(It is my first day of work. I worked for this particular coffee store once before, quit, and have come back. While it has been a long time since I worked there I still remember how to make drinks. An order is placed for an iced latte and I make it then hand it out to the customer.)

Me: “There you are! Have a great day!”

Customer: “That’s wrong.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You made it wrong. There’s too much milk.”

Me: “Well, an iced latte is one shot of espresso and the rest is filled with milk and any flavoring.”

Customer: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “I can remake it for you if you’d like.”

Customer: “Obviously.”

(I begin remaking the drink with my shift leader watching me in case I did indeed mess up. The customer leans over the counter and begins watching me as well. I ask the customer if they want more espresso and they say no so I decide to add more ice so there’s less milk and the drink is still full.)

Customer: “That’s too much ice!”

Me: “Did you want less ice?”

Customer: “Yes and that’s still too much milk!”

Me: “Then the drink won’t be full, sir.”

Customer: “Ugh! Well maybe if you made it right!”

(I finally give up and have my shift leader makes it the exact same way I did the first time and hands it to the customer.)

Shift Leader: “How is that?”

Customer: “Finally! It’s made right!”

(The customer then left and stood in the parking lot, drinking their drink. It was beyond frustrating!)

(To ensure speed and accuracy of drink orders we add milk, sugar, and flavors to drinks by using three different machines. Each machine is calibrated to add a certain amount of product per size of drink. For example, and extra small shot of sugar is about 1 teaspoon, a small is 2 teaspoons, and so on. The same goes for the milk/creamer/skim milk machine; therefore, we can’t really do half shots of anything. A customer tells me that she wants a coffee with the smallest shot of skim milk. I make her the coffee and show it to her before putting the lid on.)

Me: “How’s that?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no, no.”

Me: “Would you like more or less milk?”

Customer: “More; that’s not nearly enough.”

(I add a little more milk and bring it back.)

Me: “Is that better?”

Customer: “Oh, no, no. now it’s too light.” *sigh* “But I guess it will do.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. All our machines are calibrated to a certain amount so it’s hard to get it just right sometimes, you know?”

Customer: “I understand. It must be so hard for you to actually make a coffee with something other than cream. It’s hard for you to understand; I get it. I have to keep it simple with you folks so you don’t get all confused.”

(I work at a popular coffee shop in a mall. As such, we get very busy very quickly, and often don’t have enough people working to process customers as quickly as they’d like. Today was a very busy day.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “What sort of dairy-free drinks do you have?”

Me: “We have Lactaid and soy.”

Customer: “I’m just allergic to dairy.”

Me: “Okay, we can make your drink dairy-free.”

Customer: “Could you make the peppermint mocha dairy-free?”

Me: “Yes, we can. What size would you like?”

Customer: “What’s in the peppermint mocha.”

Me: “Normally it’s espresso, peppermint syrup, mocha sauce, steamed milk, and whipped cream with chocolate shavings on top. But we can make it dairy free with no topping.”

Customer: “Okay. I need it dairy free.”

Me: “Okay. What size would you like?”

Customer: “Wait, what kind of flavours are in the peppermint mocha?”

Me: “…peppermint syrup and mocha sauce.”

Customer: “What’s in your mocha sauce?”

Me: “It’s a powder we mix with water.”

Customer: *talking with her friend and doesn’t hear me*

Me: “What size would you like today?”

Customer: “Sorry, what’s in your mocha sauce?”

Me: “It’s a powder we mix with water.”

Customer: “Do you mix milk with it?”

Me: “No, we just use water.”

Customer: “Is there any dairy in it?”

Me: “If you’d like, I could go get the mocha package and show you the ingredients.”

Customer: “Yes, please.”

(I go to the back and give myself a couple of seconds to internally scream. I get a packet and go back out. The customer has gotten one of the baristas who is busy making drinks to stop and instead talk to her.)

Customer: “I need it dairy-free.”

Barista: “Our mocha sauce is dairy-free—”

Customer: “But do you put milk into it?”

Me: “I have the packet right here that you could look at.”

(Barista gives me a look of gratitude and goes back to making drinks. Customer hums and haws as she reads the package.)

Me: “Would you like a peppermint mocha today?”

Customer: “Yes, please. Oh! But I need it dairy-free!”

Me: “Yes, I know. What size would you like?”

Customer: “Oh, wait, your peppermint syrup…” *pause*

Me: “…yes?”

Customer: “Is it dairy-free?”

(After another couple minutes she finished her order and left to pick up her drink. I heard her remark to a friend how slow we were in getting her drink made.)

I work in a restaurant that has double-decker coffee makers, meaning you brew a pot in the normal fashion, put the finished pot on a burner above the brewer, then make another pot.

A regular would always ask for a cup of coffee “from the fresh pot,” meaning the pot that was newly made instead of the one on the top burner. He never listened when I told him that the coffee on the top burner was only sitting there long enough for the second pot to be made.

After a while, it became annoying.

One day, I happened to look up and saw him making his way toward the restaurant. The second pot had just finished brewing, so I immediately switched pots. Sure enough, the regular made his usual request for the “fresh pot.” No problem, sir! He never noticed the difference.

(I’ve just gotten a drastic hairstyle change — gone back to my natural brown from pink and blue and had over 12 inches cut off — and am texting a friend about it, while at a coffee shop. I  promise to send her a picture. Just as I raise my phone to take the pic, the woman behind me pipes up.)

Woman: “Ugh, young people and their phones.”

(I ignore her, snap the picture, and text it to my friend.)

Woman: *louder* “You young people really have nothing better to do than sit around on your phones, don’t you? At least use your phone to actually communicate rather than taking picture after picture.”

Me: “Are you talking about me?”

Woman: “At least my son will grow up actually talking to people rather than being glued to his phone his entire life. And—”

Me: *already knowing where this is going* “Let me guess. He’ll show respect for his elders, even when they’re being rude and disrespecting him?”

Woman: *primly* “Was I being rude? No, I don’t think so!”

Me: “Lady, I was minding my own business when you started loudly commenting on me being on my phone and generalizing me based on a minute of you spying on me. That’s rude, so I have no inclination to be ‘respectful’ to you. And not that I owe you any explanation, but I am communicating. My friend is deaf. Talking on the phone isn’t exactly an option.”

Woman: *turning red* “Well, you could at least wait until you see her. No need to be on your phone all the time, and there’s certainly no need to be rude to me.”

Me: “She lives a few hundred miles away, and even if she didn’t, who cares if I’m on my phone? As for being rude, I’m not the one bothering anyone, and I’m certainly not making loud, rude, and untrue assumptions and interrupting a conversation. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go back to chatting with my friend — and if you do mind, I don’t care.”

(She sputtered angrily and loudly bashed me to her friend who sat down a few minutes later. She wound up being asked by several people to be quiet because she was so loud, and left in a huff. But, hey, at least she wasn’t on her phone.)