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Scammers Never Take A Holiday

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

Customer: “Hi, can I get [Popular Holiday Beverage]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s only available during the holiday season. Can I get you something else?”

Customer: “Well, since you’re out of what I want, can I get some of those free drink coupons you give out?”

Me: “No, sir, literally no one has [Popular Holiday Beverage] right now. It’s April.”

Customer: *scanning menu board* “What about [Item he thinks sounds obscure]?”

Me: “It’s available in half pounds right here, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want that. I just hoped you’d give me some coupons ’cause you probably didn’t have it.”

(After he leaves:)

Coworker: “That’s like ordering a pony at McDonald’s, and demanding free stuff because they don’t have it. What the h***?”

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Not A Latte Sense

| Casselton, ND, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “I want a hazelnut cappuccino.”

Me: “Okay, just to be sure, did you want a latte or a cappuccino? Cappuccinos have less milk and more foam.”

Customer: *usually with a look of pure smugness* “No, I want a cappuccino.”

(I make their drink with all the extra foam. It is served in the same size cups as the lattes.)

Customer: “Excuse me! This was only like two mouthfuls! Why wasn’t my drink full?”

Me: “As I mentioned, cappuccinos are made with less milk and more foam. Lattes, however, are made with the cup filled with steamed milk.”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted a latte.”

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A Lack Of Foreign Policy

| Canada | Canada, Popular

(I work at a coffee shop in an area frequented by tourists. We are well aware that some foreign cash/debit cards are not accepted. Lady orders coffee and tries to pay with a US debit card. The card is declined twice.)

Lady: *to her friend* “I don’t understand. I just checked my account!”

Me: “Is it a foreign card? Foreign debit cards are usually not accepted.”

Lady: “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Are you sure? I’ve never seen this bank name before.”

Lady: “It’s NOT foreign. It’s American!”

Me: “You do know that America is a foreign country for everyone outside of it?”

Lady: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

(Her friend then explained to her that Canada and the USA are different countries and suggested she use her credit card instead.)

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Children Of The Corn Sandwich

| USA | Bizarre

(I’m working at a coffee shop in a larger department store. We have a problem customer who comes in multiple time a day on weekends. He’s not aggressive, but he’s usually high.)

Customer: “How much are those sandwiches?”

Me: “Most of our sandwiches are $6.84.”

Customer: “I don’t want anyone to know. Those kids, they know I’m buying sandwiches. They always know.”

(There are no children present.)

Me: *getting confused* “We put the sandwich in a bag.”

Customer: “No, the kids always know. They’re very smart. What if I get a gift card? Then they won’t know! Give me a gift card for the sandwich.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $6.84. Would you like anything else?”

Customer: “Are you sure they won’t know? I don’t want the kids to know about my sandwich.”

Me: “Uh, no, I don’t think they’ll know about it.”

(He bought a gift card for the exact price of the sandwich, and then used it to pay for his sandwich, all while going on about “the kids always know.”)

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “Weed. That was about weed.”

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It’s My Party, I Can Pump If I Want To

| VA, USA | Food & Drink, Popular

(I volunteer at a non-profit coffee shop and am one of the only few people that run the register.)

Me: “Hi, what can we get for you today?”

Woman: “Yes, I’d like your [Caramel Blended Drink] with five extra pumps of caramel in it.”

Me: “Um, okay. You would like five extra pumps of caramel in it?”

Woman: “Yes, that’s correct.”

Me: *in disbelief* “We already make it with three, so you want it with an additional five?”

Woman: “Yes, I guess I’m saying I would like eight pumps in it.” *laughs* “It’s my birthday so I can do what I want.”

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