Five Coffee Ring (Stains)

| Australia | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a cafe that is part of a club that also has restaurants and bars. People often come in for dinner and coffee, and then stick around for some drinks. It is just before Christmas, and two customers come to my counter looking very excited.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Club]! What can I get for you today?”

Customer #1: “Hi, I’d like to order two cappuccinos, four hot chocolates, and three flat—”

Customer #2: *very excitedly* “And a partridge in a pear tree!”

(Both of them pause, looking at me expectantly.)

Customer #1: “…I think we did that wrong.”

Customer #2: “And we’re not even drunk yet!”

Stripped Of Inhibitions

| BC, Canada | Rude & Risque

(I work two jobs in a small town. My regular position is lifeguard/AquaFit instructor at a local pool. I am currently working my part-time job at a local coffee shop when one of my regular AquaFit class members comes in with his wife and recognizes me.)

Customer: “Oh! Hey there, I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on!”

(His wife and I had a good laugh while his face went bright red and he fumbled through the rest of the transaction. The next day at the pool he could hardly make eye contact!)

Warning Signs: AKA Price Tags

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(In addition to selling coffee we also sell things like mugs and greeting cards. A woman brings three cards up to the counter.)

Me: *after ringing them up* “That’ll be $16.50.”

Customer: “What? $16.50 for three cards? Are you sure?”

Me: *checks* “Yes, I’m sure. See, on the back it shows how much it is. These are all around $5 so with tax that makes $16.50.”

Woman: “Well, that seems like too much.”

Me: “Well,they are kind of expensive, but they are also really great cards and I’m sure whoever you are buying them for will love them.”

Customer: “But still, $16.50!”

Me: “Do you still want to buy them?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but you should have some sort of warning sign up.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “A warning sign. Write a sign that says, ‘Beware: cards are expensive!’”

A Lack Of Considerate Driving

| Mission, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am around seven-months pregnant with my daughter. I am working on drive-thru. The customer drives up to the window after placing her order. She is pretty much as far away from the window as she can be.)

Me: “Hi there. That will be [total].”

(The customer hands me the money. She doesn’t try to help me out by reaching her arm out so I reach out as far as my belly will let me and managed to get her money. I punch in what she gave me and handed her the order and then her change. I accidentally drop a dime as she makes no effort to reach out for the change so I basically have to rest my belly on the counter.)

Customer: *tries to hand me back all her change* “Want to try that again without dropping it?”

(I am a little cranky at the fact that she couldn’t pull up to the window properly or at least reach her hand out more, and my bosses have always backed me up, so at this point I don’t care.)

Me: “Want to try pulling up to the window properly? I’m pregnant and I basically had to climb the counter because you’re an idiot. If you can’t pull up to the window you could at least make an effort reaching for your change instead of being rude and making me squish my stomach into the counter.”

(She didn’t answer and just drove away.)

No More Grand Grande Requests

| Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

(I go to my local Starbucks, and step in line behind three high school students:)

Student #1: “I’d like a grande carmel brûlée latte with a double pump of carmel and extra whipped cream.”

Student #2: “I’ll have a venti iced pumpkin spice latte with three shots, extra whipped cream. Don’t put too much ice in, please.”

Student #3: “I’ll take a grande caramel brûlée frappuccino blended coffee with extra caramel and extra whipped cream.”

(Throughout this transaction the barista is polite and efficient. I approach the counter and order my usual.)

Me: “Grande latte, please.”

(The barista looked up and mouthed the words “thank you” before completing my order. Made my day!)

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