My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Customers, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 9, 2018

(Due to a mix-up in the orders, we have run out of large cups. We are informing all customers of this when they order. A woman comes up with a large group of people and my coworker serves them.)

Coworker: “Hi, guys. Just to let you know, I’m afraid we’ve run out of large cups today. Sorry about that. What can I get you?”

Customer: “A large mocha.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry. We’ve run out of large cu—”

Customer: “A small, then. And a large latte.”

Coworker: “As I said, we’ve run out of—”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just fit more into a small?”

My Cup Runneth Over With Bad Customers

A Common Americano Mistake

, , , | Right | February 8, 2018

(I’m in line at a well-known US coffee shop chain. It’s quite busy, and the line is stretched nearly out the door; it’s the morning rush. There are two gentlemen in front of me in line who look like mechanics. One orders a grande Americano with room. I place my order and go to the other end to wait, when this happens:)

Employee: “Tall Americano with room! On the bar!”

(The guy who was in front of me grabs the coffee and puts half-and-half in it and stirs it up. His buddy then pipes up:)

Mechanic #1: “Dude, that’s a girl’s drink.”

Mechanic #2: “What? Screw you! No, it isn’t! Guys order Americanos all the time; don’t be a jerk.”

Mechanic #1: “No, dude. There’s a chick’s name on the side of the cup.”

(He looks and, sure enough, there is an obviously female name written on the side of the cup. A lady pipes up from the crowd of people waiting for their drinks.)

Lady: “That’s my drink!”

(The staff visibly stiffens and everyone braces themselves for her to flip out.)

Lady: “Man, I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes for that! How long did you wait? Five seconds? Did you think you were going to get yours before everyone else? Look at this line!”

Mechanic #2: “I… I… I’m so sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I got the same thing; you can have mine.”

Lady: “Dude, I’m messing with you. You didn’t put your finger in it, or anything?”

Mechanic #2: “No, just some half-and-half and a stirrer.”

Lady: “That’s what I was going to get, anyway. No worries, man.”

(She grabs the coffee and walks out. The guy’s coffee comes next, a grande Americano. He looks embarrassed.)

Mechanic #2: “It wasn’t even the same size. I need coffee before I get my coffee.”

(We all had a good laugh. It was really nice to see everyone keep their cool and not make a big deal out of it. We all started our morning off with a chuckle.)

Just Don’t Tell Them To Spit And Polish

, , , | Working | February 6, 2018

(One of my coworkers has taken a piece of equipment that holds flavored syrup for coffee to the back to wash.)

Me: “You know that would be easier to clean if you applied some elbow grease.”

Coworker: “Okay, where do you get that?”

Your Own Private Coffee

, , , , , , | Right | February 6, 2018

(I am on a late shift in midtown Manhattan. My assistant manager is acting as cashier and barista while I am bussing the lobby. A rather unkempt-looking 20-something woman wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt comes in and approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I’d like a grande coffee.”

Assistant Manager: “All right, that’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Okay, hold on a minute.”

(The customer turns her back, walks a few steps away, pulls down the front of her sweatpants and underwear, and proceeds to pull something apparently OUT OF her private parts. Aghast, I glance at the assistant manager and he glances back at me, looking horrified. As the woman turns around with a couple of crumpled bills in her hand, he quickly states:)

Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept that. You can just take your coffee for free.”

(The woman gave him a strange smile, took her coffee, and left. The assistant manager rushed to disinfect the counter and the door handle she touched on the way out. Only in New York.)

He’s Got Nothing Going On

, , , , , | Romantic | February 5, 2018

(I’m in line at a coffee shop. I don’t typically like much more than basic iced coffee, but it’s been a crappy week, so I decide to treat myself to a blended, iced mocha drink. As I’m waiting for my drink, the guy who was behind me in line is looking me up and down with a smirk, standing entirely too close given we are the only two people there and don’t know one another. When I make eye contact with him, he grins and raises an eyebrow, gesturing to encompass my body.)

Jerk: “You know, if you start drinking stuff like that, you’re going to ruin everything you’ve got going on.”

(I just stared at him for a second, rolled my eyes, and turned away until my drink was called. As I walked off, I heard him call me a “rude b****.” I’m not sure how me deciding not to respond to his unsolicited commentary about my body was ruder than him offering it in the first place, but oh, well. I guess that’s a pretty basic rude b**** thing to wonder. If only I’d opened myself up to his wisdom!)

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