High On Coffee, Low On Everything Else

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a small coffee shop outside a shopping center. There is a regular who is known for being very rude and ignorant about his wealth. I am a 17-year-old girl, who has recently got this job.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [coffee shop], what woul—”

Regular: *aggressively* “Coffee!”

Me: “Okay, what ki—”

Regular: “Dumb b**** lowlife! I said coffee!”

Me: “Sir, please don’t use that language here.”

Regular: “For f***’s sake! This is why I am rich, and you work at a dump like this! Probably so you can buy your drug money!”

Me: “Sir, I—”

Regular: “B****! WE SHOULD TAKE ALL YOU LOWLIFES, AND BURY YOU LIKE MAGGOTS!”

Me: *tearing up* “Sir, plea—”

Regular: “SHUT UP YOU FILTHY W**** B****! AND MAKE ME MY D*** COFFEE!”

(My manager comes running out to see what’s going on. Before he can speak up, a small old lady next in line starts speaking.)

Old Woman: “Now listen here, you ignorant rat! This woman has barely had a chance to speak! If we did what you said, and got rid of the lower classes, who would change your god-d*** diapers, and make you your morning cup of coffee?”

Regular: “D*** you! I uh…” *turning to me* “I want my coffee, NOW!”

Manager: “NO, YOU CAN LEAVE MY STORE BEFORE I CALL THE COPS!”

(The regular turns even more red, and runs out of the store. My manager gives me the rest of the day off, as well as a free meal. The old woman also leaves me a $20 tip!)

One Is Too Hot, One Is Too Cold, And The Customer Is Not Right

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I have just finished preparing some drinks for a guest.)

Me: “Alright, I’ve got two caramel macchiatos, one hot, one over ice, ready at the bar!”

(I put both drinks down, one in a hot cup, the other in an iced cup.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young man.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Are these my drinks?”

Me: “Those are two caramel macchiatos, sir. One hot, one iced.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

Me: “Is there a problem with your drinks, sir?”

Customer: “Err… which one’s the hot one?”

(I physically pause for a few seconds, to see if he’s joking with me.)

Me: “The hot one’s the hot one. The one over ice has the ice in the cup.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks! I never know what fancy coffee drinks you people make nowadays.”

Separation Of Church And Irate

| CA, USA | Bigotry, Politics, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(A group of women have a weekly Bible study at our coffee shop. I am waiting on a young man in line.)

Customer: “You need to do something about those women over there. They can’t have a Bible study in a place like this.”

Me: “Yes they can. They come here every week, order coffee and pastries, and don’t disturb anyone.”

Customer: “Well, they are offending me! They shouldn’t be here!”

(The customer starts yelling.)

Customer: “SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!”

Me: “Sir, please keep your voice down.”

Customer: “I demand to see your manager!”

(I get my manager, who has been observing this situation from the back room.)

Customer: “A coffee shop is no place for a Bible study. This is offensive!”

Manager: “These women have been meeting here for over five years. They have never caused any problem to anyone. Now give your order to the barista, and then leave.”

(The customer orders, and as he is leaving, walks by the women and knocks a Bible onto the floor. She picks it up, puts it back on the table and heads over to the counter. She thanks me and my manager for sticking up for them, and puts a $20 in the tip jar!)