Will Have To Start Clover

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am a customer waiting to collect my coffee at a popular coffee shop.)

Barista: *setting drink on counter* “I have a latte, for Laura!”

(I reach for my drink, but before I can get to it a man picks it up. I let him, because I’ve been yelled at in the past for taking my drink when someone with the same name and same drink is also waiting for their order. He takes a sip, and spits it out.)

Man: “This is disgusting! It tastes milky; why is this milky?”

Barista: “It’s a latte.”

Man: “No, it’s not. It’s a Clover. You said it was a Clover. I want this remade. And do it right!”

Second Barista: “I have a Clover, for Mike.”

Barista: “Is that one yours?”

Me: *chiming in* “You took my latte.” *to the barista* “I’m sorry; would it be possible for me to have another one made?”

Man: “Well, why the hell didn’t you tell me I was drinking the wrong thing?”

Barista: *drops head onto counter*

O, Canaduh, Part 4

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

(It is a warm day in late June. The customer I am serving has a pronounced American accent.)

Me: “I couldn’t help noticing your accent. Where are you from?”

Customer: “Des Moines. It’s my first time in Canada.”

Me: “What do you think so far?”

Customer: “Well, I was a little shocked when we were flying in, actually.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “I was pretty surprised not to see snow.”

Me: “I think that Iowa and Ontario have a pretty similar climate. Is there snow on the ground there right now?”

Customer: “No, but this is CANADA.”

Related:
O, Canaduh, Part 3
O, Canaduh, Part 2
O, Canaduh

The ‘Mocha Chocolate’ Is Just The Cream On Top

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am a customer in a small local coffee shop next to a hospital. A woman in scrubs acting important cuts in front of me but being early and a regular I let it slide. She starts to order:)

Customer: “Give me a tall grande skinny chocolate mocha frappe soy latte with cream.”

Barista: “What was that order?”

Customer: “Uh…” *repeats something different*

Barista: “What size; we have small and large.”

Customer: “What about tall grande skinny did you not understand?”

Barista: “So that is a large mocha latte with whipped cream?”

Customer: “No, that’s chocolate mocha!”

Barista: “Chocolate and mocha are the same thing.”

(At this point I laugh and the customer turns and glares at me.)

Customer: “Fine, just make it.”

(The barista does so.)

Barista: “Should I close the lid or are you going to add cream?”

Customer: “Why would you ask that?”

Barista: “I wouldn’t want it to spill.”

Customer: “Just give it to me.”

(She pays and leaves, the barista is just shaking his head. I step up trying not to laugh and hand over my travel cup and cash.)

Me: “What in the world was she actually trying to order?”

Barista: “I don’t even know!”