Dripping With Contradictions

| Brisbane, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

Me: “Sure. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Is there any coffee in a latte?”

Me: “Yeah, there is. We put two shots of coffee in a tall latte.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. How about the cappuccino? Does that have coffee?”

Me: “Yes, sir, there are two shots in the cappuccino as well.”

Customer: “So, are you SURE there is coffee in a cappuccino? Because I really need coffee!”

Me: “I can assure you there is coffee in it. I can even give you extra shots of coffee.”

Customer: “So, there is coffee in it?”

Me: “Yes, there is coffee in a cappuccino.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t want coffee! What kind of place is this?!”

Me: “A…coffee shop?”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

Me: *completely confused*

You’re Driving Me Strawberry And Bananas

| Lexington, KY, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m taking orders at a coffee shop.)

Me: “What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Strawberry banana smoothie.”

Me: “What size would you like?”

Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

Me: “Yep, and what size?”

Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

Me: “But what size would you like?”

Customer: “STRAWBERRY BANANA.”

Me: *trying another approach* “Would you like a large or a small?”

Customer: “Medium!”

The Golden Rude

| Summerville, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(I am working at the drive-thru at our coffee shop.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [coffee shop]. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *complete silence*

(I can see his car in our camera and he’s not talking.)

Me: “Did you have any questions or anything?”

Customer: “Well, there you are! What kind of smoothies do you have?”

Me: “We have strawberry banana, orange mango banana, and chocolate banana.”

Customer: “I want a strawberry one.”

Me: “Okay, that will be—”

Customer: *drives away from the speaker before I can finish*

(The customer in front of this customer in the drive-thru line has an issue with her order, so we have to wait until it is ready. During this time I make small talk with the customer as we are trained to do. After handing the customer her beverage, the next car pulls up.)

Me: “That will be [price]. Your smoothie is on its way!”

Customer: “I have a concern. You just wasted 5 minutes of my time having a conversation with that other customer. If I had honked my horn, you would have called me rude, but don’t you think it is rude to have personal conversations on my time? I just can’t believe you would do things like that. My time is valuable and I don’t like my time to be wasted!”

Me: “Well, they had an issue with their order and we had to wait. I thought it would be rude to ask her to stop talking to me. I will go check on your smoothie.”

(I get the smoothie and come back to the window.)

Me: “All right, there you go!”

(I am holding the smoothie out toward the customer. He spends a good two to three minutes talking on the phone while I wait.)

Customer: *turns and finally sees me* “Well, finally, what took so long?”

Me: “I’ve been standing here for two minutes.”

Customer: “Well, I was on the phone. Why didn’t you say something?”

Me: “I didn’t want to be rude.”

The Cappuccino’d Crusader

| New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(Note: I am with my friend at a coffee shop.)

Me: *to friend* “Hey, can you order my drink for me? I have to go to the bathroom.”

My Friend: “Yeah, of course!”

(I return from the bathroom and sit in the waiting area with my friend.)

Cashier: “I have a mocha frappe for Batman?”

My Friend: *grins at me*

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “FRAPPE FOR BATMAN!”

My Friend: *grins* “He’s calling you…”

Me: “What do you…oh my God, you didn’t!”

Cashier: “Yes, she did. Here’s your order, Batman.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Cashier: “No problem. Just remember to protect Gotham!”

Lukewarm Science

| Indiana, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A customer orders a large mocha, but only lukewarm. After receiving it, she takes a sip, grimaces, and sighs.)

Customer: “I really miss hot coffee.”

Me: “I can heat it up more if you like.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it has to be lukewarm. I’m trying to lose weight. I read that calories are a unit of heat!”

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