Food For Thoughtless

| Derby, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(The store I work in is now a very popular coffee brand store. We’ve been open for two weeks. The building was previously a food and dining store, but the building had been empty eight months prior to our store opening.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how are you today?”

Customer: “Well, I’m not very d*** good now!”

Me: “Oh, I’m ever so sorry to hear that! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I came here for some breakfast, but you’re not [old store] any more!”

Me: “Well, we do have breakfast options. We can heat them for yo—”

Customer: “NO GOOD! I WANTED HOT FOOD!”

Me: “We can do you hot food; we offer porridge, and of course our lovely hot dr—”

Customer: “IT’S S***! IT’S GARBAGE, THAT’S WHAT IT IS! I WON’T PUT UP WITH IT!”

(While he’s steadily getting angrier, another customer has entered the store behind him.)

Me: “Um, there’s not really much else I can do I’m afraid, sir. Was there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ll have a… NO! I’ll go somewhere else. THIS IS TOTAL S***! What do you have to say for yourself?!”

Me: “Er… I’m sorry but [old store] hasn’t been open on this site for almost a year, so there really is nothing I can do about it. If that is everything, I will just serve the next customer who has been waiting patiently. Thank you, have a good d—”

Customer: “I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU! I WA—”

Next Customer: “Well, she’s finished with YOU! You’re obviously bloody stupid; EVERYONE knows that [old store] hasn’t been here for ages! It’s too d*** early for you to be yelling at this poor girl! Now, sod off and let me get my coffee!”

(The first customer all but runs from the store.)

Me: “Wow, thank you for that! I’m so sorry you had to step in though!”

Next Customer: “No worries, my darling! Hey, I recognise you; didn’t you work at [popular fast food store]?”

Me: “Yup! Five years of putting up with customers like that; I think I may have brought them with me!”

Next Customer: “Oh, dear me. Well, this is for you, darling! Keep that smile going!”

(The woman hands me a £5 note, swiftly followed by several more from the other customers in the store, all of whom come over when they hear where I used to work!)

Shaken About The Stirring

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(We have a condiment bar right next to the door that offers various sugars, half & half, and other coffee additives that the customers can add themselves.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “I’ll have a decaf latte with two sugars, please.”

Me: “Certainly. Our sugar is over by the door for your convenience.”

Customer: “Oh, of course.”

(I ring him up, and my coworker makes his latte and hands it to me. I place it on the counter for the customer, who comes up and proceeds to stare at me.)

Me: “Yes? Is there anything else, sir?”

Customer: “Oh! I’m so sorry.”

(He runs across the shop to the door, picks out two packets of sugar, and then runs back and hands them to me expectantly.)

Me: “You want me to add them?”

Customer: “Of course!”

Me: “…okay.”

(I add the packets myself while he watches. I replace the lid and hand it back, but he continues to stare at me.)

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer: “The sugar is just going to settle at the bottom if you don’t stir it!”

Me: “The stirrers are provided for you at the condiment bar, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, fine! I’ll just do it myself.”

(He hustles out, grabbing a stirrer and clumsily trying to fix his coffee as he walks. My coworker stares at me.)

Coworker: “Did he just make all the effort of running all over the shop, just to have you pour his sugar in?”

Good Honest Coffee

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

Regular: “Is [coworker] here?”

Me: “No, is there something I can do for you?”

Regular: “Oh, I was just here yesterday and I was chatting with [coworker], and didn’t pay for my espresso. I’d like to pay for it now.”

(I look at him in shock.)

Regular: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Me: “Because most people aren’t that honest.”

Regular: “Well, they should be; what’s so difficult about it?”

Me: “Nothing, but it’s unusual. Would you like your usual along with it?”

Regular: “Yes, please, but make sure you charge me for yesterday’s as well.”

(The girl I am working with and I are just awestruck. It puts us in a good mood for the rest of the day.)