Me: “Thank you for calling [Coffee Chain]; this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Where are you located?”

Me: “We’re at the corner of Main and Fifth.”

Customer: “And where is that?”

Me: “Do you know where Main Street is?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Do you know where Fifth Avenue is?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “That’s where we are.”

Customer: “Well, I’m standing at that intersection, and I can’t find your store. Is it underground or something?”

I look out the window and see a woman who looks lost.

Me: “Ma’am, turn to your left. Do you see a man in a green apron waving at you?” *Begins waving*

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “That man is inside a [Coffee Chain]. Go there.”

Customer: “That’s not [Coffee Chain]. That’s [Sandwich Chain].”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m very confident that I’m in a [Coffee Chain] right now.”

Customer: “You’re not very helpful.” *Click*

I’m working the opening shift at a [Coffee & Donut Shop]. A man tries to give me a [Burger Chain] coupon for two free [English Muffin Sandwiches] in exchange for two sausage, egg, and cheese English muffins.

Me: “Sir… this is [Coffee & Donut Shop]; we can’t take [Burger Chain] coupons. But there is a [Burger Chain] down the street!”

Customer: “Well, why not?! It’s the same d*** thing!”

Back when I was a barista, I had a woman come to my stand.

Woman: “My coworker is back at our office in tears because she came here earlier to buy coffees and now she can’t afford to pay her mortgage!”

I doubt that happened at all. The lady was probably just angling for free coffee by trying to guilt me. And if buying two coffees is enough to put you behind on your mortgage, you’ve got issues far beyond my sphere of influence.

I used to work in a small coffee shop, part of a chain owned by a bakery. This was a family business, and our immediate boss was [Family Member #1], who used to work in our shop two days a week to keep an eye on the operations.

Our coffee shop had maybe ten seats, and we had a lot of takeout customers. We made most of the pastries from frozen dough, which means we had to give them time to thaw and rise, and then we filled and baked them and finally applied frosting. They were super delicious, made with lots of butter and sugar! We also served coffee and other drinks. There weren’t any single-use cups or plates. Everything had to be washed — by hand — so there was plenty to do, in addition to customer service and cleaning tables.

Sundays were often busy. Normally, there were at least two of us working, often more. However, one Sunday, several people got sick and I was the only one available. [Family Member #1] called me in the morning and told me to just do my best. She said that [Family Member #2] would drop in later and give me a hand.

I worked so hard! And I did well! [Family Member #2] came in the afternoon, took a coffee and a pastry, and sat down at one of the tables. I had not had time to clean all the tables, so I was relieved and thought that she would help me with that. So, I decided to focus on baking and customer service instead of cleaning tables around her. She sat there for a long time, and then she took some of the cups and dishes from her own table, brought them in to me… and left!

I was disappointed but kept going. The day ended. I was exhausted but very proud of myself.

The next day, [Family Member #1] called me. I was expecting that she would thank me, but instead, she said:

Family Member #1: “[Family Member #2] was disappointed that you had not cleaned the tables better.”

Me: “I was doing the work of two or three people by myself. All day.”

Family Member #1: “That’s no excuse.”

The lesson I learned: don’t work too hard; you will not be thanked for it anyway. Also, time to find a new job.

The lesson she should have learned but never did: it is not easy to replace hard-working people! When your staff is going above and beyond to keep your business running, the least you should do is say thank you. That might be the difference between keeping them or losing them.

Two middle-aged women come up to my counter and order their drinks. After ringing them up, I tell them their total.

Customer: “We’re going to wait for our friend to pay.”

Me: “That’s perfectly fine. Your drinks will be waiting for you when you’re ready.”

I finish making their order pretty quickly and place their drinks by the register. Five minutes pass, and they come up to me.

Customer: “Are our drinks done yet?”

Me: “Yes, we’ve just been waiting for them to be paid for.”

Customer: *Flipping out* “We were just planning on taking the drinks and then coming back and paying with our friend!”

So, essentially, they wanted me to give them free drinks and trust that they’d come back to pay. I do not think so.