(I’m at the airport in a popular coffee shop and the woman in front of me is on her phone. She asks for an iced coffee with every imaginable substitution, addition, and change. The poor cashier keeps trying to clarify while the woman is talking on her phone to a friend, and finally breaks away to shout at the cashier:)

Customer: “…and make that as non-fat as possible! I’m trying to lose twenty pounds! Do I look like I need to lose twenty pounds? I need to lose twenty pounds!”

(She keeps talking on her phone while the cashier tries to get her to pay and move on. She finally huffs and sighs and complains to her friend about how the staff are SO RUDE and how she needs to lose twenty pounds. I finally make it to the register and order. I’m dying laughing.)

Cashier: “Any special requests?”

Me: “Yes, please do that in the simplest way possible so I’m not the a**hole you’re making fun of all day!”

(I got a free pastry.)

(I work on the cash register with three baristas currently on the coffee machines. Our sanitizer (where we put the dishes in) is broken, so we can’t serve eat-in cups and plates. A sign is put out so customers know that all orders are in takeaway cups. One elderly man comes forward with an order filled out, waiting for a small latte. He is served the small latte, and comes back saying he wants it in a standard cup, then saying he wants it in an eat-in cup.)

Customer: “I want it in this cup.” *points to the cups on the top of the coffee machine*

Barista #1: “We aren’t serving in mugs today, as the sanitizer/dishwasher is broken.”

Me: *points to sign in front of him* “We can serve in a takeaway cup.”

(The elderly customer grumbles, takes it, and goes to wait in the dining room. Once the coffee order is done, I take it to him since he’s waiting.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. I hope you have a very good morning!:

Elder Customer: “No, I do not want it in a paper cup! I want it in a china cup; I do not like paper cups.”

Me: “I am sorry, but we are unable to do it today, as the sanitizer is broken.”

(As I am rather new to the cafe and haven’t dealt with this type of customer, I am unsure what the problem is.)

Customer: “I don’t want it in a paper cup! I need it in an eat-in cup, Can you not understand that!?”

Me: “I know, sir, but this is what we can serve, until we get the machine working again to properly clean the cups.”

Customer: “I don’t want it then!” *gives me a look, like I am some sort of child*

(I walk back into the cafe to the three baristas, and tell them what the customer said.)

Barista #1: “Are you kidding me! It’s the third one! They don’t seem to understand we can only serve in paper cups today.”

Barista #2: “I’ve had enough; I am telling the manager!”

(The manager on duty placed another sign outside to tell people. Apparently the idea of drinking from a paper cup shocked the little perfect coffee world they live in.)

(I am a sixteen-year-old female, working as a server at a small town cafe. A woman, looking to be her late 20s, wearing rose/pinkish tinted sunglasses and a pink purse, walks in and sits down in a booth. The woman seems already angry about something, but I serve her as I do with all my other customers. She orders a chicken tender meal, which I later bring out to her. I check back in a few minutes later only to find the woman’s face contorted with RAGE and DISGUST.)

Me: “Is everything okay, ma’am?”

Customer: *begins yelling* “How dare you serve these to me? What is f****** wrong with you, you fat b****! Are you trying to kill your customers?!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am? What seems to be the issue with the chicken?”

Customer: “Are you blind? They’re clearly raw!”

(I looked at these thoroughly-cooked chicken tenders, and, not being bold enough to call out the woman’s pink-tinted sunglasses, tried to apologize to get her to calm down. Take into account that the woman was still wearing her sunglasses inside a cafe… at night time. I tried to compensate for the food by offering her a free meal and different food, but nothing seemed to be a good enough offer for her. She became so enraged that she finally took off her sunglasses, and her eyes locked on her “raw” chicken. The light-bulb finally turned on. Her rose/pink tinted sunglasses had made inside of the chicken tender appear raw. She shot a look of pure hate into my eyes before storming out without paying for her meal.)

(I have a customer that comes in every single day, two minutes before we close, and orders a sixteen-ounce Americano with room for cream. He is never overly friendly, but not necessarily rude, so I don’t have a problem with him… Until one day, when I don’t give him enough room.)

Customer: “Do you not know what ‘room’ means?”

Me: “I’m sorry; you didn’t specify, so I just gave you as much room as most people.”

Customer: “Do you not know what ‘room’ means or do you think I’m stupid? Remake it, and put room in it.”

Me: “I’ll remake it, but next time you could ask a little nicer. It was an honest mistake.”

Customer: “Nice has nothing to do with it!”

Me: “Nice has everything to do with it!”

(It took me months to be able to make his drink again, because whenever he walked up to the counter I would refuse to make it and another barista would do it for me. He’s still incredibly rude, and if I have to make his Americano, I use decaf. I do not feel bad.)

(I work at a drive-thru coffee shop that shares a parking lot with a burger joint. One day a woman comes through my drive-thru.)

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, give me a [specialty burger] and a large fry.”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Coffee Shop].”

Customer: “You’re not [Burger Chain that has no stores on this side of town]?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is [Coffee Shop].”

Customer: “Are you sure?!“

Me: *looking at my apron and all the espresso equipment* “Yes.”