Me: “Do you have a loyalty card you would like me to scan?”

Customer: Yes, absolutely. I never leave home without it.”

Me: “Perfect.” *scans his card and prints off his receipt* “Now if you just go here on the website, you have a chance to win up to $1000 daily.”

Customer: “Amazing. If I win, I will take you to dinner… Promise?”

(Being 16 years old, I am in shock.)

Customer: “Promise?” *voice gets louder* “Promise? PROMISE?!”

(Because it is the only way to make him leave.)

Me: “Yes… Promise.”

(I work for a popular clothing retailer, and we have an ongoing issue of persons reselling our merchandise after purchasing.)

Customer: “I would like to return these items. Here is my receipt.”

(After examining the receipt and items, I notice that there are different prices written on the back of the tags.)

Me: “I can’t return these items. They have been resold.”

Customer: “That’s impossible. I bought them for my family, and I demand a refund.”

Me: “I can’t return any of them; they have alternate prices on the back.”

(Her husband walks in and they begin to converse in Spanish. I am fluent.)

Customer: *in Spanish* “This a**-hole won’t do the return. I guess we will take them back to the shop.”

Me: *in Spanish* “So sorry I can’t do the return. Anything else I can do for you?”

(They left in a hurry, but I got a call from another store in another town asking about the same couple. Needless to say, they didn’t get what they wanted there either.)

(A few of my friends and I are in a clothing store. We are teenagers, and my friends have convinced me to try on a dress that I have no intention of buying. They insist, however, in seeing me.)

Me: “Here you go.”

Friend #1: “You look AWESOME!”

Friend #2: “Yeah! You totally should buy that!”

Me: “Maybe. I actually kinda like it, but—”

(One of our other party members, who was browsing clothes, hurries back over frantically.)

Friend #3: “We should leave. Hurry, please.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Friend #3: “We need to get out of here. Now.”

(I quickly change and we leave the store.)

Me: “What happened?”

Friend #3: “The employees back there heard you say you didn’t want to buy the dress you were trying on. They were talking about us. They said, ‘Those f*****g b*****s need to get out of here so our a*****e customers can get in and spend their f*****g money already!'”

Friend #1: “WHAT?! THEY JUST LOST FOUR NEW CUSTOMERS! WE WERE GOING TO GO BACK!”

Me: “One moment.”

(I walk back into the store and find the employees.)

Employee #1: “What do you want?”

Me: “I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

Employee #2: “On what?”

Me: “I thought you should know that my friend heard every word you said. You lost four new customers with your obscene language and incredibly rude attitude. Be ready for a call to your manager. Have a nice day!”

(I left the store with the employees having horrified expressions on their faces. I called the store the next week. Ever since, the employees were fired and I was given an immense discount on my next purchase. I saw one of the employees several weeks later. She recognized me as well.)

Me: *overly sweetly* “How’s your job? Did you get a raise?”

Employee #1: “F*** you!”

(A customer comes in with two five- to nine-year-olds and one that is likely two, in a stroller. Her kids are being s***s and almost breaking things. I approach.)

Me: “Hey, would you mind asking your children to stop? If they damage store property, you’ll have to pay.”

(She scoffs at me and her kids keep at it.)

Me: “Excuse me, I asked you once. Please tell your children to stop.”

(She doesn’t, so I approach her kids. She starts yelling at me.)

Customer: “How dare you ask them to stop! They’re just plastic things!”

(I explain yet again she’d have to pay for damaged property. She starts yelling so I ask her to leave the store if she isn’t going to listen.)

Customer: *freaking out* “What is your boss’s number?! My child is special and he does not understand. How dare you be so rude to ask me, a paying customer, to leave?!”

(We get to the front counter and she starts involving my coworker and other customers. She leaves without getting the number. I step outside to chill. She comes out and says to my face:)

Customer: “You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d assume you had autism.”

(A new store has just opened in the local mall, and is still working on being fully staffed. As a result, the place is pretty busy. I am there as a customer, waiting in line to purchase a few items. There are only two registers open at the moment, so the line is getting quite long. Near the line are a couple racks with hangers on them, and a sign.)

Sign: “In order to get your purchases home faster, please remove your hangers and leave them here.”

(Despite the sign, no one pays much attention to it except me, and my items don’t come with hangers, so it doesn’t apply. I am currently standing between two customers, Customer #1 in front of me and Customer #2 behind.)

Cashier: *calling out for the whole line to hear* “Hi, everyone! If you’re buying any clothing items, if you could please remove your hangers and hang them on the racks beside you in line, it would be a big help!”

Customer #1: “Isn’t that their job?”

Customer #2: “Yeah. I don’t think I got a job here without anyone telling me.”

Me: *speaking out loud, but as if talking to myself* “Maybe they’re just trying to get the line through faster.”

(Neither of the other customers said anything after that, but when Customer #1 was called to the next register, I watched her start removing the hangers herself, leaving them on the counter for the cashier to remove when she could have just as easily removed them while she was still in line.)