A-Salted By The Odd Request

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(After getting his coffee and some food, a customer approaches the counter.)

Customer: “Do you have any salt?”

Me: *checking to see if I heard him correctly* “Salt?”

Customer: *enunciating every syllable like I’m an idiot* “Sodium chloride, do you have it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t.”

Customer: “F***ing h***!”

(He then proceeds to ask two of my coworkers the same question, receiving the same response and swearing at them as well. Fortunately he didn’t start anything but I informed the manager we need to buy some, if only to spread it outside the door and keep him away.)

Cafe Au Lame

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: *yells from the milk counter, on the other side of the café* “EXCUSE ME! I ORDERED A CAFE AU LAIT!”

Me: *walking over to avoid yelling* “Yes, sir! With skim milk. That’s what I made you.”

Customer: *shows me the cup* “There’s no milk in here.”

(There’s a nice thick layer of creamy milk foam clearly visible at the top of the drink, as is usual for a cafe au lait.)

Me: “I definitely put milk in there. I steamed it myself.”

Customer: “There’s no milk in here! Look at this!”

(He proceeds to dump the coffee into our trash can, trying to illustrate that the color of the drink is too dark.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what the complaint is. I prepared a cafe au lait with skim. You can clearly see the milk in the drink. I’ll happily remake your drink if you’re unsatisfied, but I need to understand what about the drink is wrong so that I can fix it.”

Customer: “How much milk did you put in here?”

Me: “About a third.”

Customer: “Well it doesn’t look like it!” *gesturing to an empty cup, since he’s dumped his drink in the trash*

(I remake him his drink exactly the same as I had made the first one, this time placing the cup of coffee on the bar, and demonstrating how much milk I am pouring into it.)

Customer: “Now that’s a cafe au lait. Was this so hard?”

(Yes. Yes it was.)

Would Have Been Ice To Know

| USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(My coworker just finished making a drink for this woman who had been watching her intently the whole time and is handing it to the customer at the end of the bar.)

Coworker: “Here is your drink!”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted that iced.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, just so you know, that is important to say when you order your drink.”

Like, Soy Annoying

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am making several drinks during a rush when I hear a loud “HELLO” from behind me, at the register.)

Me: “Just a moment!”

(I hand the drinks to the appropriate customers, and then turn back to the girl standing at the register with an off-putting smile on her face. )

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Hi”

Me: “What can I get you?”

Customer: “Just a… mocha… soyyy.”

Me: “All right, anything else for ya?”

(The customer looks at me like I just asked the most obvious question:)

Customer: “Yeaaaah. Do you have anything, like, I dunno, hazelnut?”

Me: “Yes. Today we’re brewing a hazelnut flavored coffee, or I can add hazelnut to an iced coffee, or a latte.”

Customer: “…Anything else?”

Me: “Umm, I can make it frozen, iced, hot… What would you like?”

Customer: “I’m just asking what you have.”

Me: “Okay, we also have a ‘german mocha’ which has caramel, hazelnut, coconut, and mocha! Or—”

Customer: “Just give me a super brewed coffee.”

Me: “All right!”

(I hand her the 24oz cup, ring it up, and hit the button which allows credit card transactions. She’s kind of staring at me blankly.)

Me: “And did you still want the mocha?”

Customer: “I already said that, with soy!”

Me: “Yes, okay, the soy mocha latte. Did you want it hot?”

Customer: “Uh… yeah.” *like I’m a huge idiot*

Me: “And what size?”

Customer: “Super! I already said super! You should know this!”

Me: “I’m sorry. So the super coffee and the soy mocha. That’ll be $7.46. If you just wait one—”

(I had to cancel out the transaction which was currently only going to process $2.22 for the drip coffee, so that I could combine the total and the customer would only have to swipe once. However, she didn’t listen when I asked her to wait one moment, soo….)

Me: “Okay, I’m going to have to ask you to swipe once more for the latte.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I’m not paying twice. I already swiped my card!”

Me: “Yes, but you only paid for the coffee. I tried to tell you.”

Customer: “Why did you do that? Why are you charging me twice. I’m not swiping again.”

Me: “Ma’am, you only paid $2.22. Here is your receipt.”

(The customer glances at it.)

Customer: “I’m going to need my mocha soy! I need it! I’m not swiping again. I ain’t paying twice. You’re going to give me my mocha.”

Me: “You’ll get your mocha if you pay for your mocha.”

(The customer finally swipes her card again. I print out the receipt and just as she starts to yell at me for it I push it towards her. I am met by screaming.)

Customer: “You charged me twice! What did you do! You should have put them together! Give me my money back!”

Me: “Look at the receipts; I did not charge you twice.”

Customer: “Are you going to make my mocha?”

Me: “Yep.”

(I grab a cup, move away from the register and she yells at me “That’s a MOCHA SOY!” I grit my teeth, make it real quick, still take the time to make a pretty looking drink, then hand it back to her. She looks at it, then looks at me.)

Customer: “Did you tamper with my drink?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “WHAT?! You did, didn’t you?!”

(I’m completely dumbfounded, I was gone about 30 seconds, and you can SEE where I was standing from the register.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you, f***** spitting in my mocha.”

(She finally moves away from the register, leaving me positively fuming with anger.)

Espresso On Expresso

| MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work for a coffee shop franchise where the goal is to get the customer their drive-thru order in one minute or less, from the time they order at the menu board to handing it out the window.)

Me: “Welcome, what can I get started for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just need this drink really fast… Can you just make me a really fast small iced mocha?”

Me: “I sure can. Would you like any extra shots of espresso? It only comes with one.”

Customer: “No, I just need it really fast… Oh, and can I get an extra shot?”

Me: *annoyed because she’s wasting her own time* “Sure thing. I’ll see you at the window.”

Customer: *now at the window* “How much is it?”

(I give her the total, which was something like $4.03. She begins to rummage around in her purse.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. How much was it?”

(I give her the total again.)

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *pulls out her cup-holder of change* “Um, how much was it?”

(I give her the total for the THIRD time.)

Customer: “Awesome!” *hands me $5*

Customer: *as I begin counting her change* “Could you please hurry? I just need my coffee really fast.”

(I am so done at this point. I hand her the drink, which has been sitting next to me for the last 45 seconds because I’ve been waiting on her.)

Customer: “Thanks!” *peels out driving away*

Me: “…Thanks for the tip?”