Red It And Weep

| NC, USA | Working | August 13, 2015

(My friend and I stop for some drinks on the way back from the library. She places her order.)

Barista: “And your name, for your drink?”

Friend: “Bren.”

(I look at her, as I’ve never heard her use this particular variant of her name.)

Friend: “It’s the name I’ve been giving out for stuff like this. It’s just easier.”

(We go to wait, and our drinks are made pretty quick.)

Friend: “What the- look at what they put for my name!”

(It reads “RED” but it’s the same drink she ordered and was done right after mine.)

Me: “Don’t worry; I’ve had people screw up my name much worse.”

Not My Cup Of Tea

| England, UK | Working | August 12, 2015

Me: “Hi, can I get a small latte and a small cappuccino please to take away.”

Barista: “Yeah, sure.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, do you have small cups?”

Barista: “…Well, yeah.”

(He makes the coffee, but uses the medium cup.)

Me: “Sorry to be a pain but can you put it in a small cup please?”

Barista: “What? No, just take it.”

Me: “Look I don’t want to be a pain but, medium cups don’t fit in the cup holders in the car.”

Barista: “Well, I made it in a medium cup so…”

Me: “So… can I have a small cup, please? I don’t want to spill my hot coffee all over my lap.”

(Silence falls over the coffee shop; the customers are staring at the barista, who is just giving me a blank look of confusion.)

Me: “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

(I manage to reach over the counter, just managing to reach a paper cup. I slowly pour the coffee into the smaller cup.)

Me: “I don’t think that was too much to ask, was it?!”

Barista: “Idiot.”

Next Customer: *loudly* “Can someone else serve me, please?”

(I saw that same “barista” cleaning tables but never behind the counter again.)

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Take A Coffee, And Make It Better

| OK, USA | Right | August 11, 2015

(I’m a cashier for a well known coffee chain, and whenever it’s slow I like to make everyone’s cups special. A man and a woman have just entered the nearly empty cafe.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. What can I get you?”

Man: *rattles off three drink orders and two names*

Me: “All right, and the name for that last latte?”

Man: “Oh, it’s for my mom. Her name is Jude.”

Me: *adds “hey” and some music notes around the name in reference to The Beatles song “Hey Jude”*

Man: “Oh, man, she’s going to love that!”

Me: “Oh, well in that case.”

Me: *picks up the cup for the woman, Sarah, and adds “smiles” and some more music notes as a reference to the Panic! At The Disco song “Sarah Smiles”*

Woman: “Oh, my gosh; I love that song!”

Me: “I really don’t want to leave you out, sir, but I can’t think of any songs with the name “Greg” in them, sooo…”

Me: *adds brackets around the name and even more notes*

Me: “There you go. You’re an instrumental track, like from a movie!”

Man: “A cool movie?”

Me: “The coolest.”

(They left me a $5 tip for a $7 order and took pictures of the cups. It’s my favorite customer story for this job yet.)

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A Calculated Attack

| USA | Right | August 10, 2015

(I am working in a coffee shop, getting ready to leave. There is a girl there who is usually very quiet. She is a year older than me and it looks like she had been studying math. She is carrying a large graphing calculator on top of her binder and she is walking out the same time I am.)

Girl: *drops her graphing calculator and it hits me* “You have just been attacked by the power of math.”

This Is Just The Tip Of The Ice

, | Okemos, MI, USA | Right | August 5, 2015

(I work in a small coffee kiosk located in a shopping mall. A customer comes up, and the transaction is fairly normal right up until the end.)

Customer: “This coffee is so hot! Could you please get me some ice to cool it down?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I proceed to grab a paper cup and put a reasonable amount of ice in it, which I then hand to the customer.)

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t enough! Can I have more?”

Me: “Sure, sorry about that!” *I do exactly as she asks*

Customer: “Now this is just too much ice. Can you pour a little out?”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

(I’m a little annoyed, but do my best to be as polite as possible as I pour a little bit of ice out.)

Customer: “That’s still too much ice! I really wish I could just do this myself…”

(The customer then proceeds to pour about half of the ice into her hand, and then holds out her hand full of ice, clearly expecting me to do the same.)

Me: “Uh….”

(I grab a nearby cup for her to pour it in. She ignores this, dumps the ice on the credit card reader and containers of sugar packets, and walks away happily as can be with her coffee filled with what she apparently considered to be the perfect amount of ice.)

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