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Has A Latte Demands

| VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I manage a small cafe & coffee shop in a VERY small town that happens to be close to the interstate and several universities. As such, we get a fair amount of tourist traffic, especially from the motel across the street. One early morning, when only I and a fairly new coworker are in the cafe, we notice two women, mother and adult daughter, walking over from the motel.)

Coworker: “Good morning! How can we help you today?”

Older Woman: *looks around at our tables and coffee station while her daughter stays blocking the door* “Do you have food here?”

Coworker: “Yes, we do! Our menus are right here, and we have some specials on the board over here…”

Older Woman: *interrupting* “Do you have a chai latte?”

Coworker: “Um, I don’t think so…” *looks at me for help*

Me: “Good morning! I’m afraid we don’t have lattes, as we don’t have an espresso machine or a steamer for milk. We’ve got locally roasted coffee and loose leaf teas, though.”

Older Woman: “But you don’t have a chai latte.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Older Woman: “Could you make one anyway?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We don’t have the right kind of tea. Our teas are all from China and are unflavored.”

Older Woman: “Well, the only reason I walked all the way here from the motel was to get a chai latte.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any chai type tea.”

Older Woman: *makes a sour face* “Well, did you ever think about GETTING chai?” *stares at me with expectant glare*

Me: *blinks a few times*

Daughter: “Mom, let’s just go. There’s probably a [Worldwide Coffee Chain] somewhere near here.”

(They leave.)

Coworker: “Did she expect us to go out and buy some, just for her?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, she did.”

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The Icy Wastes

| MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a popular coffee shop. We carry both iced and hot drinks, with the hot drinks being in white, opaque cups, and the iced drinks being in plastic, transparent cups. The ice is clearly visible through the plastic. Two older women approach the counter together.)

Woman #1: “I’d like a small, iced coffee, please.”

Me: “Sure!”

(I make her coffee, CLEARLY ICED; she pays and finds a seat.)

Woman #2: “I want the same thing as her.”

Me: “No problem! Exactly like hers? A small, iced coffee, black, correct?”

Woman #2: “Yes, please, dear!”

(I make her coffee and bring it back to her. She pays and seems okay with it, until she goes to pick it up.)

Woman #2: “Oh, honey, I didn’t say anything about it being cold! This is icy!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I thought you wanted an iced coffee, exactly like your friend.”

Woman #2: “No, I HATE iced coffee!”

Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll make you a new one right away.”

Woman #2: “No, no, no, I don’t want you to waste it! Just put it in the microwave for me to warm it up!”

(We do not have a microwave in the store, only ovens, and even if we did, you’re not supposed to put plastic into a microwave.)

Me: “It’s no problem. I’ll make you a new one; it won’t take long.”

Woman #2: “No! Just put it in the microwave! I don’t want to waste it!”

Me: *face-palming* “Okay, ma’am.”

Woman #2: “Teens these days, wasting everything! When I was a girl, it was a SIN to put something perfectly good to waste!”

Me: *internally* “I wouldn’t HAVE to waste it if you had ordered correctly in the first place!”

(I end up just making her a completely new, hot coffee.)

Woman #2: “This is the same coffee, RIGHT?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Have a good night.”

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This Customer Has A Drink Problem

, | Charlotte, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I’ve been working at a local coffee shop/cafe for about six months. Even though I have met most of the regular customers, I still have not met ALL of them. I am working with one of our new employees when this exchange occurs.)

Coworker: “Hey, who is Carol?”

Me: “Who?”

Coworker: “This man at the counter says he wants Carol’s regular.”

(I go up to the counter to see who the customer is. Sometimes I can recognize them and know what drinks they get. This man is unfamiliar to me, so I smile as I approach the counter.)

Me: “Hello there! Would you mind telling me what Carol usually gets? I don’t think I’ve made her drink before.”

(At this point, the man looks offended, like I insulted him or something, and says this to me:)

Customer: *rude/ sarcastic tone* “Well. Usually when I come here and ask for Carol’s drink, they KNOW what she gets and I don’t have to tell them. The just have it ready.”

Me: “Well, I’m still fairly new and I haven’t met everybody yet. I haven’t met Carol before.”

(He grumbled at me, and because he didn’t know what Carol’s drink was, he called her. The kicker — she didn’t know either!)

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That Exchange Didn’t Go Down The Toilet

| Abbotsford, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I am working at a well known coffee shop in a local mall. Just before closing I am cleaning the bathrooms. One is out of order and I have just soaked the other bathroom with bleach when an older couple and their grandson walk up.)

Grandfather: “He needs to use the bathroom right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but one of our washrooms is out of order at the moment. I’ve just soaked this washroom in bleach but if you give me a couple moments I will have it available for use.”

Grandmother: “NO. He needs to use it right now. It is an emergency.”

Me: “If that is the case there is another set of washrooms just across the food courts that is open.”

Grandmother: “That won’t work. He needs THIS washroom RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I just need a moment to wipe the washroom down. It is covered in chemicals that could burn his skin if I let him use it right now.”

Grandfather: “Enough of this. You are lying to us. You just don’t want to let him use the bathroom!”

Me: “I’m sorry but I’m not lying. I am trying to clean this bathroom and in the time we have spent arguing I could have had the bathroom clean and ready for him to use.”

(At this point the couple and their grandson stormed off and I went about cleaning the washroom. A moment later the same couple came up and I saw the little boy peeing in a coffee cup. Once he was done, the grandfather wordlessly but smugly handed the cup to me. I was so taken aback I just stood there in shock holding a large cup full of this boys pee!)

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A Bad Reaction To The Question

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(One of the most common substitutions I do is swapping out dairy for soy milk. Most of the time it’s just a taste preference, but it can also be because of allergy. The customer here is about ten or eleven, with a number of other kids around.)

Girl: “…and can I have my milkshake with soy milk? I’m very allergic to dairy.”

Me: “Sure, that’s not a problem. We even have a separate blender, okay?”

Girl: “Oh, good, thanks!”

(A minute later, as I’m handing off her drink:)

Girl: “Wait, can I get whipped cream on mine?”

Me: “Sorry, I— You said you have a dairy allergy? The whipped cream is made from milk.”

Girl: “No, it’s not! It’s whipped CREAM, not milk!”

Me: *thinking quickly* “Is your mom or dad here with you?”

Girl: “Yeah, why?”

Me: “If they say it’s okay, I’ll put whipped cream on your milkshake.”

(A few minutes later, with her mother:)

Girl’s Mom: “Why would you embarrass her in front of her friends like that? That was cruel of you to do!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I didn’t want to give her anything that might make her sick.”

Girl’s Mom: “Well, she swells up and stops breathing, but she’s got an Epi-Pen for that. I just can’t believe you would humiliate my daughter. It’s hard enough for her to have allergies. You need to be more sensitive!”

(This went on for about five minutes. The girl’s friends didn’t notice a thing until her mother started carrying on. Best part? I’m also allergic to dairy, and generally consider airways closing up a lot more embarrassing than checking with my mom!)

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