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When Sugary Doesn’t Mean Sweet

| Ross Township, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work for a global mega-corporation coffee shop. One of the summer promotional items is an insanely sugary blended drink, and it is the highest-selling promotional drink the company has ever had. As the summer is nearly over, however, we have run out of some of the ingredients to make it.)

Customer: “Hi, gimme a large [Summer Promo Beverage]! With extra dark caramel sauce and topping!”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, we’ve run out of that for the summer! Would you—”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “Yeah, unfortunately we just used the last of the product within the past couple of days.”

(She turns to my coworker.)

Customer: “YOU! It’s all YOUR FAULT!”

Coworker: “Me?! I didn’t do it!”

Customer: *to me* “Can I smack him? Is that allowed?”

Me: “It’s not his fault! Other customers drank it all. And no, you may not smack him.”

Customer: “No, it’s definitely his fault!”

Me: *sarcastically* “Yeah, I’m sure he sat there and drank all the dark caramel through a straw, just to make you mad.”

Customer: “HE PROBABLY DID!”

Coworker: “Hey, how about I make you a regular caramel [Blended Drink] and put a bunch of extra caramel in it? That’s pretty much all the [Promo Drink] is.”

Customer: “It’s not the same! But I guess it’ll have to do…”

(I ring her up for the drink and she continues to make comments, gradually getting louder and louder as she goes…)

Customer: “It’s not right! You guys shouldn’t be out of that drink. It’s all YOUR fault.”

Coworker: “It’s still not my fault!”

Customer: “Well, I’m blaming YOU for it. You guys should sell that all the time. Why would [Coffee Chain] stop selling such a popular drink? WHY WOULD [Coffee Chain] STOP SELLING SUCH A POPULAR DRINK? It shouldn’t just be a SUMMER drink; it should be available ALL the time! WHY WOULD [Coffee Chain] NOT WANT TO SELL IT ALL THE TIME? You know what? I’m going to file a complaint with the company! I’ll write to [Company CEO]! I’LL GO TO OBAMA HIMSELF!” *leaves with drink*

Me: “What the f*** is Obama going to do about her stupid [Promo Drink]?”

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Venting Tall

| Sacramento, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’ve gotten up early to get my mom and me coffee one morning. I’m not a morning person by any means.)

Me: “Can I get a tall white mocha?”

Barista: “Sure, anything else?”

Me: “A tall, venti nonfat cappuccino please.”

Barista: “A what?”

Me: “A tall, venti nonfat cappuccino, please.”

Barista: “Honey, you’re making up drinks now. Would you like a tall or venti?”

Me: *suddenly hitting me what I’ve been saying* “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry. I meant venti.”

Barista: “I give everyone a break this early.”

(Luckily she had been our barista for about six years and knew I was actually smart.)

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Driving Away Business

| MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Geography, Popular

(I am a 16-year-old girl working at the drive-thru of a popular coffee shop. It’s a busy day and we are moving through the line quickly, until this customer.)

Me: “Here are your drinks, sir. Have a great day!”

Customer: “How do you get to [Small Town 50 miles away]?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, sir. I actually don’t know. There are plenty of places to get maps downtown, which is about two minutes down the street.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to go down there. Ask someone else.”

(I turn to a coworker and ask her how to get there, but she doesn’t know either.)

Me: “Sorry, she doesn’t know either. I see you have a [Popular Smartphone]; you could always look up directions on there. We have free Wi-Fi.”

Customer: “No! Ask someone else! I need to know now!”

(As it is only me and my coworker working, I resort to asking a customer inside the store.)

Me: “All right, he just told me you should get on route three west to get to the area.”

Customer: “How do I get to route three west?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know, and there is a line behind you. I’ve helped you the best I could.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You should know this! What the h*** are you getting paid for?” *drives off*

Me: “I’m pretty sure I’m getting paid to make your coffee…”

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Can’t Fight The Empire Without Coffee

| Mon Cala | April Fool's Day

(I am working at a coffee shop, serving a stream of customers. I serve a Mon Calamari, who is looking our seasonal specials.)

Customer: “What’s a Janeway special?”

Me: “It’s a special cross-promotion we’re doing with another franchise. It’s essentially just coffee, black.”

Customer: “I’ll take it then.”

Me: “Coming right up!”

(I prepare his coffee, but in his eagerness the customer goes ahead and reaches for another customer’s order.)

Me: “No, sir, that’s—”

(Too late, he takes a sip. The Mon Calamari’s huge eyes go even wider than normal as he gives me a look of horror and betrayal.)

Customer: “It’s a frap!”

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Her Bark Is Worse Than Her Dog’s Bite

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I work in a coffee shop, and it is against the rules to bring pets into the store. A young woman comes inside, yelling into a phone. A two-year-old child is with her. A few minutes later she brings her dog inside, too.)

Customer: *yelling into phone* “I don’t f****** care! Get me a f****** ride!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you need to take your dog outside.”

Customer: “F*** off, I’ll take him outside soon.”

(The customer then proceeds to continue yelling into the phone.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, you need to take your dog outside right now.”

Customer: “I said f*** off; I’ll take him outside in a second!”

(The customer proceeds to scream into the phone, looking back at my coworker every couple of seconds to scream at her, too.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, if you refuse to speak to me politely and don’t take your dog outside, we will call the pol—”

Customer: “CALL THE F****** POLICE, THEN!”

(We call the police, who find her camped out in our drive-thru, still screaming into her phone. The last we see of her, she’s being taken away by the cops, with her child in a separate cruiser.)

Me: “Do you want to know the scariest part of all that?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “During the entirety of that whole exchange, that kid didn’t bat an eye. Didn’t cry or anything.”

Coworker: “That is terrifying.”

(You can tell that child was used to her mother’s tantrums.)

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