Be-Laboring The Point

| Seattle, WA, USA | Working | September 8, 2015

(I give birth on July 4th, came home on the 6th, and on the 7th my husband and I go around to businesses our friends work at to show them our baby. There is a new cashier to take our order, and he notices we have a little one in a stroller.)

Cashier: “How old is she?”

Husband: “We had her on the fourth, so she’s three days old.”

Cashier: “She’s sooo tiny!”

(Cashier looks me up and down, and his eyes stop at my belly.)

Cashier: *while speaking to my belly in an excited voice* “OOOH! And you have ANOTHER one coming!”

Tip Of The Stupidity Iceberg

| CA, USA | Right | September 5, 2015

(My sister and I are waiting to order coffee, and there is a high school cheerleader in front of us talking to the barista.)

Cheerleader: “So, um, like, you know the iced coffee? Can you make it… like… hot?”

Barista: “…What?”

Cheerleader: “You know, the iced coffee with caramel? Can you make it hot?”

(By this point, I am looking at my sister in disbelief.)

Barista: “Well, um, yeah, we can make you a regular hot coffee with a pump of caramel.”

Cheerleader: “…oh…”

(She discusses this for a little bit more before simply ordering the iced coffee. It takes everything in me not to laugh at the poor girl. She seemed sweet, but that’s not defying stereotypes!)

Likes His Coffee Extra Dark

| HI, USA | Working | September 3, 2015

(I am buying a drink from a common coffee shop. After giving my order, the employee asks:)

Employee: “And what was your name?”

Me: *deadpan* “I am Lord Voldemort.”

(We share a laugh.)

Me: “I gave my name as ‘Hermione Granger’ once, but the barista ended up writing ‘Lord Voldemort’ on the cup. I’ve used that ever since.”

Employee: “You know, I’m going to buy your drink for you, seeing as you’re the Dark Lord and all.”

Me: “Wow, thank you! The Dark Lord is pleased.”

The Mistress Of Suspense

| USA | Working | September 1, 2015

(I am talking to my coworker about movies.)

Coworker: “I really like horror movies. To look at me you’d think I liked pop music and girly movies but I really like horror.”

Me: “So do you like Hitchcock, then?”

Coworker: “I haven’t seen that one, actually.”

Me: “…”

Lack Of Con-Text And Lack Of Management

| Columbus, OH, USA | Working | August 29, 2015

(I’ve just transferred to a new location, but I’ve been with this company for two and a half years, meaning I have far more experience than most of my coworkers. I am having some trouble adjusting to the laziness of this new crew, as I have come from a store where the crew is tight-knit and always on task. This happens during a rush with a line in the store and a line in the drive-thru. My bar support has just hurt himself and had to leave the floor, leaving me, one barista on the window, and one barista at the front. I have been answering the drive-thru when my coworker doesn’t, which is nearly every time.)

Me: “Thanks for choosing [Company]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: *rattles off large order* “…and do you have any chocolate chip cookies left?”

Me: “I’m not sure; let me check on that for you.” *turns off headset and yells to coworker* “Do we have any chocolate chip cookies left?”

Coworker: *silent*

Me: *while working my way frantically through a line of 20+ drinks* “[Coworker]! Do we have any chocolate chip cookies?” *I look up to see she is texting and ignoring me*

Coworker #2: *calls to me while working with a line of customers at the front* “No, we’re out of chocolate chip.”

Me: *back on the headset* “I’m so sorry, we’re out of chocolate chip. Could I get you oatmeal?”

Customer: “No, my kids hate oatmeal. Do you have brownies?”

Me: “Let me check for you.” *turns off headset* “[Coworker], please check if we have brownies.”

(My coworker is still ignoring me and texting with a line of drinks sitting and waiting to be passed out to the customers at the window.)

Me: “[COWORKER]! Seriously?! I can’t take the orders, check the pastries, make the drinks, AND pass the drinks out! YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TOO!”

(My coworker bursts into tears and runs to the back, leaving me and Coworker #2 to deal with this mess. Later, after the whole ordeal is finished and we’ve finally gotten all the customers taken care of (and half the drinks given away for free because of wait times), Coworker emerges back out onto the floor and shoot a smug look at me. Moments later, I am called to the back by the manager.)

Me: “Hey, [Manager], what’s up? You needed to see me?”

Manager: “[Coworker] said you screamed at her on the floor when she was working as hard as she could. She also said you called her lazy and worthless.”

Me: “Honestly? I did yell at her, but I never called her lazy or worthless. We were in the middle of a massive rush and she was texting and ignoring everything I was asking her. She wasn’t even taking orders! I yelled that she needed to help me, because I was already way behind.”

Manager: “Well, you need to apologize to her. I won’t write you up this time. But you need to remember you’re a team.”

Me: “…Seriously?”

(I started looking for a new job that day.)

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