I work at a popular chain of coffee shops.

Customer: “Hi. I’d like a venti latte with oat milk, please.”

Me: “Okay, great.”

I press the button on the register for “Oat Latte”.

Customer: “No, not an oat latte. A latte with oat milk.”

Me: “Right. I mean, it’s the same thing. I just have a button for ‘oat latte’ instead of ‘latte with oat milk’.”

The customer is stone-faced.

Me: “All righty, then. That’ll be [amount], and it will be up on the left for you.”

When the drink is put up on the bar for the customer to grab, he reads the label.

Customer: “Excuse me. This is an oat latte. I specifically asked for a latte with oat milk.”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, that’s what it is. It’s the same thing.”

Customer: “NO, IT IS NOT. REMAKE IT!”

My coworker ended up remaking the drink — exactly the same way — but when she handed it to him, she said, “Latte with oat milk,” and the customer was finally satisfied. It’s become a joke in our family now that if you’re being irrationally obtuse, someone says, “Okay, oat milk!”

Related:
This Customer Has A Latte Problems, Part 3
This Customer Has A Latte Problems, Part 2
This Customer Has A Latte Problems

My college issues ID cards that can be loaded with money and used at on-campus stores. I put some money on my card, and go to the campus coffee shop. It turns out that I didn’t do it right, and my card is declined.

Me: “Sorry, I thought I had money on the card.”

Barista: “That’s all right, here’s what to do…”

She explains the procedure.

The customer behind me, who I’ve never seen before, speaks up.

Customer: “I’ll pay for it; go ahead.”

Me: “Oh, thank you! I really appreciate it!”

Customer: *Condescendingly* “Now, next time, make sure you have money before you come in. I can’t always help you out.”

I didn’t ask for your help THIS time!

Our coffee chain has a subscription where you can get five drinks a day for a monthly fee. Near the end of the afternoon, a customer comes in.

Customer: “Hazelnut latte, please. I have the subscription.”

Me: “Just scan the app and I’ll get that for you.”

He scans his app, but my till informs me it is invalid.

Me: “Sir, it looks like you’ve used up all five drinks for today.”

Customer: “No, I have used four.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ve actually used five.”

Customer: “No, I have used four. My wife has my code on her phone, so she used one today, but I personally have used four.”

Me: “That’s still five.”

Customer: “No, when I signed up, you people said I could get five coffees a day. I have only used four.”

Me: “Yes, but your account has been used five times. You used four, and you wife used one, so that’s five.”

Customer: “No, I have used four.”

Me: “Yes, but your account has been used five—”

Customer: “It doesn’t matter. I have used four. I am owed one more drink. Get your manager if you can’t do the maths.”

Me: “Sir, you’re the one saying that four plus one equals four.”

Me: “Here’s your drink, sir.”

Customer: “This cappuccino feels like it’s one-third foam!”

Me: “…you’re welcome?”

Related:
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 6
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 5
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 4
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 3
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 2

I was at a coffee shop. There were two padded chairs in a corner, and I was sitting in one of them. The other chair was next to an empty table. An elderly man and what I assumed was his grandson walked up.

Grandfather: “Excuse me. Is this seat taken?”

He gestured to the empty padded chair.

Me: “Oh, no. Go ahead.”

The grandfather sat. He pulled a chair out from the table for his grandson, who seemed to be happily playing with a toy. I turned back to my laptop and put my headphones on. After a moment, I realized the grandfather was trying to get my attention, so I pulled off my headphones.

Grandfather: “You know, staring too much at a screen can damage your eyes.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

I turned back to my laptop and ignored him. I guess you were upset that I wasn’t interested in talking to you, old man. Maybe you should have focused on spending time with your grandson instead of making passive-aggressive remarks to strangers.