(Note: I’m a male customer at a coffee shop. I’m standing in line behind an obnoxious man and a beautiful blonde woman he’s unsuccessfully trying to chat up. The server is a young woman who appears to be new at her job.)
Man: “Excuse me! I ordered a non-fat, non-sugar, orange mocha chip frappuccino! This isn’t non-fat, and there’s no whip cream on it.”
Barista: “I’m so sorry, sir. I’ll remake it immediately.”
Man: *to blonde woman* “What is up with these guys!? They screw everything up.”
Barista: “Here’s your drink, sir. I hope this one is up to standard.”
Man: “What are you, f****** r*****ed?! This is a plain mocha frappuccino! I wanted an orange chip mocha frappuccino! Get it f****** right!”
(The barista remakes his drink again, but is clearly on the verge of tears.)
Man: “Oh, my God, you people need to learn to speak English! I said non-fat. Don’t tell me it is non-fat, because I can taste—”
(At this point, the blonde woman decides she’s had enough of the man and interrupts him.)
Blonde Woman: *in a strong Irish accent* “WILL YOU STOP BEING A JERK FOR FIVE F***ING MINUTES?! The girl has made the d*** coffee perfectly this time — I watched her! And, even if she hasn’t, she’s young and clearly new at her job. It’s a f****** coffee! Cut her some slack!”
Man: “Excuse me, but I want what I asked for! I don’t see why that’s so hard!”
Blonde Woman: “She probably looked at you, assumed you were a man, and was therefore completely confused by your non-fat, non-sugar, orange mocha chip frappuccino order. Real men drink real coffee, and they don’t bully teenage girls until they cry. Now, can you please stop being an almighty dickhead, and just f*** off?!”
(Everyone in the coffee shop clapped, and the man left, embarrassed. I paid for the blonde woman’s coffee, and found out she is from the same part of Ireland as me. One thing led to another, and I asked her to marry me this Christmas. She said yes!)
