About To Be Old-Fashion Glazed

| OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(A couple has just walked in and ordered two donuts, and I place them both in the same bag and hand them out. After I wish them a nice day, I hear this conversation:)

Woman: *to the man* “Oh, she put our donuts in the same bag. My donut is contaminating your donut. MY DONUT IS HAVING SEX WITH YOUR DONUT!”

(I ended up having to run to the back room to burst out laughing.)

Refill And Rethink Your Scam

| USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a coffee shop in a larger department store. We have a free refill policy on teas and coffees, as long as it was purchased in the store and the customer has not left. Many people abuse this.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “I’d like a refill.”

Me: “Oh, what was your drink? I don’t remember making it.”

Customer: “Green tea with lemonade. The other girl made it.”

Me: *still smiling away* “Really? Wow, that’s a long time to be shopping!”

Customer: “Yeah, I’ve been here almost an hour.”

Me: “Nope. My last coworker left at three. It’s now eight. I have to charge you for this drink.”

(Cue grumpy stomping off!)

The Best Coffee In Cybertron

| Santa Clara, CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

(A young woman walks into our store carrying an unusually large purse.)

Woman: “Hi! I’d like to order a caramel frappuccino. Nothing else, please.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be [price]. Who’s it for?”

Woman: “My friend.” *pulls plastic robot-looking toy out of her purse along with her wallet; sets it on counter and passes me a credit card* “His name is Soundwave. But you can say it’s for Allison.”

Me: “Okay… You can pick that up over at our pickup window.”

Woman: “Thank you!” *puts toy back in purse, walks away*

You’re Not Getting Change Until You Change

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

(I am in line with my friend and have ordered myself a latte. The cashier turns to relay the order to the barista when a man arrives, tosses two dollars on the counter, grabs a small coffee cup, and heads over where the black coffee dispensers are without saying a word. The cashier turns back around and sees the money on the counter.)

Cashier: “Oh, honey, it’ll be more than $2.”

Me: “Actually, that’s not mine. That man over there just threw that down. I think he’s paying for a coffee?”

(We turn and watch as the man exits, still silent.)

Cashier: “…okayyy. Guess someone’s not getting their change today.”

That Better Just Be Cream Inside

| ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(One of our best selling donuts is the éclair which has a rather… phallic shape. A mother and daughter come are ordering via drive through.)

Mother: *at the speaker* “Do you have any of those creamy long donuts?”

Daughter: “THE ECLAIRS. PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE THEM!”

Me: “Yes, we have three left.”

Daughter: “WE’LL TAKE THEM ALL!”

Me: “Okay, please drive through.”

(They come around to the window. They pay and I hand them their box of éclairs.)

Daughter: “You know, these things are SOOO delicious.”

Mother: “Mm-hmm.”

Daughter: “I WOULD HAVE SEX WITH THEM IF I COULD!”

(The daughter then proceeded to stick the éclair in her mouth in a very sexual way. The mother screamed and drove away.)

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