It’s Been A Sizeable Day

| USA | Working | February 22, 2017

Me: “…and can I also get a banana milkshake.”

Employee: “All right, what size?”

Me: “What sizes do you have?”

Employee: “It comes in one size.”

Me: “…”

Employee: “Sorry, it’s been a long day.”

(Same, man. Same.)

Small Talk Baulk

| England, UK | Right | February 22, 2017

Me: “Good morning. How can I help y—“

Customer: “Cappuccino. Medium.”

Me: “Would you like that to stay or—“

Customer: *interrupting again* “Go.”

(I finish the transaction politely but without trying to make small talk.)

Customer: “Not very chatty are you?”

Getting Ahead Of Calling Ahead

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Working | February 21, 2017

(I was passing by a coffee shop that had a sign saying “Today Only: All Beans Half Price!” That sounded good to me, so I decided to buy a couple of pounds.)

Me: “Could I please have a pound of [Bean #1] and a pound of [Bean #2], and can you grind them for me?”

Clerk: “That’s going to take about ten minutes.”

Me: *thinking that she was being considerate about my schedule* “That’s fine; I’m not in a hurry.”

Clerk: “It would have been much faster if you’d called ahead.”

Me: “Well, I didn’t know that I was going to be passing by this shop, and I didn’t know about your sale, so I wouldn’t have been able to call ahead.”

Clerk: “Next time, please call ahead. It would be a lot easier for us, especially when we’re busy.”

(There was exactly one other customer in the shop at this time, and he had already been served.)

Me: “Okay…”

(Ten minutes go by, and my beans are ready.)

Clerk: “Here you go. Remember, next time, call ahead!”

(There wasn’t a next time.)

Please, No S’More!

| Plant City, FL, USA | Working | February 19, 2017

(My boyfriend and I are regulars at our local chain coffee shop so they always make our drinks without question or issue, and the baristas and I get along well; they know I’m not a problem customer and I only care about my drinks tasting good and being caffeinated, rather than tiny details. My boyfriend and I are in a neighboring town and stop at their chain coffee shop of the same name. It should be noted that I have a mild dairy intolerance. I can handle a little in various forms, but drinking a latte made from dairy milk will make me sick, especially with added whipped cream.)

Me: “Hi, can I get the S’mores drink, but in a hot latte form, and with coconut milk, please?”

Employee #1: *scowls* “Uh… I don’t think we can do that.”

(Another employee overhears and meanders over to the register. They talk to each other while never taking their eyes off the register screen, but clearly aim their words at me, though they never make eye contact with me.)

Employee #1: “She wants a S’mores in a hot latte.”

Employee #2: “We can’t do that.”

Me: *not wanting to be THAT customer, but not having a choice at this point* “Sorry, but they do it for me at my regular [Coffee Shop] without a problem.”

Employee #2: *sighs dramatically* “Uh… fine, okay…” *points to register screen while Employee #1 rings it in* “I guess just put in vanilla latte, and then marshmallow cream… okay… and now chocolate.”

(They finally get it rung through all the while their attitudes and facial expressions make it clear that I’m a huge inconvenience for this order.)

Employee #2: *still staring at screen instead of looking at me* “We do layers in the S’mores drink so the layers won’t be there if we make it hot. Just so you know.”

Me: “That’s fine. All the flavors are going to the same place anyway.”

(I laugh to attempt to break the tension.)

Employee #2: *sighs dramatically again and walks away*

Employee #1: *scowling* “That’ll be [total].”

Me: *pulls out my phone to scan my membership barcode from the payment app*

Employee #1: *harshly* “Hold on, I need a NAME first.”

Me: *taken aback* “Oh, um, [My Name].”

Employee #1: “NOW you can scan.”

(I scan and then my boyfriend decides he wants a sandwich. He doesn’t eat pork and, again, our regular shop obliges this with ease.)

Boyfriend: “Can I get a bacon, egg, and gouda sandwich without the bacon?”

Employee #1: *suddenly smiling and way more polite* “Sure! Okay, your total is [total].”

(I scan the barcode again for payment. I take a step to the side to wait for our order and I hear my name called. The barista is holding my empty cup, so I walk up to him.)

Barista: “Sorry, what was it you wanted, exactly? They put ‘Ask Me’ on the cup along with all this stuff.”

Me: “Oh, a S’mores in the form of a hot latte, please.”

Barista: *smiling nicely* “Okay, cool. Thanks! That’s easy to make.”

(In the meantime, my boyfriend has gotten his sandwich. He opens it to make sure they’ve taken off the bacon…which, of course, they haven’t. He doesn’t feel like dealing with the rude people at the counter again, so he just picks it off and throws it away. At this point, we’re both pretty irritated at the first two employees for their bad attitudes and for getting my boyfriend’s simple order wrong. We’re talking about it amongst ourselves while waiting for my drink. The barista overhears and comments about how he always makes himself lattes out of the frappuccino drinks flavors, and that it’s not hard to do. He even said that the flavors blend together and it tastes the same anyway, so it shouldn’t matter. I tell him I’m not upset with him and it’s not his fault. He hands me my drink, I thank him, and we leave.)

Me: *in the parking lot, inspecting the label on the side* “Wait… this doesn’t say coconut milk on it. I can handle a little whipped cream, but if I drink a whole cup of milk, we’re going to have issues.”

(My boyfriend nods in agreement and we go back in. I approach the nice barista who made my drink.)

Me: “Excuse me, but did you make this with coconut milk?”

Barista: “Did you want coconut milk?”

Me: *sighs* “Yeah, I told the cashier that, but if she didn’t put in on the cup I couldn’t have expected you to know. It’s not your fault.”

Barista: “Sorry about that. You can keep the other one. Maybe for him?” *gestures to my boyfriend*

Me: “Oh, okay. Thank you. Sorry about this.”

Barista: “Don’t worry about it. It’s our job to make sure you get out of here with the right drink.”

Me: “Thank you. I’ll be leaving here today with a smile on my face completely because of you. I’ve never encountered such attitude at [Coffee Shop] as we had to deal with, with those two.” *gesturing to the register area*

Barista: “I’m sorry about that.”

Me: “Thanks, but again, it’s not your fault. I appreciate you being so helpful and nice.”

Barista: *finishes making my drink* “There you go. Have a great day, now.”

Me: “Thanks. Same to you!”

(He had remade my drink in a size bigger than what I’d ordered. My boyfriend and I talked for a while on the car ride about how stupid that situation had been, and if it hadn’t been for the barista who actually made my drink(s) we would have left in pretty bad moods. We wanted so badly to tip the nice barista, but we knew that they pooled tips and we really didn’t want to tip the rude employees. Definitely will be thinking twice about going back to that particular coffee shop, for sure!)

He’s A Cracked Egg

| NJ, USA | Right | February 17, 2017

(Practically closing time and a spacey customer walks in and eventually stumbles to the register.)

Customer: “Can you fry some eggs up for me?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “I’d really like some eggs.”

Me: “I can’t help you.”

Customer: “Where can I get eggs?”

Me: “I don’t know, but not here.”

Customer: “I really want eggs.”

Me: “I can’t make you eggs.”

Customer: “Really? I thought you said you had eggs.”

Me: “No. I said we don’t have eggs.”

(A long and unnecessary amount of time later.)

Customer: “Oh.” *leaves*

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