Years ago, I was working at a bookstore with a cafe in it. I had always gotten along well with the cafe crew and liked to joke around with them. When the fad of drawing a mustache on your finger to hold up to your lip first became a thing, I thought they would get a kick out of it. One day, before my shift started, I went and stood in line in the cafe to get my drink, like I usually did, and when it was my turn at the register I smiled, held the drawn mustache up to my lip, and made my order.

My coworker let out a boisterous laugh, and then literally doubled over on the floor laughing. I was shocked at her reaction, as I was only expecting to get a chuckle out of her, not this kind of extreme response. I stood there embarrassed as the line of customers behind me was wondering what was happening. Another coworker in the cafe, upon seeing the cashier on the floor, let out a disgruntled sigh and stepped over her to come take my order, obviously annoyed with both of us. I sheepishly repeated my order, paid without a word, and stood to the side, red-faced and looking at the floor.

After that, I decided to cut back on horsing around with the cafe crew… At least where customers would be watching.

(I go on break and order myself a strawberry smoothie, which is pink. The customer behind me gets a mango, which is yellow. I go and sit down while I wait for it to be made.)

Coworker: “Strawberry smoothie for [My Name].”

(I walk up to get it and see the lady is grabbing my smoothie; being shy, I go back behind the counter and tell my coworker to tell her she has the wrong one.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, miss. That is not your smoothie; you had the mango, and it will be out in a second.”

(The lady puts a straw in the smoothie.)

Coworker: “Miss! That is not yours.” *my coworker grabs the mango smoothie* “This is your smoothie, miss; you had the mango!”

(The lady then drinks the strawberry.)

Coworker: “MISS! DOES THAT LOOK LIKE A MANGO SMOOTHIE TO YOU?! THAT IS NOT YOURS!”

Customer: “I like this one better; I’ll just take this one.”

(Then, she walked out of the store, leaving her smoothie and taking mine.)

I work at a coffee shop, and the owners are terribly cheap. We have an air conditioning system that breaks down every year, and this year is no exception. We are in the middle of July and it’s blazing hot outside. Indoors, we only have two small fans set up on either side of the store as an attempt to keep things cool. Workers regularly dart to the back to get a drink of water, since we aren’t allowed to keep a drink on us in the front.

One of my coworkers who was on deli goes into the back for a drink; I agree to cover her while she is gone. Usually, people only take a minute for a drink of water, but after almost ten minutes she still isn’t back. Once there is a break in food orders, I go look for her. I search all over the place, including outside, in the washrooms, and even in the walk-in-freezer, and she is nowhere to be found. I have another food order, so I give up looking for the time being.

A little bit later, I need to grab some butter from the fridge, which is large, but not a walk-in. I open the door and find my coworker sitting in it, head between her knees.

Turns out, she was working deli, which has a toaster that was radiating heat. The heat from the toaster, combined with the already sweltering heat from the weather, overwhelmed her and gave her heat exhaustion. So, she went to “get a drink of water,” and sat in the fridge to try and cool herself down. While in the fridge, she felt nauseous and dizzy and put her head down to help herself get over the feeling.

However, when I open the door, I don’t realize any of that information and think I have just stumbled upon a corpse that was stuffed in the fridge. I let out such a loud shriek that all of my coworkers come sprinting over to see what is wrong. When we have all figured out what happened, they laugh their tails off at me for being scared.

They now frequently hide in the fridge and jump out at me. On the bright side, because of the incident, our owners have finally paid to fix the air conditioning, which has made working in the summer much more bearable.

(I work at a popular coffee shop. We have a regular who makes sure we make her coffee with a fresh-brewed pot in front of her. One day she comes in while we are brewing a new pot.)

Me: “Hello! Can I get you your usual?”

Regular: *ignores me and states her regular order*

Me: “Okay, that will be [amount].”

Regular: “I want a fresh pot!”

Me: “I know.”

(I make her order with the pot that just got done brewing and give it to her. A few minutes later, I overhear her complaining to my manager, who then tells me to remake it. The lady watches me to make sure I use a fresh pot.)

Regular: “That wasn’t fresh. I know what fresh coffee tastes like, and that’s not it.”

(Fed up with her and my manager’s attitude, I take the oldest pot to remake her coffee. She takes a sip.)

Regular: “Ah! Now that’s fresh coffee!”

Customer: “I’ll have a large americano for here.”

Me: “Sure thing.” *reaches for a china cup*

Customer: “Oh, no, no, no! I’ll have it in a paper cup.”

Me: “Oh, okay.” *makes his drink in a paper cup*

Customer: “I don’t want to drink out of something other people have been drinking out of. Swine flu, you know.”

Me: “Fair enough, but you know, health regulations require that all reusable dishes be run through a sanitizer that uses boiling water and a chemical disinfectant. The dishes come out basically sterile.”

Customer: “Nah, I’d still rather not chance it. Have a great day!”

(This gentleman paid cash, and when he left, put his hand on the doorknob that is cleaned maybe once a week with a basic glass cleaner, and went on his merry way.)