The Boobishly Designed Cash Register

, , , , , , | Working | November 29, 2018

I used to work at a coffee stand on a college campus. It was run by the college, so our financial paperwork was occasionally audited by state auditors. We had to account for every time we opened the cash register because the register would log the time stamp on a report we had to file.

We weren’t allowed to open the drawer for anything but a shift start, a sale, and shift end. Unfortunately, due to the placement of the register and the stand itself, most of us baristas ended up having to lean in close to the register and its handy “drawer open” button. Also unfortunately, most of us had boobs that got in the way and hit the button. We were instructed to write down a brief note about why the drawer was opened.

And that’s the story about how some state auditor had to handle a file full of little notes that read, “Sorry, hit with boob.”

Ridiculous Regulars

, , , , , | Working | November 25, 2018

(I work at a donut and coffee place. There is one customer who always demands two turbo shots — espresso shots — but is only charged for one at $0.99 each. She has a very specific request on how to make her iced coffee correctly. She pulls up into our drive-thru.)

Customer: “Large iced caramel coffee with a large turbo shot.”

Me: “Okay, your total is $5.13.”

Customer: “Excuse me. That is not what I ordered.”

Me: “I apologize.”

(I recite her order back with same total.)

Customer: “That price isn’t right. I am a regular; where is the manager?”

Me: “I apologize, but the manager has left for the day.”

(By this time my coworker is telling me she is a regular and always gets said order. The customer pulls up, fuming. I open the drive-thru window and I am met with cursing and ranting about how I am doing my job incorrectly. I apologize and make her coffee.)

Customer: “That is not how I want it.”

Me: “This is the way we are taught to make an iced coffee.”

Customer: “I don’t get ice first; it’s the large turbo shot that is first. You aren’t giving me a large.”

Me: “Ma’am, again, I apologize, but I cannot put a hot beverage in a plastic cup, and I could be burned. You only wanted to pay for one of the turbo shots. I cannot give you a large without you paying for it, as I will lose my job.”

Customer: “Where the f*** is [Coworker]?”

Me: “She is currently with a customer at the front counter, if you would like to come in.”


Me: “Again, I apologize. Please do not yell at me. [Coworker] is busy, and I also have other customers waiting in line.”


Coworker: “She is our regular, and the manager gives her what she asks for.”

Me: “Why? She still has to pay for what she wants. We can actually lose our jobs for incorrectly or not charging someone.”

(Weeks go by and I avoid this regular like the plague.)

Manager: “Hey, so we had a complaint from one of our regular customers that you did not serve them what they wanted. She also has your work schedule.”

Me: “Excuse me. She has what now? She also should be charged for her large turbo shot like everyone else.”

Manager: “Well, [Coworker] says you wouldn’t give it to her. She also is the one taking photos of your schedule and giving them to the customer.”

Me: “That is illegal. She is not an employee or management and should not have that information. It is clearly a safety issue.”

(I actually got suspended for saying how wrong it was because I did not give this regular something she did not pay for. I was told I was wrong for feeling unsafe with some stranger I didn’t know having my schedule. This happened a year ago and I am still speaking with a lawyer about how this company did nothing for their employees and their safety.)

Her Brain Is Made Of Cream

, , , , , | Right | November 14, 2018

(I work in the cafe that sits inside of a large bookstore. A woman approaches my register and purchases a small cup of medium roast coffee with some pumpkin spice syrup and room for cream. I prepare and hand her the drink and continue about my business. I manage to take a fifteen-minute break AND be back on the clock for another hour before she approaches me with a scowl.)

Customer: “What kind of coffee did you sell me? This is not [Brand] coffee. You sold me some cheap stuff. This is just undrinkable.”

Me: “That is a cup of [Brand] medium roast, ma’am. It’s the same type of coffee that they sell at every other [Brand] store.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. If it is, then you made this really wrong. Maybe it’s the pumpkin syrup.”

Me: “Have you had any pumpkin syrup at any other [Brand] store this year?”

Customer: “Yes, and this isn’t the same.”

(She opens her cup to reveal a surprisingly dark shade of coffee. I realize it looks exactly like it did when I first handed it to her.)

Me: “Did you try adding any cream? I left you room for it in the cup like you requested.”

Customer: “How can I add cream if the container is empty?!”

(I then realize that she tried to add cream, realized our carafe was empty, and decided not to notify or ask me about refilling it. I reach into our under-counter fridge and fill the container up and hand it to her.)

Me: “Add some of this and try it now.”

(She takes it angrily from the counter and adds a copious amount of cream. The drink is now more cream and pumpkin spice syrup than it is coffee. She takes a sip and nods.)

Customer: “See? Now that’s how [Brand] coffee normally tastes. Why couldn’t you have just made it like this the first time?!”

(She happily walked away, sipping on her coffee-flavored milkshake, while I stared at her in disbelief. When will I ever learn to make a decent cup of coffee? The world may never know.)

Making A Mocha-ry Of A Mocha

, , , , , | Right | November 4, 2018

(I work in a deli, which also has a full espresso bar. I have a first-time customer come in with her husband and child. They each order a sandwich, and then she orders espresso drinks for each of them; hers is a triple-shot mocha, while his is a standard vanilla latte. A few minutes after I take their drinks out to them, this exchange happens.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Could you add more chocolate to this? All I can taste is the espresso.”

Me: *inwardly face-palming but still smiling on the outside* “Sure thing, thanks for letting me know!”

(I add more chocolate and milk to it, and then give it back to her.)

Me: “Try it and let me know what you think; I don’t want you to be unhappy with your mocha!”

Customer: “Much better, thanks.”

(Two things: first, how did she not know that adding an extra shot would give it more of a coffee flavor? And second, because I don’t want to end this on a negative note, at least her husband told me that mine was one of the best lattes he’s ever had in his life.)

Should Have Personally Promoted The End Of The Promotion

, , , , | Right | October 23, 2018

(I work at a very large coffee chain that sells a nationally-adored product known as the timbit. For the month of August, our chain is featuring ten packs for a dollar with the purchase of a drink, which is an immensely popular promotion. The deal is over on August 31st, which is posted along with the advertisement, and most people have no problem accepting this. I am on drive-thru, on August 31st, less than an hour into my shift.)

Customer: “…two XL coffees and a ten pack.”

Me: “Sounds good, sir, but just so you know, the ten pack for a $1 promotion has ended today, so they will be the usual $2.30.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “The promotion has ended, sir.”

Customer: “Why has it ended?”

Me: “The promotion was for the month of August; it has now ended across all locations. Sorry about that!”

(The man leaves the speaker without another word and drives up. He is in the car with his wife. I ring up his coffees and apologize again. He won’t drop it.)

Customer: “Why do you wait until we get here to tell us that the promotion has ended? Nobody told us!”

Me: “Sir, the signs were up all month and did state that the deal would end on August 31st.”

Customer: *really angry now* “YOU CANNOT WAIT UNTIL WE GET HERE to tell us that the promotion has ended!”

(All I was thinking was, “What were we supposed to do? Call you at home and let you know? Sorry, I didn’t have your phone number.” What I actually did was apologize again, thank him, and wish him and his wife a nice day. The man gave me a sarcastic laugh then drove off. About five minutes later, he and his wife were in the store front. They asked for my manager and complained about the issue further. My manager kept telling them the same thing, but they would not accept the fact that nobody informed them about the promotion’s end. I still have no idea how he expected us to let him know, aside from it being posted on the sign all month. He lodged a formal complaint against my store. All we could do was laugh about it.)

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