money, and says, “Thanks.”

After a few minutes, the order is ready. Another employee is handing her the coffee and the customer yells, “I cannot stand coming here! You hire the RUDEST people in here.” The person handing her coffee happens to be the manager, who smiles sweetly and tells her, “That’s not true or you would work here.”

The customer looks daggers at the manager and I remember thinking, “This is NOT going to end well.”

Sure enough, as the customer turns around to walk the door, she tosses her cup on the floor and BOOM… all that chocolate, coffee, and milk ALL over the floor. She turns and looks at the staff and smiles and says in baby talk, “Oh, dear! I dwopped my coffee. Have fun cweaning it up.” She laughs like it is something hilarious to do and leaves.

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