The Son Will Come Up, Tomorrow

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(Note: I am currently two weeks into my new job, and am the newest employee on staff. I’m working the drive-thru.)

Me: “Welcome to [coffee shop]. I hope you’re having a great morning! Can I take your order?”

Customer: “I want a nonfat venti latte, seven pumps of vanilla, extra whipped cream, and you’d better make it fast, b****! I can’t believe you folks are so slow. This is a DRIVE-THRU! I shouldn’t even have to stop my car!”

Me: *mortified* “We’ll have that right up for you. Please pull around for your total.”

(When the car reaches the window, I see that the woman’s adult son, a regular customer, is driving the car.)

Customer’s Son: “I’m so sorry about my mother. She’s a cranky old b**** who doesn’t know how to shut her mouth. Thanks for the coffee. Here’s a tip for putting up with her bulls***!”

(He drops a ten-dollar bill into our tip jar before driving off. He now comes back as a regular customer each morning—without his mother. He always tips generously and has something nice to say to me!)

Goodnight Loon

| Middlebury, CT, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem

(I’m at work when a teenage customer sees a bracelet I’m wearing.)

Teenage Customer: *looking at my bracelet* “What’s that say?”

Me:Our hearts are heavy burdens we shouldn’t have to bear alone.”

Teenage Customer: “That’s nice. What’s it from?”

Me: “A song by Go Radio.”

Teenage Customer: “Can I have your bracelet?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Teenage Customer: “Your bracelet. Can I have it?”

Me: “Sorry, but this was given to me by the band when I saw them last October.”

Teenage Customer: “But I WANT it!”

Me: “Sorry, but if you want one like this, you either have to see them on tour or go on their webstore. I’m sure they’ll have them in either place.”

(Suddenly, the teenage customer freaks and GRABS at my wrist, slapping the counter when I pull it back.)

Teenage Customer: “I WANT THAT ONE! Why are YOU so special that they gave it to you?!”

Me: “Some little teenage brat mashed gum into my hair because I wouldn’t give her my spot at the barrier. All of the bands found out and Go Radio gave me this.”

Teenage Customer: *suddenly calm* “Oh… can I have it, then?”

Me: “What part of ‘no’ did you not understand?”

Teenage Customer: “I guess I should look up the webstore then…”

(She walks off, leaving my manager and the next customer confused.)

Next Customer: “What in the h*** was THAT about?!”

Good Money Drive-Thrus Out Bad

| Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(I am working drive-thru at a major coffee shop chain. Every once in awhile, customers will “pay it forward” by paying for the order of the vehicle behind them. This is a happy surprise for the next customer, and usually causes them to pay for the order of the next vehicle and so on. We’re currently in the middle of a “pay it forward” chain when the following customer pulls up at the window.)

Me: “Hello, your total is $3.49, but the car in front of you has already paid for it.”

Customer: “What the f***?!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s been going for 11 cars in a row. You can pay it forward if you’d like to keep the good deed going. No pressure, though.”

Customer: “F*** that! I’ll pay for my own coffee. Not paying for some clown behind me!”

Me: “Not a problem. Your order has been paid for. Have a good day.”

Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said I am paying for it! This is such a scam getting people to pay for others. You’re what’s wrong with the world today, you know!”

Me: “I’m sorry for trying to give you your order for free.”

Customer: “That’s right, and don’t you DARE use my money to pay for the person behind me, you punk!”

(The customer peels away. As for their money, I used it to keep the chain going, which lasted for another 14 vehicles.)