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Yay, More Impossible Beauty Standards…

, , , | Right | December 27, 2023

A customer comes out of the changing rooms looking stressed and flustered.

Customer: “There’s something wrong with your dresses! None of them fit!”

Me: “Well, the summer dresses are meant to be quite flexible, but if you’ll forgive me, madam, you seem quite tall. Maybe you should try a large instead of the medium?”

Customer: “I am not a large!

Me: “Ma’am, I am simply saying that because you’re taller than—” 

Customer:No! I can’t be a large! I eat salad!”

She purchased the medium dresses anyway and stormed out. Honestly, I think she would have looked amazing in the large size.

Someone’s Having A Really Sad Christmas

, , , , | Right | December 24, 2023

My dad worked in a men’s clothing store. On Christmas Eve, they closed at 6:00. A guy came in and was wandering around the store at six on the button. I was in the store waiting for my dad.

Dad: *To the customer* “Sir, the store is closed.”

Customer: “I want to be waited on.”

Dad: “Sir, the store is closed. The lights are off, and the cash register is closed.”

Customer: “I want you to wait on me. I don’t want to go home for Christmas Eve.”

Dad: “Sir, the store is closed. We want to go home.”

Customer: “I want to be waited on.”

Dad: “Sir, it’s not my holiday, but we want to go home. Please leave.”

The customer gave my dad a dirty look but left.

Providing An Ambiance Of IDGAF

, | Right | December 18, 2023

I am a temp at a clothing store, and I have had training for everything but the cash registers. A customer comes up to me.

Customer: “I want to check out.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait until one of the cashiers comes back.”

Customer: “Well why are you even here then?!”

Me: “Excuse me, but I’m here to add to the ambiance!”

He got confused because he didn’t know what ambiance meant so he just went to the till and waited.

Don’t Quote Scripture Unless You Quote All Scripture

, , , , , , | Right | December 13, 2023

Our clothing store’s target market could be described as “lightly rebellious teen”, so the apparel reflects that. We don’t have anything too offensive; it’s mostly playful.

We have just stocked a range of shirts that say, “Sorry, boys, I like girls,” and, “Sorry, girls, I like boys.” The shirts have just the text on them, with no offensive imagery or anything else. Of course, we knew these shirts might ruffle some feathers

On the first day they’re on the store floor, a woman approaches me: feathers ruffled.

Customer: “I would like to speak to your manager about the horribly inappropriate display you have over there!”

I call my manager over. He knew he might be needed a bit more today, so he doesn’t take long to come down.

Manager: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “You can start by explaining why you have such disgusting clothing on display in front of the children!”

Manager: *Playing coy* “Clothing is a matter of taste, ma’am. If you’re not a fan of a particular style or color, it doesn’t mean someone else doesn’t like it.”

Customer: “I’m talking about the gay indoctrination you have written all over your clothes! You may be comfortable with grooming our kids to be gay, but Jesus isn’t, and this is a Christian country! Take them down and burn them!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, this store is here to serve everyone, not just people with your opinion. We will not be taking down any of our clothes to suit you—”

Customer: “It is not an opinion! It is the word of God, and you would do well to adhere to it!”

Manager: “Ma’am, please lower your voice. If you could—”

Customer: “Adhere to the scripture, or I will be blasting your disgusting store all over Facebook!”

Manager: “1 Timothy 2:11-12. ‘A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.'”

The woman opens her mouth to protest, but nothing comes out.

Manager: “Now be quiet.”

For what it’s worth, my manager is not religious, and he’s definitely not sexist. He didn’t believe in that scripture (or any other), but it did come in useful in that instance!

Of course, the customer still complained on Facebook, but our company social media team shut her down and sent her a link to the store’s Pride range, instead!

The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 15

, , , , , , , , , | Right | December 10, 2023

A customer in her late teens or early twenties and a woman who I assume is her mother are in the store.

Customer: *To her mom* “It gets colder in Europe because it’s further from the sun. I need a thicker jacket.”

Customer’s Mom: “Let’s ask if they have winter jackets.”

Customer: “Oh, Europe has a winter, too?”

Customer’s Mom: “Uh… are you serious, dear?”

Customer: “I thought America invented the seasons, so why would we let Europe have them?”

Customer’s Mom: “Have you been watching the news with your father again?”

Customer: “News? Ugh, so gross.”

The customer comes over to me.

Customer: “I need a jacket for Europe.”

Me: “I can help you with that. Will it just be for casual walking through a city, or are you going to be outdoors a lot?”

Customer: “I’m gonna be drinking!”

Customer’s Mom: “No, dear, you’re not.”

Customer: “Yeah, I am! The legal drinking age is younger there!”

Customer’s Mom: “It might be, but you’re still on a school trip, so they’re not allowing the students who have turned eighteen to drink. I signed the permission slip that said as much.”

Customer: “I’m an adult! They can’t stop me!”

Customer’s Mom: “Maybe, but then they’ll lose their insurance and I’ll be fined, which means you’ll be fined. The places you’re going to will know not to serve alcohol to the American students.”

Customer: “I won’t tell them I’m American. I’m more Amazonian, anyway.”

Customer’s Mom: “No, dear, you’re Arizonian.”

Customer: “Whatever, geology is for mids.”

Customer’s Mom: “Just stop.” 

Related:
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 14
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 13
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 12
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 11
The More You Read The Worse It Gets, Part 10