Should Have Left It Alone

| Canada | Right | May 16, 2017

(I overhear this while at a coffee shop with a friend.)

Cashier #1: ‘Sorry, but we only carry that one style. I understand you’re left-handed but it shouldn’t—”

Customer: “I’m not left-handed! Your cup is left-handed! I need a right-handed cup!”

Cashier #1: “Oh, I see. Well, that cup is the only style we carry so it should work with any hand.”

Customer: “No! It’s not right! I need a right-handed cup! I’m not left-handed. I can’t use a left-handed cup!”

Cashier #1: “Okay, well, it should work with both left and right hand—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t because it’s a left-handed cup and I need a right-handed cup!”

Cashier #2: “Do you need any help?”

Customer: “Yes! You sold me a left-handed cup and I’m right-handed! I need a right-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “You can use that cup with any hand, sir.”

Customer: “No, you can’t! This is a left-handed cup! I need you to get me a right-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “Okay, sure. But before that, can I see your cup?”

Customer: “Fine. Here. See? It’s a left-handed cup.”

Cashier #2: “Well, let me try… Well, it seems fine with my right hand.”

Customer: “But the handle is on my LEFT side!”

Cashier #2: “Well, let’s try turning the cup this way and try holding it now with your right hand. Is that okay, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah… That seems fine.”

Cashier #2: “Good. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

Customer: “No, no. I’m good… Did you know this before?”

Cashier #1: “Yes, I knew.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I didn’t know you could use it with any hand, you see. I didn’t know.”

Cashier #2: “Yes, I see. Well, that’s okay. Now you know.”

Customer: “Right. But I didn’t know at first. I didn’t know you could just turn the cup around.”

Cashier #2: “Right. That’s okay. Is there anything else?”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I’m good now. I just didn’t know that this cup worked with both right and left hands.”

Cashier #2: “Well, I’m glad we’ve helped you figure it out. Have a nice night.”

Customer: “Yeah, you, too. I just didn’t know you could use the cup that way.”

It’s A Tall Order

| Shanghai, China | Working | May 5, 2017

(I am a regular at this particular coffee store, and I know they sometimes have difficulty understanding the order, so I always make sure I enunciate very clearly and don’t speak too fast. Also, I always order the same drink, so by now most of the employees know what I want without me even having to formally order. However one day…)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a tall Caramel Frappucino, for here, please.”

Employee: “Oh, frappucino. Which flavor?”

Me: “Caramel. Tall, please, and for here.”

Employee: “Which size?”

Me: “Tall. For here.”

Employee: “Okay, for here, or do you need a bag?”

Me: “…for here, thank you.”

Employee: “All right, your total is [amount], and your order will be ready soon. Please wait over there.”

(I ended up getting the wrong drink in the wrong size, but I decided not to have it remade since I was in a hurry.)

They Won’t Stop For Muffin, Part 2

, | ON, Canada | Right | April 29, 2017

(I work in a well known coffee place in Canada. This takes place while I’m working as the ‘order taker’ on a headset in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Okay, would you like anything else today?”

Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Pumpkin Spice muffin?”

Me: “So sorry, hun. Our Pumpkin Spice season is over. Would you like me to list the muffins we do carry?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “Blueberry, chocolate chip, cranberr—”

Customer: *interrupting* “Do you have raisin bran?”

Me: “No, sorry, But we have cranberry apple walnut bran, fruit explosion, coff—”

Customer: *interrupting again* “What about banana nut?”

Me: *trying not sound frustrated* “No… sorry. The last two muffins we have are coffee cake and red velvet.”

(There is a long pause:)

Customer: “What about lemon poppy seed. You guys have that?”

(My coworkers, who also wear headsets, are now laughing as I mime a strangling motion.)

They Won’t Stop For Muffin

This Not Working Is Just Not Working

, | Shawnee Mission, KS, USA | Working | April 21, 2017

(A coworker and I are the same age, and when she started working we generally get along. Sometimes I would even give her part of my tips if she didn’t make a lot. Since then she has become a royal pain and altogether terrible worker. I’ve seen her steal tips out of the jar, both on her working days and her days off. I’ve seen her call in and then show up at the shop to make herself and her friends free food and drinks. I’ve opened the shop the day after she has closed and come in to a mess that takes nearly three hours to clean up. She would be scheduled for two days a week and call in one. She has failed to show up several times, and her excuse for her absence was basically “Well, if I had known I needed to show up I would have.” We are short staffed, meaning shifts usually consist of one employee at a time. It also means my coworker probably won’t be fired, seeing as we need people. My coworker in question is on work suspension for excessively calling in, after months of incidents, and as a result is only allowed to work eight hours a week. It is the day before I am scheduled to open the shop at 5:30 am. I live half an hour away, so to get there on time I need to wake up around 4:30. My coworker texts me at 10:45 pm. this night, waking me up.)

Coworker: “Hey, I have a church thing tomorrow. Could you work for me from 2:00-6:00?”

Me: “If I really have to, I guess, but I’m opening tomorrow also.”

Coworker: “[Manager] says it’s fine. Thanks so much!”

(I decide not to argue because I’m not very busy the next day anyway. I go in for my morning shift and get off at 11:00 am. My manager has the shift from 9:00-2:00. Instead of wasting gas to go home for an hour and a half, I decide to sleep in my car until 2:00. I go back in until my other, much more likeable coworker comes in at 6:000. She sees me and immediately gets angry, as this is not the first time it has happened.)

Good Coworker: “Go home. I’ll deal with her. Do not take another shift of hers, got it?”

Me: “I wasn’t planning to.”

(The next day, my good coworker forwards me what is apparently the reply of our manager to what I assume was a long, merciless rant about the bad coworker.)

Manager: “I understand your concerns, but [Coworker] has a tough home life. I wouldn’t be surprised if she messes up here and there. I’ll talk to her about it, but there’s not much I can do, since we need workers. Most of the customers like her anyways. Cut her some slack.”

(I, in turn, sent a lengthy email of the above along with this manager’s reply to my supervisor, who seems to be unaware of the situation. Her solution was to increase her suspension to four hours a week. Losing it, I told her that four hours is all the coworker works anyway. I was fired for talking back.)

About To Be Old-Fashion Glazed

| OH, USA | Right | April 20, 2017

(A couple has just walked in and ordered two donuts, and I place them both in the same bag and hand them out. After I wish them a nice day, I hear this conversation:)

Woman: *to the man* “Oh, she put our donuts in the same bag. My donut is contaminating your donut. MY DONUT IS HAVING SEX WITH YOUR DONUT!”

(I ended up having to run to the back room to burst out laughing.)

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