I work in an independent coffee shop that sources beans from all over the world. Our customers are used to being offered different blends.

Customer: “One Americano.”

Me: “Yes, sir. We’re offering Colombian or Ethiopian blends today. Would you like me to describe the flavors?”

Customer: “What? No! I want American coffee! American! None of that foreign s***!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have any coffee that comes from the United States. I think last month we had some Royal Kona, but—”

Customer: “I said Americanooooo! American!”

Me: “Sir, an Americano means a shot of coffee in water. It doesn’t mean the coffee itself is from the United States.”

Customer: “You have no idea what you’re talking about! Just get me my Americano!”

I decide to choose my battles and just charge him for a normal Americano. I pour some beans into our grinder as it’s running low and, unfortunately, the customer sees the label.

Customer: “That bag says Colombia! Are you stupid?! I said I wanted American!”

Suddenly, my manager comes rushing over.

Manager: “Sorry, sir, we’re out of ‘American’ right now. This coffee is from British Columbia in Canada. Will that do?”

Customer: *Sniffs* “Fine. I’ll accept it for now, but next time, you’d better have American!”

The customer takes their coffee and I turn to my manager.

Me: “Great, now he thinks he can come back here and get coffee made in the United States!”

Manager: “I’ll make sure we have some Kona in stock from now on. But when you’ve been in this business as long as I have, you learn not to lose sleep about the opinions of racists who are stupid enough to think that Canada is tropical enough to grow coffee…”

A woman comes in with a pretty simple order, but sure enough, I make it “incorrectly,” according to her. So, I make another one, very pleasant, as this happens fairly routinely, and hand that over with some personal apologies.

This is the 5:30 am shift, so it’s busy and there isn’t a lot of time for pandering, so this is an extra effort on my part.

She just sips it, looks at me, and says: 

Customer: “Well, it’s no wonder you’re the one in this equation wearing an apron.”

I’m working in a coffee shop. A customer is waiting in line to order, and she’s making comments about how much of a rush she’s in.

Customer: “Come on! Hurry up! I’m late for work!”

When it’s her turn to be served, she orders an obnoxiously complicated drink — nothing wrong with that, but odd considering she’s already “late for work” — and then proceeds to stand in the corner with her drink, doom-scrolling on her phone for a solid fifteen minutes before she rushes out.

The next day, she’s back, and we go through the same routine.

Customer: “I’m running late! Hurry up! I’m going to get in trouble with my boss because of you!”

Luckily, today, she’s being served by my manager, who has more leeway to speak their mind with the customers than the rest of us can.

Manager: “Ma’am, we are usually busy this time in the morning, so if you’re running late for work at this time, I would recommend coming in earlier to give yourself enough time to get to work.”

Customer: “You’re discriminating against me?!”

Manager: “How?”

Customer: “You’re not accommodating my ADHD!”

Manager: “Uh… no. I had no idea you had ADHD, but I am simply stating that it’s not productive to tell my staff to hurry up when they’re already going as fast as possible.”

Customer: “You should let me order faster because I have ADHD and I struggle with being on time. It’s not fair that you serve these other people first.”

Manager: “How do you know these other customers also don’t have ADHD?”

She doesn’t answer that one because — obviously — my manager has easily stumped her stupid logic.

She continues to come in over the next few weeks, and every time she’s in, she moans at us to hurry, ends up being distracted by her phone, and then rushes off after ten to fifteen minutes.

One day, she comes in around midday, which is unusual for her.

Customer: “You got me fired!”

Manager: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My boss told me I was late too many times and fired me! I told them it’s all your fault because you always take too long to get my coffee!”

Manager: “Ma’am, I am sorry you lost your job, but it’s not our fault, and also your timekeeping is not our responsibility.”

Customer: “You’re all just as bad as my boss! You’re discriminating against people with ADHD who struggle with time!”

Manager: “Ma’am, if you struggle with time but you have to have coffee from our location every morning, then come earlier.”

Customer: “It’s sad that we live in a society that doesn’t accommodate people with a real condition like me. We should be looking for solutions!”

Manager: “They’re called alarm clocks. Next customer!”

She was ignored by the manager for the rest of her protests until she finally left. She hasn’t been back since. I also have ADHD, so I can understand the struggle to be on time. I also use multiple alarm clocks to ensure my issues don’t become anyone else’s issues so… no sympathy there.

I am a shift supervisor at the world’s largest coffeehouse chain. This employer grants employees stock that turns into shares after an allotted period of employment.

One day, the barista at the cash register asks me to come over to help a customer reload their account balance so that they can earn membership benefits on their transaction. 

Me: “Hey there! How can I assist you today? I heard that you’re trying to reload money onto your account?”

Customer: “Yes! I have been trying to get your cashier to understand that I can’t get into the app since I don’t remember my password. Can’t you just put my phone number or email into your register to pull up my account?!”

Me: “I totally understand the frustration there. Unfortunately, there isn’t currently a way for us to pull up your account information on our registers. Do you happen to know if your account is tied to a physical [Coffee Shop] card? If you have that physical card today, we can reload money and use it now.”

Customer: “I don’t know where that thing is!”

Me: “That makes sense! When the majority of retailers allow you to make an account on an app, it sure does feel like physical cards go obsolete. Have you tried clicking the ‘forgot password’ link on the app?”

The customer then shoves their phone toward me.

Customer: “Can’t you do it? I shouldn’t have to do all of this just to give you business.” 

Wary of holding the irritated customer’s phone, and wanting to free up the register so the cafe line can start moving again, I gesture for my coworker to come back over. I comp the customer’s drink that’s already on the screen.

Me: “What do you think about taking a step over from the register with me so I can walk you through it? I see that we already had your order queued up, so I went ahead and pushed it through so it will be made for you while we are chatting.”

The customer huffs and reluctantly agrees. I walk into the cafe to guide them through the password recovery process. My coworker hand-delivers the customer’s drink as the next part occurs.

Me: “Now you need to open the email account associated with your [Coffee Shop] account to see if the password recovery link has been delivered. The only thing that you’ll need to do is click the recovery link and reset your password so that you can get into the app!”

Customer: “Wait, what?! I don’t know my email password! It’s on a sticky note at my house!”

The customer’s voice is getting louder by the sentence. Other customers have been watching, but now my coworkers are all starting to stare. I try to think of the best way to defuse the situation, but I’m out of options.

Me: “Aw, man. Well, if we can’t access the recovery link right now, I’m afraid I won’t be able to help reset your password. The good news is that you have a free drink in hand, and I can get the customer service center’s phone number written down for you so you can get this resolved before your next visit!”

Customer: “I cannot believe the steps I have had to take to order a coffee as a loyal customer. I am a shareholder of this company. Is this how you treat the people who fund your future?”

Me: “Trust me, as a shareholder myself, I wish this were easier and that we had the power to resolve your issue here. Would you still like that customer service center number?”

The customer appeared speechless and, after a few seconds of processing time, stormed out.

There was this married couple who came in every Sunday, and they had the most convoluted, long, and chaotic order. Even though I had the order memorized and would recite it for them, they’d still insist on saying it all themselves.

Customer: “One large coffee filled to the brim — make sure it’s to the brim — in a to-go cup. No room. Two XL cups of extra-hot water, double-cupped. One cappuccino — and make sure the foam is good — in a for-here cup. Two raisin bran muffins, lukewarm — microwave them for fifteen seconds, exactly.”

They’d make sure to choose the exact muffins in the pastry case they wanted, and then they’d check to feel how warm the muffins were and complain if they didn’t feel warm enough (even though we microwaved them at the same temp every time), and then the wife would run her finger through the cappuccino and ruin the foam art just to check if the consistency of the bubbles were up to her standards.

Anyone who’s ever made a perfect rosetta knows just how terrible that last part is.