Her Money Is Liquid

, , , , , , | Right | June 12, 2018

(I work in a coffee shop. It’s a slow night and I’m keeping an eye on the front counter. My friend has stopped by and we end up talking for a minute when a woman comes in and joins our conversation. At the end of our conversation, this scene comes into play:)

Woman: “Hey, can I ask you something?”

Me: “Sure! What can I do for you?”

(She leans in over the counter a little and glances around to see if anyone is watching.)

Woman: “I need five dollars. Do you have any on you?”

Me: “Um… No, I don’t have anything on me. What do you need five dollars for?”

Woman: *casually, as if there’s nothing weird about this scenario* “I just needed some money to buy a soda.”

Me: “Oh, you mean for here?”

(Our drinks are about a dollar plus tax, and I notice she only has a dollar with her. Right before I’m about to offer to pay for her drink, she cuts me off.)

Woman: “No, I wanted to get a pop from [Store down the block]. Are you sure you don’t have any money?” *she leans over and peers into the tip jar beside her* “I wouldn’t want you to take anything from the tip jar or the register, because [Manager who isn’t there] would probably rip you a new one.”

(At this point, I’m freaked out and annoyed at her persistence, even though I have told her four times that I don’t have money on me and I’m not giving her money from the tip jar or the register.)

Woman: “Well, are you sure you don’t have any in your coat pocket?”

Me: “I don’t. I’m broke.”

Woman: “Can you go look?”

(I hesitated, thinking she was going to steal from the tip jar while I’m away, but thankfully my friend had been standing behind the woman the entire time and kept an eye on her while I went back and talked to my coworker, who was also the acting manager for the evening. I explained what was going on, and she came back with me to try and get the woman to leave. As soon as the woman saw my coworker, she acted like nothing had happened and left. Apparently this woman is a known drinker and frequently comes around trying to bum money off of people. She’s even shown up at my coworker’s house!)

Making A Mocha-ry Of The Prices

, , , | Right | June 8, 2018

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “Do you sell hot chocolate?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do.”

Customer: “How much is a small?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take a small white mocha.”

Me: “…”

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 6

, , , , | | Working | May 23, 2018

(My husband and I stop at a drive-thru coffee shop for drinks. I don’t drink coffee, but I love this shop’s chai lattes, so I ask for one.)

Husband: “Can we have a medium, decaf, chai vanilla latte and a small peppermint mocha?”

Worker: “Sure! That will be [price] at the window!”

(We pull forward, pay, get our drinks, and pull off. I take my first sip and taste nothing but coffee.)

Me: “This has coffee in it.”

Husband: “What? I’m sorry. Why would they put coffee in it?”

Me: “Maybe because you said, ‘latte’? I mean, that’s what it’s called, but maybe that confused her?”

(We drive back through and pull up to the window.)

Worker: *looking confused* “Can I help you?”

Me: “There was coffee in my chai.”

Worker: “Yeah. You asked for a decaf chai. Decaf means coffee, so I thought you wanted decaf espresso in it.”

Me: “No… I hate coffee. Chai is black tea which has caffeine, so I just wanted that decaf.”

Worker: “So… that’s just regular chai.”

Me: “Yes, but without caffeine?”

Worker: *still seeming confused* “So… just a regular chai?”

Me: *giving up* “Please just give me a vanilla chai, no coffee.”

(To her credit, she did upgrade me to a large, and there was no coffee in my second order. But how do you work at a coffee shop and not know that tea has caffeine?)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 5
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 4
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 3

His Mind Is Already On The Island

, , , , , | | Working | May 17, 2018

(I am a shift manager and a new employee is starting today. He starts the day by wandering around the store, telling no one that he is here for training, and as such starts his shift 20 minutes late. I begin his orientation, with the basics of the store.)

Me: “So, when you brew a batch of coffee, use either one bag or two depending on—”

New Starter: “Yeah, so, do I get discounts?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, employee discounts. Well, get to them later.”

New Starter: “Oh, okay, cool, because I’m saving for the vacation to Hawaii with my friends.”

(He proceeded to tell me his itinerary, preventing me from both training him and from doing my normal job. Stellar first impression.)

His Training Is Not In Mint Condition

, , , | Working | May 5, 2018

It’s about three weeks before Christmas, and I’ve just finished a late shift at work. It’s almost midnight by the time my boyfriend and I stop by a coffee shop to get a hot drink to warm us up for the rest of the walk home.

I’m well aware that, due to competition from another branch only a few blocks away, this particular location is always understaffed at night and the employees never seem to be fully trained. However, this location is directly on our route home, so we decide to go for it.

The chain has just started serving a holiday special peppermint hot chocolate; it’s a premixed powder packet which is loaded into the machine the same way that the regular hot chocolate is, and is usually topped with whipped cream.

The poor kid at the register is completely alone in the store and obviously has only the barest grasp of what he’s doing. I admit that I’m not actually paying attention to what he’s doing, because I feel bad for him and don’t want to stress him out. I also don’t actually look what he’s charging me for, because it’s late at night and the total sounds about right. He hands me the standard coffee cup with a lid and one of those cardboard rings designed to keep you from burning your fingers. I give it a cursory taste test, and we head back out.

Halfway across the parking lot, I take another sip and realize that, while it does taste like hot chocolate and peppermint, it tastes kind of off. I take another few sips to validate the taste, and have my boyfriend taste it; he agrees that there’s something funny to it.

I pry the lid off the cup, and discover that the kid, obviously having no idea how to make the brand new limited-time promotional item, has given me a cup of regular hot chocolate and put a peppermint tea bag in it. I didn’t notice initially because he tucked the string from the bag into the cardboard sleeve on the cup.

I’m actually highly impressed by the kid’s problem-solving skills, and I actually find that I enjoy the drink this way better than I do the overly-sweet promotional item. Unfortunately, I’ve never seen him there again. I hope he got a job that actually trained him before leaving him alone.

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