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Stupidity Is The Mother of Repetition

, , | Right | March 3, 2008

(There is a huge line of customers waiting on their drinks. An impatient customer who just placed his order assumes the next drink is his and takes it, after I call someone else’s name.)

Customer: “This isn’t hot chocolate.”

Me: “That’s because you grabbed someone else’s drink.”

Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate!”

Me: “There are nine people in front of you waiting for drinks. You grabbed the wrong drink.”

Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate.”

(I look at the order screen for the name on the drink he took.)

Me: “Is your name [Other Customer]?”

Customer: “No, and this isn’t hot chocolate!”

Me: “That’s because you took [Other Customer]’s drink!”

Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”

Me: “Hand me the drink and I will remake the person whose drink you took. I’ll make your hot chocolate, but it will take a few minutes!”

(The customer hands the drink back to me.)

Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”

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If You Have To Ask, You’ll Never Know

, , , | Right | February 4, 2008

(A lady walks into the cafe. I just happen to be standing by the counter with my coworker.)

Woman: “I’ll have *order* please”

Coworker: “Okay, that’s $1.47.”

(I make the coffee.)

Woman: *leans in and whispers to me* “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “What exactly is an ‘Emo’?”

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Someone Needs To Switch To Decaf

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2008

(I’m at the front bar of a certain coffee shop, in the middle of making a caramel macchiato. An old, angry, hovering customer approaches me.)

Customer: “What are you doing? I didn’t ask for caramel; I’m allergic! Are you trying to kill me?! I had to wait in line all this time and I can’t get a d*** coffee made right!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a caramel macchiato. I’m sure this isn’t your drink. What did you have today?”

Customer: “I had a latte. I’ve been waiting for ten minutes!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s a latte right here on the counter right next to your handbag.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m late for my movie!”

Me: “Ma’am, I called the drink out three times; you were standing there the whole time.”

Customer: “You should have called louder!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I was practically yelling. I figured it was loud enough. Well, there you are, have a nice day.”

Customer: “YOU MADE ME LATE FOR MY F****** MOVIE!”

Another Customer: “You get the evilest people here, don’t you?”

Me: “LA’s finest. Here’s your macchiato. Have a nice evening.”


This story is part of our Allergic To Common Sense roundup!

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Being Picky Is An Exact Science

, , , | Right | January 20, 2008

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium coffee with twenty seven and a half sugars.”

Me: “I’m sorry, was that… twenty seven and a half?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “You’re sure you don’t just want the twenty-eight?”

Customer: “Ewww, gross! That’d be too sweet.”

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Insatiable

, | Right | January 12, 2008

Me: “One tall cappuccino!”

Customer: *picks up drink, opens lid and looks inside* “Excuse me. There’s a lot of room in here. The top is nothing but foam.”

Me: “Yes, that’s what a cappuccino is. It’s basically the same thing as a latte but with more foam.”

Customer: “I don’t get you guys. You guys make me think I’m buying more by calling a small drink a tall, and now you just fill my drink up with foam.”

Me: “I’m sorry. If you’d like, I could just get you a latte.”

Customer: “No, that’s alright but I will take a passion tea lemonade.”

(I do her order and she comes back.)

Customer: “WHY IS THERE SO MUCH ICE?! F*** YOU GUYS AND YOUR RIP OFF DRINKS!”

(Customer storms off with the drink and chucks it at the window outside.)

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