Colorful Comments Can Get You Burned

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Health & Body

(A customer in maybe her late 40s or early 50s walks up to the counter while she waits for her drink.)

Customer: “Oh honey, are you okay?”

Me: “Well, yeah…why?”

Customer: “Your skin… it’s so pale!”

Me: “Oh, I’m just naturally very fair-skinned. Whole family is.”

Customer: “But sweetie, you look awful.”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You look just AWFUL! So sickly.”

Me: “Well, thank you for your concern, but I feel just fine.”

Customer: “No, really, you look TERRIBLE!”

Me: “Gee, thanks.”

Customer: “What?! I’m just trying to be helpful! You should really see a doctor about that skin of yours, you just look horrible!” *takes her drink and leaves*

Me: “Uh… what just happened?”

(At this point, another younger, female customer speaks up.)

Another Customer: “Some giant piece of old burnt toast trying to reclaim her long lost youth.”

How About A Catpuccino Instead

| Iowa, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I am working at the drive up window at a locally owned coffee shop. Our blended drinks are called “coolers.” A customer in his mid-forties pulls up to the window.)

Customer: “Do you make your coolers with yogurt or cat?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Do you make your coolers with…” *makes a “meow” sound* “…cats or yogurt?”

Me: “Uh, we use milk or iced coffee depending on how many calories you want in the drink.”

Customer: “Oh. No thank you.”

Me: “Can I make you something else then?”

Customer: “NO! Maybe if you used cats.”

Me: “Uh…Okay, I’m—”

Customer: “MEOW!” *drives off quickly*

The Only Foaming Is At Her Mouth

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a campus coffee house, which is primarily student-run. At least 80% of our customers are other students or teachers who all know us. Occasionally, we get new customers who don’t understand that we’re not a major chain.)

Customer: “Can I have a latte with no foam?”

Me: “Certainly.”

(I ring the customer up, she gets her latte and leaves. Five minutes later, she comes storming back in, elbowing all the other customers out of her way and shoving the latte in my face.)

Customer: “DOES THIS LOOK LIKE NO FOAM TO YOU?”

(I look down, and all that’s on the top of the latte is two or three bubbles from the steamed milk. It’s definitely no foam.)

Me: “Um… well, honestly ma’am, I don’t see any foam at all, but I’d be happy to remake it for you—”

Customer: “WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT ‘NO FOAM?!'”

(At this point, my manager comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, there is a line, and my employee needs to get other people their orders. I’ll be happy to remake it, but this is our rush hour and it might take a few minutes.”

Customer: “YOU REMAKE IT, RIGHT NOW!”

(While my manager remakes the latte—he’s even moved it forward in the line—the customer grumbles and complains about me to everyone else who is waiting, three of whom happen to be my teachers. I hand one of my teachers their order, and she gives me a huge smile.)

My Teacher: “Thank you SO much. I know it’s really hard to juggle work with school. And, look at that! My drink looks perfect. I’ll see you in class later. ”

(My teacher even makes a point of taking a huge sip and exclaiming, “Delicious!” before giving the rude customer a cheeky grin and exiting the store.)

Customer: “I… well, I…. IT’S NOT HARD TO…”

Manager: “Ma’am, here’s your drink.”

Customer: “THERE’S STILL FOAM—”

Manager: “Ma’am, those are bubbles from pouring the milk into the espresso. That is not foam.”

(At this point, the other customers start giggling. Without a word, the customer yanks the drink from him and leaves. At least she never came back!)