I normally work from home, but after some Internet issues, I go down to a small local coffee shop while it gets fixed.

Me: “Hey, is it okay if I work here?”

I point to my laptop.

Server: “Oh, sure. As long as you’re buying something, it’s okay. Might ask you to move on when it gets busy.”

Me: “Oh, sure. It’s only for an hour. “

I put my stuff at a table around the corner and out of the way, and then I go to the counter and order. The woman helping me looks fed up and talks to me like she hates me. She uses no manners, tries to ring me up before I get to finish ordering, slams my coffee down, spilling it, etc. She barely says a word to me.

I sit down out of view, and after a while, I hear the woman talking to someone. I can just see her at the counter on her mobile.

Woman: “Nah, I’m working.” *Pause* “Yeah, at the coffee shop.” *Pause* “It’s all right, I guess. Boring. Might call in sick tomorrow.” *Pause* “Yeah, come over. No one’s here. I’ll give you my secret ‘discount.’” *Pause* “Bye, hun.”

She hangs up her phone before making herself a cup of coffee and sneaking a couple of cookies into her apron.

Woman: *Yelling into the back* “Hey, you gotta cover me! I need a break.”

Server: “Again?”

Woman: “Yeah, again. I’m going now.”

I finish my work and drop my empties back at the counter. The server from earlier is there and the woman is still not back.

Me: “You might want to do a stocktake of those cookies; your coworker stole a few. Oh, and she said she will be sick tomorrow.”

Server: *Sighs* “I don’t know why my dad doesn’t just fire her. Anyway, thank you for stopping by.”

I try to use that coffee shop instead of the chain ones more often. The server is always there smiling and cleaning. I don’t know what happened to the other woman, but I haven’t seen her again.

Coffee shops have opened up again after a health-related lockdown. I’m a new mum and surviving on very little sleep. I’m hormonal, emotional, and tired.

I excitedly order my usual drink, try to hold a decent conversation with the cashier whilst half asleep, and move to wait.

My name is called. I say thanks, grab my drink, and take a big gulp… forgetting I’m wearing a mask. Coffee goes all down my dress and into my bra, and I drop my drink in surprise.

I’m bright red and unsure whether to laugh or cry, and the cashier is looking at me in horror. She grabs lots of tissues and comes round the counter, helping me manoeuvre my pram out of the way and clearing up my mess.

I’m apologising over and over, but she shrugs it off and says it’s fine. I manage to blot away the excess and she makes a joke about my dress looking better in brown. It makes me giggle.

They remake my drink, give me a muffin, and even give me a voucher for a free drink next time.

I am so touched I tear up, to which the cashier says, “Don’t cry! You’ll ruin your mascara, too!”

Best coffee shop ever!

I work in a rather small coffee shop, but we have a pretty big menu. We have two menu boards: one for hot drinks and one for cold. I come back from break and a gentleman is looking at the hot drinks menu. Once he sees me take over for my coworker, he waves me over.

Customer: “At [Major Coffee Chain], they sell, like, a triple mocha something. Do you have anything close to that?”

I must have a confused look on my face, and before I can answer…

Customer: “You don’t even know what I’m talking about, do you? God. Just give me [Specialty Latte]. I guess that will have to do. NO ESPRESSO!”

Instead of ringing him up for a latte, I ring him up for a hot chocolate with an extra flavor, since it’s cheaper without the espresso. He pays and watches me make it, and when I hand it to him, he gives me a dirty look.

Customer: “Is this drink hot?”

Me: “Yes, sir, [Specialty] is a latte that we serve hot.”

Customer: “I wanted a frozen drink! That’s what they serve me at [Major Coffee Chain]. This is supposed to be frozen. Do you even know how to do your job?”

Me: “Sir, you asked for a latte. Lattes are served hot. I think you were thinking about a frappe.”

Customer: “Frappes have espresso in them! I DON’T WANT ESPRESSO. Make me a frozen [Specialty Latte] with NO ESPRESSO!”

Related:
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Himself

I’m a cash register repair guy. I’m sent to repair a cash register at a mini-mart in a popular beach town. They have a service contract and two cash registers, so I don’t expect any drama. The drive out there takes about an hour, but it’s gorgeous, so I’m in a good mood when I get on site.

One of their registers “just stopped working” in the middle of a shift. I do the normal troubleshooting and find that the lights are on but nobody’s home; the machine has power but isn’t accepting any user input. While I am troubleshooting, the two cashiers are trading off on the one working register and the owners — a husband and wife couple — are deflecting rude customers. I pop the cover off of the register.

Me: “Well, there’s your problem.” *To the owner* “Looks like someone spilled into the keyboard. Looks like coffee with cream and sugar.”

Cashier #1: “WHY DID YOU TELL HIM THAT?!”

My head snaps to my left and I see [Cashier #1] with her hand over her mouth and eyes wide as saucers. She then runs out of the shop, and [Cashier #2] and the owners burst into laughter.

It turns out that [Cashier #2] drinks his coffee black, like all truly good people. The owners drink tea, but I’m open to alternative lifestyles. Only [Cashier #1] drinks coffee with cream and sugar

Apparently, she had done the deed, but rather than fess up, she was hoping the problem would either go away on its own or not be traceable to her. My detective skills had convicted her of the crime.

Fortunately, the coffee never made it to the electronics, and I quickly replaced the keyboard matrix and returned the machine to service.

As I was leaving, I saw the owners escorting the most hangdog-looking cashier back into the store. She was still there the next time I serviced the site, so I suspect her only punishment was a healthy dose of embarrassment.

My coffee shop isn’t a Starbucks. We are in no way affiliated with Starbucks, nor do we have any signage that looks like Starbucks. A woman comes in, places a huge order, and tries to pay with her Starbucks app.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we can’t accept that.”

Of course, she gets mad at ME.

This happens more times than it really should have. Someone comes in and orders a cappuccino. But when they receive it, they stare at it with confusion and say, “This is hot. I wanted a Frappuccino.”