I work at a licensed [Coffee Chain]; we aren’t owned by the chain, but we sell their products. A guy comes in and orders drinks for himself and his wife.

Customer: “Let me get a vanilla cappuccino for my wife.”

I make it, and he comes back a few minutes later.

Customer: “This is the wrong drink.”

I start to explain what a cappuccino is, figuring he meant to order a latte, which is what usually happens.

Customer: “No, I thought it was like a hot chocolate.”

After staring at him for a second, I make him a hot chocolate and go to charge him for it. Usually, I would have replaced it for free, but he’s been a jerk the entire time.

Customer: *Freaking out* “I shouldn’t have to pay for the drink when you messed up my order.”

Me: “My job is to make the drink you ordered. It’s not on me if that’s not the drink you wanted.”

Related:
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 7
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 6
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 5
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 4
Cappuccino-No-No, Part 3

Some baristas like making cappuccinos, getting the foam to milk to espresso ratios just right. Cappuccinos were the bane of my existence as a barista.

One time, I got a venti cup with a dreaded C for “cappuccino”. They wanted a venti cappuccino… EXTRA DRY.

I spent the next ten minutes cursing my fate and steaming pitcher after pitcher of milk, trying to make enough g**d*** foam (which I was never very good at) for this g**d*** extra dry venti cappuccino.

I handed the finished drink to the woman who had ordered it. She then gasped and cried out:

Customer: “This is… EMPTY!”

Me: “It’s an extra dry cappuccino, ma’am.”

Customer: “But why is there nothing in it?”

Me: “That’s what an extra dry cappuccino is: mostly foam.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I’ve never had one before.”

Related:
What An Airhead

A woman orders a small coffee. I pour it and hand it to her. She looks at it all confused.

Customer: “I ordered a coffee.”

Me: “That is a coffee.”

The woman refuses to accept the fact that she is holding a cup of coffee. A coworker finishes making a strawberry and cream frappe for a young girl, maybe nine or ten years old, and hands it to the girl. The woman looks down at the little girl’s drink.

Customer: “That’ll do.”

She snatched it from the girl’s hands and walked out the door with both the girl’s drink and the coffee.

Took me a couple of days to cool down about that, and yes, we banned the woman from the store.

A woman walks up to the hand-off counter, picks up a green iced tea that’s been waiting to be picked up, and shakes it at me to get my attention.

Customer: “Excuse me. I ordered a black tea, and this looks like green tea.”

Me: “The cup says it’s for Michelle. Is that your name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then that’s not your drink. I see your black iced tea in line; it will be up in just a minute. Thanks for your patience.”

She shakes the green tea at me again.

Customer: “This is green. I want black.”

Me: “I know. That’s not your drink. Yours is almost done being made.”

She shakes the green tea at me yet again.

Customer: “I said I wanted black tea! Why is this green?! Remake this!”

Luckily, her black tea was “remade” just in time to stop her from ignoring me again.

My first job is at a popular Canadian coffee shop. After several years of living overseas immersed in languages I didn’t speak, my ability to decode broken English very quickly makes me the de facto “translator” of the team, despite barely having passed my probation period. I am usually kept as a cashier or order taker because of this.

A VERY large man enters, looking angry.

Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

Man: *In a Russian accent* “NEED TAKE!”

Me: “Take?”

Man: “COFFEE! TAKE!”

Me: “What size of coffee, sir?”

Man: *Frustrated* “TAKE! TAKE SIZE!”

I am thoroughly confused, but I have a random thought. This is a very large man, and to a large man, a large may not be big enough. The only thing bigger is…

Me: “Oh! You need a Take-12!”

A Take-12 is an insulated box of fresh, hot coffee with enough for twelve small coffees, along with milk, cream, and sugar.

Man: *Smiling* “YES! TAKE!”

My thought process may be odd, but it quite often works!

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Boris Is Now Swedish
Ivan, Cousin To Boris, Fights Scammers, Too
Boris Delivers When Boris Feels Like It
Boris Can See Through You