Don’t Discount The Power Of A Discount

| UK | Romantic | June 5, 2014

(I work as a barista at a small coffee shop, and we have a lot of regulars. One of my female coworkers has a crush on a particular regular, and has been using her 20% employee discount whenever he comes in. On this occasion, this coworker has swapped a shift, and so isn’t in when the regular turns up.)

Regular: *to male coworker* “Hey, I think you’ve charged me wrong for my coffee. It’s usually always [price of coffee minus discount].”

Male Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir. Are you sure you get your coffee here usually? This has been our price for as long as I’ve worked here.”

Regular: “I’m sure. I always come in and get my coffee here, from the cute girl with the short brown hair, and the green eyes… Where is she today anyway?”

Male Coworker: “She swapped a shift with me. She’ll be in tomorrow closing, so I can get the manager to check she knows all the prices. I can only apologise, really—”

(At this point I decide to butt in, knowing the other coworker has been discounting his drinks for at least a month and a half.)

Me: “Actually, sir, it looks like it’s been rung up with an employee discount.”

Regular: “She’s been…” *suddenly, a large grin is plastered across his face* “You said she’s in tomorrow?”

Me: “She’s in from midday to six, sir. And, sir, her name is [Name].”

(Later I heard that the regular came in during her next shift and took her out to dinner.)

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Not Feeling Crushed For Long

| NY, USA | Working | May 28, 2014

(My coworker is known for not paying much attention to people, especially me, as I do talk a lot. We just got into a slight argument because I just said I don’t find her customer crush attractive. A regular customer comes in so I make her iced coffee before she orders it. However, my coworker still starts writing the drink down.)

Me: “[Coworker], I made her drink already.”

(My coworker keeps talks to the customer and keeps writing down the order.)

Me: “[Coworker], I made it! It’s at the bar! Hello! I made her drink.”

(I say this several times when she finally turns to hand me the cup.)

Me: “Seriously? I’ve been telling you I made it already!”

Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry. I heard you talking but all I heard was ‘blah blah blah [Customer Crush] isn’t attractive’ and I didn’t want to listen anymore.”

(She’s insane but I love her.)

Will Have To Wait For The Correct Answer

| IN, USA | Right | May 28, 2014

(I have just finished at the doctor’s office and talk my mom into taking me to get some coffee. We decide to go through the drive-thru as I need to get back to school and her to work. She is driving and I’m riding shotgun.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you today?”

Mom: “Two coffees, please.”

Cashier: “That’ll be [total]. Please pull around to the window.”

(As there is a long line, it takes about 10 minutes before we finally get to the window.)

Cashier: “Sorry about the wait.”

Mom: “Oh, I’m doing fine. How about you?”

(At this, the cashier gets a deer-in-the-headlights look as he does not know how to respond to this break in the conversational cycle. I, however, am cracking up.)

Mom: *looks at the cashier and then at me* “What’s so funny?”

Me: “Mom, he said sorry about the wait.”

Mom: “Oh! I thought he said ‘how are you.'” *turns to the cashier* “I’m sorry. You can laugh at me if you want…”

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Meatballs-Out Crazy Request

| CT, USA | Right | May 24, 2014

(The building out of which I have operated my shop for the last 2.5 years was originally built as an Italian restaurant. The restaurant went out of business over a decade ago, and my coffee shop is only the latest in a string of businesses that have occupied the property since then.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Good afternoon, [Coffee Shop].”

Caller: “Oh, um, hi… This is going to sound a little stupid…”

Me: “No, don’t worry. What can I help you with?”

Caller: “Well, my name is [Caller], and I just really loved [Original Restaurant]’s meatballs and sauce. I was wondering if you still had any, or if you knew how to get some?”

Me: *speechless*

Caller: “They were just so good! Do you know where they might have opened up again?”

Me: “No… Not at all.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s disappointing. What a shame. They were just so good. I—”

Me: “All right. Well, if that’s all, I—”

Caller: “But they were just so good!”

Sorry, Please Chai Again

| Olympia, WA, USA | Right | May 20, 2014

(I am working in a new coffee shop on campus that is very busy at certain times of the day. We start to notice a professor pulling a scam on us at our peak times. Every day she waits until we are really busy. She waits with her friend in line but does not order anything. Then, after ‘waiting’ a while, she demands to know where her drink is. Several students are pulling this scam as well. We put up a sign that says you have to present your receipt, and make sure we tell everyone that orders. All the scams stop, except one.)

Professor: *slamming her hand over and over on the pickup counter* “Where is my chai?! Where is my chai?!”

Coworker: “Do you have your receipt?”

Professor: *indignant* “No.”

Coworker: “Then you don’t have a chai.”

(She never tried to pull the scam on us again!)

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