This Customer Is Soda-pressing

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I am a barista at a famous, internationally known coffee shop and working at the cash register. The company at the moment only sells coffee-related drinks, ‘frappuccinos,’ teas, and other caffeine/coffee related products for drinks.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am! And what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a ham artisan sandwich.”

Me: “All right, and anything to drink?

Customer: “And I want a diet [Soda].”

Me: *thinking that I misheard her* “I’m sorry, ma’am, what did you say?”

Customer: “I SAID I want a diet [Soda].”

Me: “Oh, um, I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t… carry that here.”

Customer: *looks at me with both eyebrows raised, incredulously* “You don’t carry soda?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: *throws her head back, scoffing* “That’s ridiculous! Fine, then I’ll just have a…” *looks at the menu* “I’ll just have a coffee then.”

Me: “All right, just a coffee? Would you like the medium blend? Or a different brew?” *we have a light, medium, dark, and decaf at the ready right behind me*

Customer: *scoffs again* “Just a coffee! Whatever!”

Me: “All right, one medium coffee. Anything else?”

Customer: “That’s all!” *she looks at her friend/coworker the whole time as if this was all a tiring exchange*

It’s No Use Lying Over Spilt Milk

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a big name coffee chain. This conversation is taking place over headsets; I’m in the back unpacking stock.)

Coworker: “Is it possible to be allergic to milk fat?”

Me: “I don’t know, maybe? Some pretty weird allergies run in my family.”

Coworker: “This customer just asked for a drink made nonfat because she’s allergic to milk fat.”

Me: “Well, if she says there’s an allergy, assume she’s telling the truth.”

Coworker: “And she wants whipped cream on it.”

Me: “…”

No Meat In Their Brain, Part 3

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I’m working the register at a popular coffee shop chain. A woman inspects our breakfast sandwiches for a few minutes before approaching me.)

Customer: “Can I get one of the reduced fat turkey bacon sandwiches?”

Me: “I’m so sorry; we just sold out of those. Is there anything else I can offer you today?”

Customer: “Well, what else do you have that’s vegetarian?”

Related:
No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2
No Meat In Their Brain