Unfiltered Story #142770

, | Unfiltered | March 7, 2019

(I’m working at a coffee shop. A man in his 60s comes in and I call out a greeting.)

Customer: Hello, you big gorgeous hunk o’ woman.

Me: *stares*

Unfiltered Story #142716

, | Unfiltered | March 5, 2019

(This is a small, locally owned coffee shop. A customer comes in with a couple of very energetic children who are excitedly jabbering back and forth to each other in a normal inside voice. The customer, their father and a regular, orders his drinks, pays and goes to wait with them, joining in their silly word game. A minute later another customer comes up to the bar to get their drink.)

Customer: “You need to kick those noisy brats out of here.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t kick them out for talking. They’re really not being that loud.”
Customer: “And their father, encouraging his kids to talk in public. Disgraceful. You should ban him for that.”
Me: “Ma’am we don’t ban people for entertaining their kids and we don’t kick kids out for talking in a normal tone of voice.”
Customer: (Yelling at me) “Listen you little b****, I’m the owner’s wife and I’m telling you to ban them right f******* now!”
Me: “I can’t…”
Customer: “Don’t you dare open your f****** mouth to argue with me you b***! I’ll have your a** fired.”

(I flinch at the tirade and find myself unable to respond. At this point the father comes up behind her.)

Father: “[My name], get yourself a drink on me and go on break. I’ll handle this. If your boss says anything just say I’ll explain.”

(He turns to the customer as I nod dumbly and turn to make myself a drink.)

Father: “First of all, you don’t treat other human beings like that. If you had any decency I wouldn’t have to tell you that. Second, my kids are being much better behaved than you are. Third, you weren’t even at the owner’s wedding. I was.”

Customer: (Smugly as if calling a bluff) “If you were at the wedding where were you sitting?”

Father: “I was standing right next to her.”

(The customer keeps smiling smugly for a few seconds before realization hits her like a sledgehammer. Her smile falters then she pales visibly and runs from the store. The owner’s husband covered for me for about 10 minutes while I took a break. When I came back there was a $50 bill in the tip jar. He’d never admit to it, but I suspect he put it in there.)

Men Are Stupid

, , , , , | Healthy | February 26, 2019

(I am a male nurse. On my coat is my “Man of Men” pin badge in support of Prostate Cancer UK, since my partner had surgery for prostate cancer in 2018. The badge is of a male stick figure with a smaller male figure within it. Whilst taking my order, a young male barista sees the badge and says:)

Barista: “That badge is really cool; what does it mean?”

Me: “It’s from Prostate Cancer UK. Did you know that it’s the biggest cause of death in men now? Since my partner was diagnosed, I’m keen to support the cause.”

Barista: “Wow… I wonder why it affects so many more men, then?”

Me: “Erm…”

The Cake Is A Cry (For Help)

, , , , , , | Right | February 25, 2019

(I work in a nationwide coffee chain and our store is right in the middle of a shopping centre, so we are quite exposed to anyone walking past. I’m clearing the tables as it’s quiet, and a friend of my parents walks past, so we stop and talk for a moment. He has a reputation to anyone who knows him to be extremely cheap, like turning up at someone’s house at dinner time, hoping to get a free meal, instead of cooking himself.)

Me: “Anyway, best get moving. Lots of work to do.”

(I raise the pile of dirty cups, trays, plates etc. in my hands.)

Friend: “Okay.” *spots piece of half-eaten cake on a plate* “Can’t let that go to waste.”

(He swipes the cake and walks off, eating it as he goes.)

Coworker: “Did he just do what I thought he did?”

Me: “I really wish I could say he didn’t. I knew he was tight, but d***!”

(We both shuddered at the thought. How could someone not only eat someone else’s half-eaten piece of cake, but also a complete strangers’ without knowing what they might have done to it, what germs had gotten on it, how fresh it was…)

Doesn’t Get How References Work

, , , , | Working | February 25, 2019

(I am a store manager at a coffee chain. Our employees are hired by a separate HR and recruiting department. I need new people so they send me twenty-year-old who has passed the interview process and seems eager to start working. I tell her the basics, give her her shifts for the next four weeks — in Finland you are required to give employees their shift lists quite early, so they can plan their lives outside of work: childcare, studies, hobbies, etc. — and start training her. Training lasts two shifts and goes okay. After those two first shifts, she stops coming to work. She does not show up for her next shift and does not answer her phone or emails. After a week and five missed shifts, I decide to email her and let her know that, since she was on her trial period and had not given any explanation for her absence, she is fired. A week after the email she shows up for work as if nothing happened and asks where her apron is. I ask her to come to my office.)

Me: “Did you not see my email or the message I sent to your phone? You failed to show up on your shifts for weeks — shifts that you agreed to take, by the way — and did not answer your phone for over a week, so I’m terminating our contract. You are no longer employed here.”

New Starter: “Come oooon! I’m sorry, okay, but I was so busy with, like, studies and other stuff and did not have time to come to work. I have time now, so I can work the rest of my shifts this month. It’s not that serious. You are a student, too; you should know what it’s like when you are busy. You can’t just fire me!”

(But I can and I do, even though she kicks up a fuss, seems to think it’s super unfair, and even threatens to spam our Facebook with bad reviews. Fast forward five months: I get a call from a recruiter for another coffee chain.)

Recruiter: “Did you have an employee called [New Starter] working for you?”

Me: “Oh, her. Yes, we did. Why?”

Recruiter: “Well, we are considering hiring her and she used you as a reference on her CV. She said she worked for you for four months; is that accurate?”

(The effing bonehead had actually used me as her only CV reference, with the right phone number and everything, and made up a work history where she was an appreciated member of our team, a reliable worker, and a customer service specialist. I had fun correcting these mistakes, and I do not think she got the job at the other coffee chain after I told them about her work ethics. Lying on your CV is a delicate skill, people, and HR actually does occasionally check the references.)

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