Comes Into Work And Phones It In

, , , , , , | Working | July 20, 2018

(One day, I’m with my coworker who has a reputation for being really spoiled. His mom buys him everything he wants, and the only reason he has this job is because his dad forced him to get it. The day we’re assigned to work a shift together, he comes in late, helps one customer, and goes on a scheduled break.)

Me: “[Coworker]?”

Coworker: “What?”

Me: “What’re you doing?”

Coworker: “I’m taking my break. Duh.”

Me: “Maybe you could give me a hand? It’s really busy, and I’ve been doing all the work this morning.”

Coworker:  “No f****** way. I’m on my break.”

(I give up because there are customer waiting. Less than thirty minutes later, my manager walks in. She looks at my coworker, then at the line, and orders him to start working. He rolls his eyes, but starts helping… with all the simplest jobs. Finally, it’s my break, and I head into the break room and look for my phone to text my boyfriend. I can’t find it, and I start freaking out. It’s brand new, and I had to save up for a long time for it. I ask my coworker, and he says he doesn’t know. I search the break room and the cash register, and then go to talk to the manager. She knows I’m honest and never misplace things that important, since I’ve been working there for three years, so she says she’ll contact the security people, and look at the camera footage, but in the meantime I should head back to work. I do, and near the end of my shift, she approaches my coworker and me. She drags us into the break room, since there’s only two or three people in the shop.)

Manager: “[Coworker]… return [My Name]’s phone.”

Coworker: “I don’t have it!”

(The manager glares daggers, turns, and heads to his coat that’s hanging up on a hook. She digs in his pocket and, lo and behold, my phone’s there.)

Coworker: “That’s my f****** phone!”

Me: “No, it’s not; that’s my case.”

Coworker: “She’s lying!”

Me: “Then unlock it.”

Coworker: “Fine!” *snatches it and enters random numbers* “It’s not unlocking; something is probably wrong with it.”

(I yank it out of his hand, unlock it easily, and show the home screen to the manager: a photo of me with my boyfriend and our cat.)

Coworker: “SHE FRAMED ME!”

(Somehow, he didn’t get fired, and ACTUALLY HAD THE NERVE TO HIT ON ME TWO DAYS LATER.)


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Pumping Them For Information

, , , , | Right | July 19, 2018

(I’ve been working at a popular coffee shop for a month or so. I work with my best friend who is extremely nice and doesn’t have a bad bone in her body. This weekend our town has our parade, town activities, a baseball tournament, and a softball tournament. Naturally, it has been really busy. We have one customer, though, who doesn’t care about that and gives us a lot of h***.)

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get started for you?”

(The lady orders two easy drinks that I could make in my sleep.)

Me: “I’ll have your total at the window.”

(The lady pulls up and I let my friend cash her out while I make the drinks. I suddenly hear yelling from the lady.)

Customer: “My daughter—” *who is in the car* “—works at [Coffee Shop] in [Other Town], and we got a 35% discount here last week.”

(We don’t have a 35% discount.)

Friend: “I can give you a 25%, but I’m not supposed to.”

Customer: “Fine. This is awful service. I’m also paying with a gift card.”

(The lady hands my friend the card. Instead of pressing redeem, though, she presses reload and five dollars. My friend realizes the mistake and tells the lady what happened. The lady will have to pay five dollars on her credit card, and then we can use the gift card. She refuses.)

Customer: “Are you serious? How do you even mess up that much? You’re so incompetent.”

(My friend is on the verge of tears, and we end up letting the lady leave. We end up paying the five dollars, so she gets five dollars on her gift card from us, and two free drinks. Ten minutes later:)

Me: “[Friend], that lady is coming inside.”

Customer: “My [super easy drink] is made wrong. There isn’t any caramel in it.”

(I am tired of this lady and we just got slammed.)

Me: “I know I put caramel in this.”

Customer: “You obviously didn’t. If you can’t handle this, we’re going to have a problem, and you shouldn’t be working here.”

Friend: “I’m so sorry. We’ll remake the drinks for you.”

Customer’s Daughter: “I hope you do. And we should get them free.”

(Now I’m pissed. They want four free drinks out of us, when we never messed up. I remake her caramel drink as she watches me like a hawk. As I put the whipped cream in, I reach for a lid to have it there.)

Customer: “DON’T YOU DARE FORGET THE DRIZZLE!”

(Her daughter is right there, so I ask a question.)

Me: “You work here. How many pumps of caramel should I put in here for a large?”

(The girl stutters around.)

Customer’s Daughter: “Like six?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ASK HER THAT QUESTION?!”

Me: “It’s 2.75 pumps of caramel. Please leave. You got two free drinks out of us, and now you’re scamming for two more. I’m not dealing with that today.”

Customer: “SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT!”

Me: “We all take a quiz after training. She should automatically know how much goes in, seeing as it’s a specialty drink.”

(The lady grabbed her daughter and left. She came back the next day and tried to start more crap. Luckily, my manager was there and didn’t take it.)

Entitlement Bred From Good Intentions

, , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(I’m picking up a coffee with my three-month-old daughter. I’ve noticed the woman in front has had multiple cards declined to pay for her drink. Tired, and with a hungry baby, I offer to pay for her just so I can get my coffee.)

Customer: “I don’t know why your f****** machine won’t take my cards!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but it’s not the machine. There’s a cash point outside if you’d like to try there.”

Customer: “No! No, that’s just not going to work! I need my coffee!”

Me: *to cashier* “Excuse me, can I pay for her order? Can I get a black tea, too, please?” *to customer* “Don’t worry. We all have days like this.”

Customer: “Fine. Hurry up, I haven’t got all g**d*** day!”

Cashier: *helpless shrug* “Thanks.”

(I get my drink and sit down to feed my daughter. Barely two minutes later, the customer looms over us.)

Customer: “ I want a cookie.”

Me: “Uh… What?”

Customer: “I wanted a cookie; you need to pay for it.” *gestures to the cash desk where the same cashier is looking embarrassed and helpless*

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, but I’m feeding at the moment. Besides, the cashier said there’s an ATM outside; try there.”

Customer: “Don’t be such a b****. It’s only £2! Give me your card and I’ll do it myself, if you’re going to be like that!”

Me: “Seriously?! You’re going to swear at me right now whilst I’ve got my t**s out feeding my baby?! You need to back off and enjoy the coffee you never bothered thanking me for in the first place!”

Customer: “Well, there’s no need to be such a b**** about it!” *to cashier* “Aren’t you going to say something about this?!”

Cashier: “No, miss, I’d really better not. You might want to leave before you are removed.”

(The customer stormed out of the coffee shop, barging into an elderly lady in the process and spilling her drink all over the floor. Not a total loss for me, though; the cashier brought me a cookie for free!)


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Putting The Tuna Into Unfortunate

, , , , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(For a brief span of time my cafe served a full menu of food items for breakfast and lunch. Since then we have discontinued the menu, but during the time we had it, every so often a person would come in and be very interested in the ingredients of our very simple fare. All ingredients are listed in three different places in plain sight, on boards and on physical handheld menus. A woman walks in and looks over the menu with her friend close behind her. She reads over the ingredients of a tuna melt sandwich and chats with her friend about meat. Apparently, she is vegan and is unsure what she wants to order. After about three minutes, I ask her if she knows what she would like to get.)

Customer: “I am thinking of ordering the tuna melt; is it vegan? Because I absolutely cannot have cheese as a vegan.”

Me: “I am sorry; are you asking me if the sandwich has meat in it? Because it certainly has fish in it.”

Customer: “No, I just want to know about the cheese. I am a very strict vegan, and need to know exactly what is in this sandwich.”

Me: *not sure how to respond* “Yes, it has cheese in it, but it also has fish.”

Customer: “BUT THE CHEESE! Just for love of God, does it have cheese? Don’t you know what a vegan is? I cannot have cheese at all!”

Me: “Yes, it has cheese in it, but it also has fish. It is marked as not vegan, or even potentially vegetarian on the menu. Perhaps you would be interested in one of the other items that boast no animal products of any type.”

Customer: *starts to get angry* “Are you even listening to me? I said I am V-E-G-A-N. Cheese is the issue.”

Me: “Yes, it has cheese on it. However, we cannot serve you vegan tuna, as it does not exist in the way you might think it does. But you are more than welcome to order it sans cheese.”

Customer: “This is so insulting! I will never come here again!”

(Her friend chimes in:)

Customer’s Friend: “How dare you question her vegan lifestyle? I was told this place accommodates vegan options!”

Me: “Look, lady, fish isn’t vegan, and neither is cheese. I really don’t want you to get sick over ordering food that you have said you absolutely can’t have, but I can’t make something that is meat not meat. Fish is not vegan.”

Customer: “This is an awful place; I should be able to get vegan food!”

(She stormed out. My tone of voice up until the end was very confused, trying to figure out if I was hearing her correctly. She legitimately wanted a vegan tuna sandwich.)

When Life Gives You No Lemons…

, , , , , | Right | July 11, 2018

(In our store, we make lemonade from scratch — we actually juice real lemons — so when we run out of lemonade, if there is a rush, we can’t make more right away. A couple comes in. The man orders an Arnold Palmer, which is half iced tea, half lemonade. I make it, using the last of the lemonade we have.)

Me: “Here you go! Anything else?”

Man: “Nothing for me. Anything for you, sweetie?”

Woman: “Can I have a raspberry lemonade?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we’re out of lemonade right now; he got the last of it. Can I get you something else?”

Woman: “Um, how about a plain lemonade?”

Me: “I apologize, but we’re out of lemonade; he got the last of it in his drink.” *points to man’s drink* “Is there anything else you might want?”

Woman: *pondering hard* “Well… do you guys make frozen lemonade, you know, like a slushie?”

Me: “…”

Man: “Oh, my God.”

Woman: “What?”

Man: “They’re out of lemonade!”

Woman: “Well, she could have said something! Geez!”

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