The Manager Has To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

| West Yorkshire, England, UK | Right | March 12, 2014

(We are having a meeting about how many errors we are making on our tills. When we explain why these are happening, our boss seems to think we are all idiots and decides to spend a few hours watching what we do, starting off by showing us how to use the till properly.)

Customer #1: “Can I have a medium latte please?”

(My manager makes the drink and processes it on the till without a problem. I’m the first to go on the till afterwards.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a medium skinny latte.”

(I make the drink, process it on the till, and tell the customer the price which is also written on the menu board behind me.)

Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t have enough. Can you make me a plain latte?”

(I make the second drink for the customer and process this on the till, but it goes down as an error which causes my manager to glare at me. I tell the customer the new price.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, I don’t have enough for that either. Can I have a tea?”

(I make a third drink and re-process this on the till making another error. The customer finally pays and leaves.)

Manager: “Yeah. I’ll just tell head office this town is full of idiots…”

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Mugged Of Their Green Credentials

| NJ, USA | Working | March 11, 2014

(There’s a coffee shop in the library on my college campus. There are signs advertising a school mug as a way to be more green, by using fewer paper cups. My friend goes there one day with one of these mugs.)

Friend: “I’d like a [coffee].”

Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

Friend: *handing over payment card* “I have one of these [College] mugs. Do I give it to you to fill?”

Cashier: “Oh, no. You fill the mug yourself after we give you the drink in one of the paper cups.”

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Butter(beer) Them Up

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Right | February 21, 2014

(I run the anime club at my school, and we have had to relocate to the coffee shop a couple blocks away.)

Barista: “Hi! How can I help you?”

Friend: “Hi! I would like to order one large mocha!”

Barista: “Under what name?”

Friend: “Hmmm… how about Hermione?”

Barista: “Okay!”

(15 minutes later…)

Barista: “Hermione Granger! Ten points to Gryffindor!”

Friend: *speechless, then breaks out laughing* “That was the best thing ever!”

Barista: “I drew a little surprise on the back of the cup!”

(It was a drawing of Hermione’s cat!)

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A Latte Attitude

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | February 6, 2014

(It is the middle of summer with temperatures climbing into the triple digits.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get started for you today?”

Customer: “One large chai tea latte.”

Me: “Alright, no problem. Would you like that hot or iced today?”

(The customer stares at me.)

Customer: “Chai tea latte.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Iced or hot?”

Customer: “Latte!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The chai tea latte comes iced or hot, and—”

Customer: “Christ! Latte means hot! Do they teach you nothing?! Just give me my chai latte!”

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A Nice Hot Cup Of Karma

| UK | Right | January 31, 2014

(I work in a small sandwich shop owned by my parents. We are famous locally for giving great value for money. It is Saturday morning and I am on my own. A customer walks in.)

Me: “Good morning, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “How much is a tea?”

Me: “£1.”

Customer: “And how much do you get?”

(I am a little taken aback by this, but I show him a cup. It’s roughly the same dimensions as a standard mug.)

Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! Are you trying to f****** rip us all off!?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know what to say. We have the cheapest tea in the area that uses proper milk. I don’t make the prices!”

(At this point a regular walks in.)

Customer: “I don’t care! You don’t f****** know anything. Get me your godd*** manager. Do you know who I am?”

Regular: “Excuse me? You shouldn’t swear at her, or call her stupid. She’s been serving me for a year now and she’s never let me down once!”

Customer: *not looking at him or paying much attention* “Yeah, whatever, mate. Who the f*** do you think you are?”

Regular: “Your boss’ husband.”

(The customer turns, finally notices who the regular is, and runs out. I thank my regular by giving him a free plated breakfast. It later turns out that the customer was fired, ironically for poor customer service!)

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