When I was a barista, I used to get a lot of clueless idiots. My coffee shop would have multiple different kinds of coffee brewing on any given day. Two were regular, one French roast, and one Full City roast, usually with different countries of origin.
Customer: “I want a cup of coffee.”
Me: “Would you like the Ethiopian or Kenyan?”
Customer: *Yelling* “I don’t want any flavored coffee! I just want regular!”
We have a regular who never waits in line. She always marches to the front and just places her order. We tell her she needs to wait in line every time, but then she causes a scene and slows down service, to the point where the other customers just tell us to serve her, or our manager will just deal with her if he’s free.
This has never sat right with me, and I want her to learn that bad behavior is not to be rewarded. I come up with a plan (inspired by a story from social media) and get the okay from my manager. FYI: We’re allowed to give away one free drink a day.
The regular comes in and skips the line again, as usual. This time, we don’t kick up a fuss and we just make her order. The next customer (the one the regular immediately cut in line in front of) then steps up to give their order.
Me: *Loudly* “Congratulations, ma’am! You’re our 100th customer today, which means your drink is free! It’s so crazy, I looked at the line and I thought you would have been our 99th customer today, but I guess I was wrong!”
The customer is ecstatic about getting their drink for free, and the regular is glaring (even though she never takes off her sunglasses, even indoors).
The next day, she cuts the line again. And once again, when I am serving the customer she cut in front of:
Me: *Loudly* “Congratulations, sir! You’re our 100th customer today! That means your drink is free!”
Another happy customer, another glare from the regular. This happened two more times, and by the end of the week, the regular had shockingly stopped in line! She went back to her bad habit the next week, and the “100th customer” deal came back until she gave up and just stopped coming back in altogether.
Our manager says that any obvious line-cutting will now be resolved with this karmic tactic.
My husband and I are renting out the main floor of a house we own. We post a listing on Facebook Marketplace. We include in the description that no dogs are allowed, but cats are okay, as long as they are fixed. I especially am very firm on my no-dogs rule.
We get many, many messages from people sending photos of their dogs, asking if we would allow one with a pet fee, saying their dog is a particular size, age, etc. — i.e., “They’re [breed] and only ten pounds!” — and asking if we would consider it. The answer is always no.
We get one prospective tenant who mentions that she has a couple of cats. She likes the place and seems responsible, and after thinking about it, we decide to offer it to her.
A week passes, and we meet up at a local coffee shop for her to sign the lease. We get to a part that says “pets allowed” and we have “no” checked off. She gets a panicked look.
Us: “Oh, sorry about that! We missed that. We’ll put in here that it’s okay. You have two cats, right?”
Tenant: “And a dog! Look!” *Shows us a photo* “He’s very old and has a tumor and probably won’t live much longer.”
We went ahead with signing the lease since we were both taken by surprise and were running out of time; we’d just lost an entire week of looking for other prospective tenants since we were planning on signing the lease with her. The way she was talking, I was even wondering if the dog would survive long enough to make the move since it was a few weeks out from the move-in date.
But no, the day came when she moved in. We immediately started getting complaints from the tenant downstairs about the dog barking a lot.
…and that’s EXACTLY why I had a “no dogs” rule.
I know there are responsible dog owners out there. But you can’t always trust people, including dog owners who say their dog is not a problem.
I wonder if the tenant just didn’t see that part in our ad, figured it would be no big deal if she conveniently forgot to mention it, or actually did forget to mention the dog. I will be asking any future tenants straight out what pets they have.
Customer: “Oat milk flat white. Extra hot.”
Me: “Yes, sir. Oat milk flat white, extra hot. That’s [total].”
Customer: *Pays* “And when I say extra hot, I mean extra hot!”
Me: “It will be as hot as we can make it without burning it, sir.”
Customer: “I want it boiling. I need it to be bubbling in the cup when you hand it to me.”
Me: “That’s a milk-based drink, sir. It would be impossible to serve it to you boiling.”
Customer: “But I want it that hot; just boil the milk until it’s bubbling!”
Me: “It would be impossible to serve that without burning the drink, sir, and maintaining the temperature.”
Customer: “Is it because it’s oat milk and not real milk?”
Me: “No, it’s because of thermodynamics.”
Related:
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 15
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 14
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 13
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 12
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 11
This took place around 2010 when the economy was still rotten because of the 2008 recession. I was sixteen, and at my parents’ insistence, I tried to find a part-time job despite the fact that nobody was hiring. I had adjusted my school schedule in such a way that I could potentially work several more hours than would be typical of most high school students.
A barista position opened up at the coffee shop across the street from my school, and I turned in my application. The barista working there at the time scheduled an interview for me with the manager the next day.
I showed up at the coffee shop at the designated time, told a barista I was ready, and was told to wait a few minutes. I sat down and waited. And waited. And waited. After thirty minutes, I asked the barista when the manager would be coming. She called him, and he apparently told her that he would be there in a few minutes.
After thirty more minutes of waiting, the manager finally arrived. He introduced himself and pulled out my now-crumpled application and resume. He briefly skimmed over it and then spoke to me without looking up.
Manager: “Sorry, we’re not hiring high schoolers right now. You don’t have enough availability for us.”
Me: “But I—”
Manager: “Thank you anyway, though.”
