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Behind Every Policy Is A Stupid Customer

, , , | Right | August 26, 2008

Customer: “I don’t want a lid.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s company policy. I have to serve your hot beverage with a lid on.”

Customer: “This is stupid.”

Me: “We don’t want you to burn yourself–”

Customer: “Then I’ll just blame you.”

Me: “…and that would be why we have the company policy.”

Smile, You’re On Candid Camera

, , , , | Right | August 19, 2008

Customer: “What do you have to eat here?”

Me: “Whatever you see in the pastry case is to eat; we mainly serve drinks.”

Customer: “What’s that up there? ”

(He points to one of the boards behind me and I turn around to see what he’s pointing at. I hear a rustling noise; when I turn back around all the money in my tip cup is gone.)

Me: “Sir? Could you do me a favor?”

Customer: “Uh… what?”

Me: “Look up.”

Customer: *looks up*

Me: “Okay, wave!”

(I start waving at him and, completely confused, he starts to wave back.)

Me: “Sir, that’s a camera up there.”

Customer: “Uh… and?”

Me: “You better put the money back.”

Customer: “What money?”

Me: “You know very well ‘what money.’ Now, put it back and leave.”

(He put the money back and pouted the entire way out the doors.)

That Was Random

, , | Right | August 11, 2008

Me: “Good afternoon! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I’ll have a [frozen coffee drink], please.”

Me: “Alrighty, that’s gonna run you $3.42.”

Customer: “Alright.” *begins to dig around in her purse*

Me: “I’m going to go ahead and get this started for you.”

(As I start to make the drink, I turn to look at the woman and notice that she is slowly making her way behind the counter.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am…”

(The woman proceeds to walk behind the counter, walk to a sink, wash her hands, wipe her hands, throw the paper towel away, and then walk right back around the counter and straight out the door. As my coworkers and I attempt to figure out what just happened, we watch her walk by the drive-thru window, around the building, around the building NEXT to our store, and then back into the store. The woman then approaches the counter.)

Customer: “So, what do I owe you?”

Me: “Uh, $3.42, please.”

Customer: “Sure.”

(An incredibly awkward silence follows.)

Customer: “So, what just happened?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “What just happened?”

Me: “I’m really not sure, ma’am!”

Drive-Thru Virgin

, , , , | Right | August 8, 2008

(A customer pulls up to the drive-thru and the headpiece beeps in my ear to alert me.)

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Place]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: *no response*

Me: “Hello? What can I get for you?”

Customer: *no response*

(The customer drives up to the drive-thru window.)

Customer: “There must be something wrong with your drive-thru. I kept talking but you didn’t hear me.”

Me: “I was trying to talk to you. I know it works because I have been using it all day.”

Customer: “Well, it’s broken now.”

Me: “Did you roll down your window?”

Customer: “Oh, I have to do that?”


This story is part of the Drive-Thru roundup!

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Read the Drive-Thru roundup!

If No Scone, Then Insta-Crone

, , | Right | August 6, 2008

Customer: “I would like a tall coffee and a lemon cranberry scone, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I just sold the last scone to another customer. Would you like a pumpkin scone or a white chocolate blueberry scone instead?”

Customer: “What? No! I come here every morning and get a tall coffee and scone! I DEMAND you get me a scone! Look in the backroom, I need my scone!”

(I go to the backroom to check for a scone, although I knew we didn’t have any.)

Me: “I’m sorry, we just don’t have any more lemon scones. Would you like anything else from the pastry fridge?”

Customer: “I can’t believe you sold my scone to someone else! You ruined my morning!”

Me: “There is another location near here… maybe they will have a scone for you. I can even call them if you want so they can set it aside for yo–”

Customer: “Do you think I have time for that? I run on a schedule!”

(The customer who had bought the last scone notices the situation and comes over.)

Nice customer: “Listen, if you want the scone so bad, just take mine. Seriously I didn’t even touch it… just take it.”

Customer: “NO, THANK YOU!” *storms off*


This story is part of the Customers-Overreacting roundup!

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Read the Customers-Overreacting roundup!