| IL, USA | Working | March 4, 2016

(This occurs in the drive-thru of a well-known coffee chain. I am in another town for work, and I have never been to this location before.)

Me: “Hi. Can I get a [Coffee Drink] with skim milk and no sugar, please?”

Employee: “We don’t have skim milk here.”

Me: “…Are you sure? I order skim milk at the [Hometown] store all of the time.”

Employee: “No, all we have is regular milk.”

Me: “All right. If there’s no skim milk then I guess I’ll just have a [Coffee Drink] with regular milk and no sugar.”

Employee: “Okay.” *pauses* “We do have fat free milk, though. Would you rather have that instead?”

Me: “Um… yes. That would be great.”

(For the record, he put sugar in my coffee.)

Third Drink, Second Day, First-Class A**-Hole

| Westlock, AB, Canada | Right | February 27, 2016

(A very popular and well-known coffee chain had finally opened up in town. I visited on its second day. Needless to say, the place is packed, and since all the employees are newly hired, they’re doing their darndest to keep up. The customer ahead of me decides his coffee isn’t to his liking for the third time, berates the clerk for a third time, and sends back his coffee a third time. While the clerk goes to remake his coffee yet again, he turns to me.)

Customer: “Is it me, or is this the worst [Coffee Chain] you’ve ever been to?”

Me: “Well, it is just their second day.”

Customer: “What, the clerk? Well, then, d***, they’ve got to start training them better.”

Me: “Not the clerk. This is the second day ever for the whole store.”

Customer: “Really? Wow, that would explain why I never saw it before today…”

(When the clerk came back with the coffee, the customer quickly apologized, paid, and hustled out the door.)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 2

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Working | February 22, 2016

(On impulse, I go to a national chain coffee place during my lunch break. It’s busy, but to my relief there’s almost no line when I get in. The customer in front of me gives a complex order, during which time I pick up one of the holiday-themed reusable cups beside me because I think they’re cute.)

Me: “A venti latte, decaf, please, and also this cup.”

Barista: *takes cup, calling out to her coworker, Barista #2* “Can we do the chai tea latte in decaf?”

Me: “Oh, no, I asked for a venti decaf latte.”

Barista: “Okay, with soy?”

Me: “Um, no. Dairy milk, please.”

Barista: “Sorry, I keep expecting a complex order.”

Me: *smiling* “I’m a very simple person.”

Barista: “Okay, a decaf venti latte, minus the discount for the reusable cup… What’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [My Name]. Um, please make sure you charge me for the cup? I just picked it up over there.”

Barista: “Okay.”

(Which she does, and I go over to the pick up window. Getting the latte is faster than ordering it.)

Barista #2: “Okay, vanilla latte for [My Name]!”

(I give up and end up taking the drink, as a line is forming at the register and I have to get back to work. I feel sorry for the first barista – it had obviously been a very long day for her!)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again

Just Plain Stealing

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | February 18, 2016

(I am second in line at a coffee shop counter.)

Customer: “Can I please get a plain coffee, medium?”

Barista: “Sure, that’ll be [low amount].”

(The customer moves over and I am next.)

Me: “Medium pumpkin spice latte.”

(The barista takes my $5 or so and I move over with the first customer. She is standing really close to the place where the barista drops off the drink, hovering over the counter. I stand farther back to allow people to move between us to get to the seating area. Several minutes go by and the girl ahead of me leaves with a drink. I wait longer, noticing people behind me are getting their drinks before me.)

Me: *to barista making coffees* “Hello, I was wondering if you’ve made a medium pumpkin spice latte yet? I’ve been waiting for almost ten minutes.”

Barista #2: “Yes, I put that out a while ago. Is this drink not yours?”

(He gestured to the counter where a plain coffee was sitting. Apparently that girl deliberately ordered a cheap drink and stole the more expensive one when it came up so she didn’t have to pay full price.)

Tipped To Be The Worst Customer Of The Day

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Right | February 14, 2016

(I’ve only be on the floor for half-an-hour when a woman enters the line from the wrong way.)

Me: “Hi there! How are you today?”

Woman: “How much is a small coffee?”

Me: “It’s 1.94.”

Woman: “Anything cheaper?”

Me: “We can do 1.84?”

Woman: *throws a handful of change onto the counter* “You don’t mind if I borrow from here?” *she starts pulling money out of our tip jar*

Me: “Sorry, you can’t do that; I can’t allow you to, since it’s for all of the girls here!”

Woman: “It’s just fifty cents!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I really can’t!” *this is considered stealing from the company; we normally don’t argue over five cents but more then ten and I tend to say no*

Woman: *as I lean to grab something* “You’re a real b****.”

Me: *ignoring her, despite being very hurt and insulted* “Would you still like the coffee?”

Woman: “Fine.” *pulls out a twenty dollar bill, still muttering*

Me: *fills her a short coffee cup*

(She proceeds to grab this cup and storm off, only to come back while I’m in the middle of my next transaction.)

Woman: “I need more coffee!” *it’s obvious she’s taken a few huge gulps, but I ignore it and fill it back up. She leaves again only to interrupt my next transaction* “I need honey!”

Me: “You’ll just find it on the back bar there!”

Woman: “There isn’t any!”

Me: *as I can see if from across the room* “Ma’am, it’s just in the metal cylinder on the side there!” *she finally properly leaves, the next woman just looks at me*

Woman #2: “Are you okay?”

Me: *smiling* “I’m all right, thank you.”

(The whole fiasco wouldn’t have been a big deal if she hadn’t pulled out a 20-dollar-bill after asking for money!)

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