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Double Double Trouble

| Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work drive-thru at a popular coffee shop, and for reference, a “double double” is two cream and two sugar. A regular customer comes through the drive-thru and orders her usual, a large double double. When she pulls up to the window the following exchange happens.)

Me: “Hello!”

Regular: “Good morning!”

(I take her money and get ready to hand her the coffee.)

Regular: “Why can’t you order a double double without sugar?”

Me: “Oh, well, double double means double cream and double sugar.”

Regular: “I know. I wish I could get it without the sugar, though. I don’t really like the sugar.”

Me: “Oh! Well, you can order a coffee without sugar in it. Did you want me to do that for you?”

Regular: “But then it wouldn’t be a double double, though.”

Me: *confused* “Err, that’s right…”

(I gave her the coffee and wished her a good day. Somehow I knew there was no winning this one.)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 26

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work at a frozen custard and coffee shop. To draw in customers we also offer free wifi.)

Customer: “I’ll get a mocha custard with extra chocolate. And what is a ‘wehfeh?'”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, um, a weefee?” *she points to the sign*

Me: “Oh! Wifi!”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, yes, sure. This says I can get it free?”

Me: “Yep.”

(There’s a long pause while the woman stares at me.)

Customer: *getting a little impatient* “What is it? Okay, is it a smoothie or custard or drink?”

(I’m a little at a loss for words so it takes me a minute to compose my answer.)

Me: “Oh, it’s, you know, it’s Internet. Like wireless Internet?” *the woman starts frowning at me* “For using your laptop or phone in the store.”

Customer: “I want my custard to go.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23

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This Job Can’t Be Blushed

| NY, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I work in a popular coffee shop and am attempting to put together the pump for our mocha sauce. I am grasping the longish metal pipe and am trying to get the other piece to twist in. While struggling with this, one of our regulars comes up to the counter.)

Regular: “Don’t have much experience handling something that big, do you?”

Me: *turns away from him in embarrassment*

Regular: “Oh, gosh, look how red you are.”

Me: *mumbling* “Haha, it’s just my blush.”

(He goes to sit down at a table once I’ve given him his drink. A while later, while on my break, I’m sitting down at the bar eating. On his way out he makes this final remark.)

Regular: “Looks like your blush has worn off.”

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This One Definitely Needs Decaf, Part 2

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

Customer: “Now I’m going to ASSUME you follow the corporate policy and you have to do a pour over for decaf?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I’m happy to do one for you if you’ve got a minute!”

Customer: “I don’t HAVE a minute.”

Me: “Okay… well, I could do a decaf Americano for the same price instead!”

Customer: “Well, I COULD throw you out the window and see if you can fly but that wouldn’t be what you WANT, now would it?!”

Related:
This One Definitely Needs Decaf

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Reached Your Tea Total, Part 4

| WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(My manager takes an order at the front counter, then comes over to tell me the details.)

Manager: “You see that tea order? They want a couple extra teabags, and a large take away cup.”

(I go to rummage through the cupboard to find the boxes of tea for the rarely-ordered green tea they ask for.)

Customer: *clears throat*

Me: “I’ll just be a moment, sorry!”

Customer: “Tea!”

Me: “Oh, you’re waiting on the tea? Did you want two or three tea bags?”

Customer: “Three.”

Me: “Great, I’m just working on that now.”

(I get the teabags, and the cup, and as I’m moving towards the hot water:)

Customer: “White!”

Me: “No problem.”

(Then, as I am putting the water in it:)

Customer: “White. White!”

Me: “Yes, I’ll put milk in it; don’t worry.”

Customer: “Five sugars. White!”

Me: “You want five sugars?”

Customer: “Yes. And white!”

Me: “All right, just a moment.”

(Before I add the milk, I go to put the sugars in so that they can dissolve in the water properly. After three spoonful’s of sugar, she practically shouts:)

Customer: “That’s enough.”

(I go to stir the sugar in.)

Customer: “White. White!”

Me: “Yes, just a moment.”

(I pour the milk in, stop when she says, and hand it to her. She walks off without a word, and goes and chats perfectly normally to the manager.)

Related:
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 3
Reached Your Tea Total, Part 2
Reached Your Tea Total

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