The ‘Mocha Chocolate’ Is Just The Cream On Top

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I am a customer in a small local coffee shop next to a hospital. A woman in scrubs acting important cuts in front of me but being early and a regular I let it slide. She starts to order:)

Customer: “Give me a tall grande skinny chocolate mocha frappe soy latte with cream.”

Barista: “What was that order?”

Customer: “Uh…” *repeats something different*

Barista: “What size; we have small and large.”

Customer: “What about tall grande skinny did you not understand?”

Barista: “So that is a large mocha latte with whipped cream?”

Customer: “No, that’s chocolate mocha!”

Barista: “Chocolate and mocha are the same thing.”

(At this point I laugh and the customer turns and glares at me.)

Customer: “Fine, just make it.”

(The barista does so.)

Barista: “Should I close the lid or are you going to add cream?”

Customer: “Why would you ask that?”

Barista: “I wouldn’t want it to spill.”

Customer: “Just give it to me.”

(She pays and leaves, the barista is just shaking his head. I step up trying not to laugh and hand over my travel cup and cash.)

Me: “What in the world was she actually trying to order?”

Barista: “I don’t even know!”

Armed And Dangerous

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I don’t normally work at our store’s other location, but because of the holidays we are short-staffed all-around and I need to fill in. The one coworker working with me today is on break, and I am taking orders, making food, and making espresso drinks as fast as I can.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me! We’ve been waiting forEVER for our drinks!”

Me: *looking up from the line of five sandwiches I am currently making* “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I know it’s taking a bit long but I promise it’ll be up soon.”

Customer #1: “God! I hate coming here. You kids are so incompetent!”

(Customer #2, a regular at both of our stores, steps forward.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, how many of you are there back there?”

Me: *thinking I’m gonna hear it from him, too* “Just me for right now.”

Customer #2: “And how many arms do you have?”

Me: “…Just the two?”

Customer #2: *looking at [Customer #1]* “Ah, well that explains it.”

(Customer #1 gets a mean look on her face and marches back to her table.)

Me: *whispering* “You’re so cool…”

(Customer #2 definitely got his usual latte on me that day!)

Not Quite Feeling It

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “Large latte to go.”

(Well, I was feeling large latte to go that day, too.)