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When Single Becomes Double

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Love/Romance, Popular

(I’m working as a barista in a coffee shop. A man comes up to my counter.)

Customer: “Can I get an Americano with a single shot of espresso?”

(I send his drink into the queue and my coworker makes the drink while I continue to take orders.)

Coworker: “I got a hot Americano, single!”

Teenage Girl: *waiting for her drink* “I’ll take him!”

(The man laughed and high fived the girl before taking his coffee and leaving. My coworker and I had a good laugh about the encounter.)

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The Quotable Works Of Jack And Hitler

| IA, USA | Books & Reading

(The coffee shop I work at offers 10 cents off if you guess what book the daily quote comes from. Today’s quote is lighthearted and optimistic. A young teenage girl comes in with her father.)

Girl: *excitedly pointing* “Hey, I know that!”

Me: “Do you? What is it?”

Girl:How I Did It by Jack the Ripper!”

Me: *taken aback* “Umm… no, that’s not it. Sorry, honey.”

Girl: *disappointed* “Oh… Mein Kampf?”

(She didn’t manage any more guesses before she burst out laughing. Her father hadn’t been in on the joke and was very relieved!)

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Third Drink, Second Day, First-Class A**-Hole

| Westlock, AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Popular

(A very popular and well-known coffee chain had finally opened up in town. I visited on its second day. Needless to say, the place is packed, and since all the employees are newly hired, they’re doing their darndest to keep up. The customer ahead of me decides his coffee isn’t to his liking for the third time, berates the clerk for a third time, and sends back his coffee a third time. While the clerk goes to remake his coffee yet again, he turns to me.)

Customer: “Is it me, or is this the worst [Coffee Chain] you’ve ever been to?”

Me: “Well, it is just their second day.”

Customer: “What, the clerk? Well, then, d***, they’ve got to start training them better.”

Me: “Not the clerk. This is the second day ever for the whole store.”

Customer: “Really? Wow, that would explain why I never saw it before today…”

(When the clerk came back with the coffee, the customer quickly apologized, paid, and hustled out the door.)

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Just Plain Stealing

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am second in line at a coffee shop counter.)

Customer: “Can I please get a plain coffee, medium?”

Barista: “Sure, that’ll be [low amount].”

(The customer moves over and I am next.)

Me: “Medium pumpkin spice latte.”

(The barista takes my $5 or so and I move over with the first customer. She is standing really close to the place where the barista drops off the drink, hovering over the counter. I stand farther back to allow people to move between us to get to the seating area. Several minutes go by and the girl ahead of me leaves with a drink. I wait longer, noticing people behind me are getting their drinks before me.)

Me: *to barista making coffees* “Hello, I was wondering if you’ve made a medium pumpkin spice latte yet? I’ve been waiting for almost ten minutes.”

Barista #2: “Yes, I put that out a while ago. Is this drink not yours?”

(He gestured to the counter where a plain coffee was sitting. Apparently that girl deliberately ordered a cheap drink and stole the more expensive one when it came up so she didn’t have to pay full price.)

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Tipped To Be The Worst Customer Of The Day

| Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I’ve only be on the floor for half-an-hour when a woman enters the line from the wrong way.)

Me: “Hi there! How are you today?”

Woman: “How much is a small coffee?”

Me: “It’s 1.94.”

Woman: “Anything cheaper?”

Me: “We can do 1.84?”

Woman: *throws a handful of change onto the counter* “You don’t mind if I borrow from here?” *she starts pulling money out of our tip jar*

Me: “Sorry, you can’t do that; I can’t allow you to, since it’s for all of the girls here!”

Woman: “It’s just fifty cents!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really can’t!” *this is considered stealing from the company; we normally don’t argue over five cents but more then ten and I tend to say no*

Woman: *as I lean to grab something* “You’re a real b****.”

Me: *ignoring her, despite being very hurt and insulted* “Would you still like the coffee?”

Woman: “Fine.” *pulls out a twenty dollar bill, still muttering*

Me: *fills her a short coffee cup*

(She proceeds to grab this cup and storm off, only to come back while I’m in the middle of my next transaction.)

Woman: “I need more coffee!” *it’s obvious she’s taken a few huge gulps, but I ignore it and fill it back up. She leaves again only to interrupt my next transaction* “I need honey!”

Me: “You’ll just find it on the back bar there!”

Woman: “There isn’t any!”

Me: *as I can see if from across the room* “Ma’am, it’s just in the metal cylinder on the side there!” *she finally properly leaves, the next woman just looks at me*

Woman #2: “Are you okay?”

Me: *smiling* “I’m all right, thank you.”

(The whole fiasco wouldn’t have been a big deal if she hadn’t pulled out a 20-dollar-bill after asking for money!)

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