If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 3

, | NC, USA | Working | March 22, 2016

(There is a coffee shop on campus, and I often go for tea to keep me awake in class. Since most of the staff are students, there seems to be somebody new every couple weeks. I order a large iced soy chai, but when it’s called the drink is barely off-white. I take a sip, and there is just the faintest hint of tea.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me, but I don’t think you put enough chai in this. It’s usually a lot darker.”

Barista: “Oh, that’s the soy milk. It’s white, so the drink turns out white, too.”

Me: “How much chai did you put in this? I always get it with soy but it’s never been anywhere close to this light.”

Barista: “I just learned this one, and the instructions say to put one pump in the cup, and that is what I did!”

Me: “It’s a twenty-ounce drink. One pump may be enough for a small, but—”

(She snatches the drink off the counter, tips about an inch down the sink, and adds just a little more chai concentrate.)

Barista: *very condescending* “There, sweetie, I added an extra pump just for you. Y’all have a blessed day now, you hear?”

(In the American South, with that particular tone of voice, this is about as polite as you can ask someone to go f*** themselves without swearing, but still make sure they know what you’re thinking. If she wasn’t already making me late for class, I would’ve asked for a manager. My drink continued not to taste very much like chai, but I never saw her again anywhere on campus.)

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 2
If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again

Iced Coffee: Katy Perry Style

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Working | March 18, 2016

(It’s about six am. There is a customer in front of me.)

Customer: “Could I get an iced coffee, please?”

Cashier: “Sure! Would you like that warmed up?”

Customer: “…What?”

Cashier: “Would you like it warmed up?”

Customer: “My iced coffee?”

Cashier: “Yeah, it’s just an option we offer. You don’t have to.”

Customer: “Okay. Um. No, thanks, then.”

Cashier: *puts the order into the cash register* “Oh. Oh, my god. I asked if you wanted your iced coffee warmed up, didn’t I? I meant sweetened.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I thought there was something wrong with ME that I didn’t understand what you were asking!”

Cashier: “It’s so early, man.”

Double Double Trouble

| Canada | Right | March 18, 2016

(I work drive-thru at a popular coffee shop, and for reference, a “double double” is two cream and two sugar. A regular customer comes through the drive-thru and orders her usual, a large double double. When she pulls up to the window the following exchange happens.)

Me: “Hello!”

Regular: “Good morning!”

(I take her money and get ready to hand her the coffee.)

Regular: “Why can’t you order a double double without sugar?”

Me: “Oh, well, double double means double cream and double sugar.”

Regular: “I know. I wish I could get it without the sugar, though. I don’t really like the sugar.”

Me: “Oh! Well, you can order a coffee without sugar in it. Did you want me to do that for you?”

Regular: “But then it wouldn’t be a double double, though.”

Me: *confused* “Err, that’s right…”

(I gave her the coffee and wished her a good day. Somehow I knew there was no winning this one.)

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 26

| TN, USA | Right | March 16, 2016

(I work at a frozen custard and coffee shop. To draw in customers we also offer free wifi.)

Customer: “I’ll get a mocha custard with extra chocolate. And what is a ‘wehfeh?'”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, um, a weefee?” *she points to the sign*

Me: “Oh! Wifi!”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, yes, sure. This says I can get it free?”

Me: “Yep.”

(There’s a long pause while the woman stares at me.)

Customer: *getting a little impatient* “What is it? Okay, is it a smoothie or custard or drink?”

(I’m a little at a loss for words so it takes me a minute to compose my answer.)

Me: “Oh, it’s, you know, it’s Internet. Like wireless Internet?” *the woman starts frowning at me* “For using your laptop or phone in the store.”

Customer: “I want my custard to go.”

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23

This Job Can’t Be Blushed

| NY, USA | Right | March 14, 2016

(I work in a popular coffee shop and am attempting to put together the pump for our mocha sauce. I am grasping the longish metal pipe and am trying to get the other piece to twist in. While struggling with this, one of our regulars comes up to the counter.)

Regular: “Don’t have much experience handling something that big, do you?”

Me: *turns away from him in embarrassment*

Regular: “Oh, gosh, look how red you are.”

Me: *mumbling* “Haha, it’s just my blush.”

(He goes to sit down at a table once I’ve given him his drink. A while later, while on my break, I’m sitting down at the bar eating. On his way out he makes this final remark.)

Regular: “Looks like your blush has worn off.”

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