Who’s The Rudest Of Them All?

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

I am sitting at a table in a coffee shop relaxing on a Sunday morning. It is very busy. A woman comes in and is talking to the person at the counter, and the barista evidently doesn’t hear her and asks her to repeat it. The woman becomes upset says, “No one else has a problem hearing me, EVER. EXCEPT the people who take my order at this coffee shop.” She then literally YELLS her order, “A… VENTI… MOCHA… LATTE… WITH… EXTRA… CHOCOLATE!!!” The barista ignores the customer’s angry attitude smiles, takes her money, and says, “Thanks.”

After a few minutes, the order is ready. Another employee is handing her the coffee and the customer yells, “I cannot stand coming here! You hire the RUDEST people in here.” The person handing her coffee happens to be the manager, who smiles sweetly and tells her, “That’s not true or you would work here.”

The customer looks daggers at the manager and I remember thinking, “This is NOT going to end well.”

Sure enough, as the customer turns around to walk the door, she tosses her cup on the floor and BOOM… all that chocolate, coffee, and milk ALL over the floor. She turns and looks at the staff and smiles and says in baby talk, “Oh, dear! I dwopped my coffee. Have fun cweaning it up.” She laughs like it is something hilarious to do and leaves.

It’s Getting Laborious Day

, , , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

(I work at a coffee store inside a very busy mall. It’s Labor Day. This conversation happens about once every two minutes:)

Customer: “Wow. I can’t believe you have to work on Labor Day! I’m sorry!”

Me: “It’s okay! Maybe someday everyone will stop coming so all of us in the mall can have the day off, too!”

(Everyone I said that to looked so embarrassed as they looked around and realized we were absolutely slammed and it was their fault we were all there on a holiday.)

This Customer Is A Big No-No

, , | Right | October 10, 2018

(I work at a typically quiet coffee shop. A customer comes in with his laptop and starts playing videos. He doesn’t have headphones, so the volume is bothering other customers. I approach him.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m going to have to ask you to turn that off.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “But—”

(The customer raises a hand to silence me. He types something, and then plays a video of a deep voice repeatedly saying, “No.”)

Me: “Do I have to get the cops?”

Customer: *pause* “No.” *leaves*

Green Tea Makes Her See Red

, , , | Right | October 1, 2018

(I work at an extremely high-volume coffee shop where the line is almost always out the door. We have one regular customer who is extremely rude to both the cashiers and the baristas. We pretty much bend over backwards for her every time she comes in to avoid getting screamed at. For our regular customers we offer “loyalty cards,” and you get a stamp for each drink you purchase.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

Customer: “Green tea.”

Me: “Okay, you like the tea hot, and in a mug, right?”

Customer: *doesn’t answer me, stares at her phone*

Me: “Okay, that will be $3.21”

Customer: *hands me her loyalty card and cash*

(I proceeded to stamp her loyalty card and give her back her change. She looks down at her loyalty card with a disgusted look on her face. It is obvious something is wrong, but she doesn’t say anything.)

Me: “I’m sorry, is anything wrong, ma’am?”

Customer: “I know that I had more stamps than this on my card. You gave me back the wrong one.”

Me: *very confused* “Okay, let me check the counter to make sure I didn’t accidentally swap cards.”

(I check.)

Me: “I’m really sorry, but there aren’t any other loyalty cards on the counter, and I always just stamp the card and give it right back. If you’d like, I can give you an extra stamp or two, since you come in so often?”

(She doesn’t respond and proceeds to stare at me. This goes on for about five very long seconds, until…)

Customer: “MY GREEN TEA!”

(I got her her tea, and later she hunted down my manager and let him know just how terrible my customer service was, and that she was swindled out of a loyalty card. As she was leaving, she stormed up to the register, demanded to know my name, and then wrote a very nasty review where she mentioned me by name. She still comes in a few times a week. I usually duck to the back and let someone else take her order.)

Doubling Down On Calling It A Double Double

, , , , | Right | September 29, 2018

(Most of us in our small office just use our coffee maker, but it’s broken and will take a couple of days to replace, so we’re taking turns buying coffee on the way in for the group. Today is my turn, and this happens while I’m in line at a donuts-and-coffee chain.)

Customer: “Tall double-double.”

Cashier: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Tall double-double!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but I don’t unders—”

Customer: *loudly, but not quite shouting* “TALL. DOUBLE. DOUBLE.”

Cashier: “Sir, that doesn’t sound like anything we serve.”

(At this point I’m about to step in, having figured out what he means, when the guy slaps himself on the forehead.)

Customer: “Large, double sugar, double cream.”

Cashier: “Oh! I’m sorry; I should have figured that out!”

Customer: “Yeah, sorry, I’m just so used to stopping by [Other Chain] every morning, but the local one’s closed for renovations. Guess I’m a creature of habit.”

(He gets his coffee and leaves without any more fuss, and I step up and place my order.)

Me: “I wonder how long it will take him to realize there’s another [Chain] a block away?”

Cashier: “Shh! With any luck he’ll realize our coffee’s better and cheaper!”

(To be fair, it WAS cheaper, though “better” is highly subjective, depending on how strong you like it!)

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