It Can Be Damaging To Wait So Long

, , , | Friendly Learning | June 16, 2017

(A vaguely familiar man comes up to my counter. I have no idea what his name is, but I assume he’s probably a former classmate. Not sure when exactly we were in school together, but then…)

Customer: “Hi! How are you?”

Me: “I’m good today! What can I get you tonight?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m fine! I just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you in school. I’m really very sorry about all that.”

Me: “Um… okay?”

Customer: “I was such a jerk. I can’t believe I made you cry that much in Miss [My Sixth Grade Teacher]’s class. I’m so sorry.”

Me: “Um, sure. That’s nice of you. I’m afraid I can’t remember your name?”

(Nor can I remember the specific incident he’s referring to. It happened a lot in sixth grade.)

Customer: “I just wanted to make things right. Are you okay now?”

Me: “Yeah, I mean, I’ve got two degrees and I’m working here to kill time before I ship out with the Peace Corps in a couple months.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s great! I was afraid I really damaged you!”

(I never did figure out who he was, but I got a kick out of the apology — fourteen years late!)

Sugared With Stupidity

, , , | Right | June 13, 2017

(I work at a coffee shop where we offer flavored coffee. The standard question is “would you like cream or sugar?”. This happens on drive-thru.)

Me: “Good afternoon, what can I get started for you?”

Customer: “Give me a hot caramel mocha.”

Me: “Cream and sugar?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Would you like cream and sugar?”

Customer: “Why are you asking me that? Are you stupid? It doesn’t come with either!”

Me: “Okay, so, no cream and no sugar.”

Customer: “What the f*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Anything else?”

Customer: “Learn how to make coffee, idiot.” *pulls to window* “Can you add cream and sugar?”

Me: “…”

Trying To Milk Their Services

, | Right | June 12, 2017

(A man approaches the bar with a carton of almond milk he’s bought from another shop.)

Customer: “Can you guys just steam this and put it in a take-out cup for me?”

Coworker: “Uh, no…”

Giving You A Latte Problems

, , | Right | June 9, 2017

(It is my first day of work. I worked for this particular coffee store once before, quit, and have come back. While it has been a long time since I worked there I still remember how to make drinks. An order is placed for an iced latte and I make it then hand it out to the customer.)

Me: “There you are! Have a great day!”

Customer: “That’s wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You made it wrong. There’s too much milk.”

Me: “Well, an iced latte is one shot of espresso and the rest is filled with milk and any flavoring.”

Customer: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “I can remake it for you if you’d like.”

Customer: “Obviously.”

(I begin remaking the drink with my shift leader watching me in case I did indeed mess up. The customer leans over the counter and begins watching me as well. I ask the customer if they want more espresso and they say no so I decide to add more ice so there’s less milk and the drink is still full.)

Customer: “That’s too much ice!”

Me: “Did you want less ice?”

Customer: “Yes and that’s still too much milk!”

Me: “Then the drink won’t be full, sir.”

Customer: “Ugh! Well maybe if you made it right!”

(I finally give up and have my shift leader makes it the exact same way I did the first time and hands it to the customer.)

Shift Leader: “How is that?”

Customer: “Finally! It’s made right!”

(The customer then left and stood in the parking lot, drinking their drink. It was beyond frustrating!)

Their Personality Needs Some Calibration

, , , | Right | June 9, 2017

(To ensure speed and accuracy of drink orders we add milk, sugar, and flavors to drinks by using three different machines. Each machine is calibrated to add a certain amount of product per size of drink. For example, and extra small shot of sugar is about 1 teaspoon, a small is 2 teaspoons, and so on. The same goes for the milk/creamer/skim milk machine; therefore, we can’t really do half shots of anything. A customer tells me that she wants a coffee with the smallest shot of skim milk. I make her the coffee and show it to her before putting the lid on.)

Me: “How’s that?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no, no.”

Me: “Would you like more or less milk?”

Customer: “More; that’s not nearly enough.”

(I add a little more milk and bring it back.)

Me: “Is that better?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no. now it’s too light.” *sigh* “But I guess it will do.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. All our machines are calibrated to a certain amount so it’s hard to get it just right sometimes, you know?”

Customer: “I understand. It must be so hard for you to actually make a coffee with something other than cream. It’s hard for you to understand; I get it. I have to keep it simple with you folks so you don’t get all confused.”

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