(I work in a coffee shop. I am on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
(I work as a barista at my local coffee shop.)
Customer: “I’d like a coffee to go.”
Me: “Awesome, did you want the small size or the big one?”
Customer: “Small. I might be a big guy, but I have a small thing—” *catches himself* “I mean, I like small things—” *catches himself again*
Me: “It’s okay—”
Customer: “I mean…uh…small. I will take a small cup, fill it with coffee, and then leave so you and your coworker can laugh at me.”
Me: *smiles and contains laughter* “That’ll be $1.75.”
Size Matters, Part 8
Size Matters, Part 7
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Your Drive Me Crazy! This week, we share five stories of customers who drive employees nuts—and the brave workers who are driven to serve them just the same!
- Drive Hoo:
Woohoo! Drive-thru customers can really drive you crazy!
- Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time:
Proof that Pokémon-players take “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” VERY seriously.
- Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…:
A customer wanting to clone his dog? Just another day at the bookstore!
- That Was Random:
One coffee shop customer takes a random walk on the weird side.
- We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This:
Tech support can fix your hard drive, but not the car you drive!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I work at a cafe that offers bottled water. The bottles are quite large.)
Customer: “Do you have any smaller bottles of water?”
Me: “No, but I can give you an ice water.”
Customer: “What’s an ice water?” *confused*
Me: “Just, like, a cup of water with some ice in it.”
Customer: “Oh! Well, I don’t often drink coffee, so, no thanks!”
Water You, Stupid, Part 7
Water You, Stupid, Part 6
Water You, Stupid, Part 5
Water You, Stupid, Part 4
Water You, Stupid, Part 3
Water You, Stupid, Part 2
Water You, Stupid