Shaken About The Stirring

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We have a condiment bar right next to the door that offers various sugars, half & half, and other coffee additives that the customers can add themselves.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’ll have a decaf latte with two sugars, please.”

Me: “Certainly. Our sugar is over by the door for your convenience.”

Customer: “Oh, of course.”

(I ring him up, and my coworker makes his latte and hands it to me. I place it on the counter for the customer, who comes up and proceeds to stare at me.)

Me: “Yes? Is there anything else, sir?”

Customer: “Oh! I’m so sorry.”

(He runs across the shop to the door, picks out two packets of sugar, and then runs back and hands them to me expectantly.)

Me: “You want me to add them?”

Customer: “Of course!”

Me: “…okay.”

(I add the packets myself while he watches. I replace the lid and hand it back, but he continues to stare at me.)

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “The sugar is just going to settle at the bottom if you don’t stir it!”

Me: “The stirrers are provided for you at the condiment bar, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, fine! I’ll just do it myself.”

(He hustles out, grabbing a stirrer and clumsily trying to fix his coffee as he walks. My coworker stares at me.)

Coworker: “Did he just make all the effort of running all over the shop, just to have you pour his sugar in?”

Good Honest Coffee

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

Regular: “Is [coworker] here?”

Me: “No, is there something I can do for you?”

Regular: “Oh, I was just here yesterday and I was chatting with [coworker], and didn’t pay for my espresso. I’d like to pay for it now.”

(I look at him in shock.)

Regular: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Me: “Because most people aren’t that honest.”

Regular: “Well, they should be; what’s so difficult about it?”

Me: “Nothing, but it’s unusual. Would you like your usual along with it?”

Regular: “Yes, please, but make sure you charge me for yesterday’s as well.”

(The girl I am working with and I are just awestruck. It puts us in a good mood for the rest of the day.)

She Likes Her Coffee Black Belt

| UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

(My friend and I head to a coffee shop. When we get there, there’s a customer screaming at the barista.)

Customer: “You useless little s***! How hard is it to make a d*** drink? I’m going to ring your manager; I’m going to complain to head office…”

(He continues making threats. The poor girl behind the counter is pretty much in tears. My friend’s patience runs out.)

My Friend: “Oi, mate! I don’t know what’s going on here, but screaming isn’t helping things.”

Customer: “Mind your own business, b****!

My Friend: “What did you call me?”

(The customer turns back around to my friend. The customer is a pretty big guy, six foot, and fairly wide. My friend is five four, female, and fairly unimposing. He squares up to her.)

Customer: “I called you a b**** who should learn to mind her own business. Now p*** off!”

(The customer shoves her.)

My Friend: “Don’t touch me.”

Customer: “Or what?”

(The customer goes to shove her again. My friend grabs his arm, turning with it, and throws him to the ground hard enough to wind him. She puts her foot over his crotch.)

My Friend: “Or you learn I have a black belt in judo. Apologize to the nice lady now.”

(The customer apologizes, but the police are still called. My friend and I get a free lunch!)