Hope She Goes Away With The Flow

, | Luton, England, UK | Right | August 8, 2016

(I work as a shop assistant in quite an expensive high street store. Because of the relatively costly items, customers expect a certain level of customer service. We also wear clothing from the store as our uniform, but with no real way of identifying staff, we usually greet our customers while we’re tidying the shop floor. I am going about my business when a customer walks in. I give it about 30 seconds before approaching her.)

Me: “Good morning.”

Customer: “Hi. I was just looking for some clothes. Is that okay?”

Me: “Of course. What sort of clothing were you after?”

Customer: “Just clothes. Am I in the right place?”

(I realise that she is trying to make some kind of point.)

Customer: “This ‘customer service’ nonsense is ridiculous. ‘Are you all right? Do you need any help?’ It interrupts the flow of shopping. Shopping is an experience, and the shop assistant getting in your face interrupts the flow of shopping.”

Me: “Well, as we wear clothing from the store, staff members can be a little tricky to identify if they aren’t behind the till, so we greet customers so they know who to look out for if they need any help.”

Customer: “’Need help,’ pfft. If I need help I’ll come and find you. You don’t need to ask me if I need help. Do you know that leading psychologists (that’s what I do, I’m trained in psychology) have found that most people hate shopping now because of all this ‘customer service’ so they’d rather shop online? Isn’t that sad? Shopping is an experience and customer service is simply ruining it.”

Me: “We carry out customer surveys on a regular basis and we’ve found that customers actually request this kind of service and many of them shop here not only because of the clothing but also the standard of customer service we uphold, but I’m sure if you wrote a letter to the company they would take your thoughts on board.”

(She carried on for 10 minutes before she stopped “interrupting the flow of my working.”)

Trying To Take Credit For It

| UT, USA | Right | August 8, 2016

(At my store, we’re required to inform customers about our store credit card and attempt to get them to sign up. I’ve just finished ringing up a customer with her purchases.)

Me: “All right, and would you like to save 10% today and sign up for a [Store] card?”

Customer: “Do you have any coupons back there you can give me?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have any non-card holder coupons out right now.”

Customer: “Can I just use your employee discount?”

Me: “Sorry, we’re not allowed to do that. I’d get in a lot of trouble.”

Customer: “That’s dumb. I shop here all the time.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but with the [Store] credit card you get a percentage back on your purchase every time you use it and special card holder coupons mailed out to you. If you shop here a lot, it’s actually pretty worth it. Would you like to apply today?”

Customer: *blank-faced* “Can’t I just use yours?”

Me: *taken aback* “Sorry, I don’t have one for you to even use in the first place.”

Customer: “Exactly! Why are you trying to sell me a card if you don’t even have one?”

Me: “Well, I’m only seventeen… so I’m not really old enough to apply in the first place.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just stupid!”

Size ‘L’ For Lazy

| The Netherlands | Right | July 23, 2016

(During my studies, I work part time at a high-end clothing store. One of my tasks is to fold clothes in the women’s department. I’ve just folded a high pile of baby-pink polo shirts, when a woman comes up and starts pulling on the bottom of the pile.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “I need this in size L.” *pulls random polos from the pile*

Me: *grabs polo* “Here you go, an L.”

(The woman heads for the fitting room, and just as I have reshaped the pile to something neat, she returns and throws her crumpled polo shirt on top of it.)

Woman: “Aaah, no. You know? Pink just isn’t my colour. Now, fold.

(She waves her hand at me to make me work.)

Me: “…”

Wouldn’t Want To Be In Their Shoes

| UT, USA | Right | July 14, 2016

(It’s a slow day, and I’m the only cashier up at the registers. A frazzled mom comes up to make her purchases with her chatty toddler son in tow. The kid is talking non-stop, pointing out every little thing, and obviously has been doing so for some time. The mother is quickly losing her patience and hardly says a word to me.)

Me: *reaching for a pair of toddler boy shoes to scan* “Hey, bud, are these awesome shoes for you?”

(The little boy nods excitedly and stops mid-sentence to begin chatting about his shoes. The mother cuts in.)

Customer: “Obviously those are for him. Please don’t talk to my son.”

(The rest of the transaction was done in uncomfortable silence, save for the little boy continuing to chat away non-stop. To this day I’m still dumbfounded over her response!)

Redo This Coupon, Sharp(ie)!

| VA, USA | Right | July 5, 2016

(The customer is an elderly woman. After ringing up her 30 items, I hand her her receipt and one of our coupons, which are valid for the five days after the purchase. She has been pretty nice up to this point, but now her face is scrunched up in anger.)

Elderly Customer: “These dates don’t work for me! Change them!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have the power to do that.”

Elderly Customer: “Just Sharpie them in!”

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