(A customer approaches me to find a shirt for his wife.)
Me: “Okay, sir, what size shirt does your wife wear?”
Customer: “Oh, gosh, I dunno… She’s about your size; what size do you wear?”
Me: *slightly uncomfortable* “Um, I wear a medium.”
Customer: *eyes me up and down* “Pfffft, really?”
(Thanks, dude, because working here wasn’t lowering my self-esteem quite enough.)
(I’m a regular at a fashion shop and I’m going to the changing rooms with two items to try on. There’s a customer with no items in her hands standing behind a second customer waiting to try her items. Also, there’s a girl working for the store that calls out when a room is free.)
Me: *to [Customer #1]* “Excuse me, are you in line for a room?”
Customer #1: “No, I’m just waiting for someone.”
(She moves away from the line. [Customer #2], who was before her, goes in and then it’s my turn.)
Worker: *to me* “You can go in number five now.”
Me: “Great! Thanks.”
(I’m about to go when [Customer #1] comes in front of me with two new items.)
Customer #1: “I was here first! It’s my turn, not hers! It’s my turn!”
Me: “Whatever, just go.”
Worker: “Wow. It was your turn, right? I saw you ask her earlier if she was in line and she said no.”
Me: “Yes, I know. I just don’t want to make any trouble; she seemed agitated.”
(Another room is free and I start walking when [Customer #3] pushes me and tries to go in.)
Worker: “Excuse me, ma’am, this young lady was here before you. You need to go back to the line and wait for your turn.”
Customer #3: “I’m with [Customer #1], so I get to go in with her.”
Worker: “I’m sorry but I can’t allow two people in the same room. Please wait for your turn.”
(I start walking to the room when the worker starts walking with me.)
Worker: “There was no way someone else was going to pass in front of you again!”
Me: “Thanks a lot! Have a great day!”
When I am with friends on a city trip in London, I happen to come across a store of my favorite brand of clothing and I decide to check if they have a jacket I want but isn’t available in my size in the stores back at home.
Me:
“Okay, I went through the entire store, but no luck. They don’t have it.”
Friend #1:
“Oh, just show the picture of the jacket to one of the salespeople and they can check in the back.”
Me:
“Look, I worked in retail. There is no ‘in the back’ in these stores; if they had the jacket, they would just put it out on the floor. Why keep clothes hidden where no one can buy them?”
Friend #2:
“Just go and ask; they are bound to have it in the back.”
Me:
“Look, if it makes you happy, I will ask, but trust me, the store won’t have it in the back, even if they have a back room to begin with.”
I approach one of the salespeople.
Me:
“Hey, I know it is a long shot, and I don’t want to be that customer asking about the mythical back room, but would you happen to have this jacket somewhere?”
I show her the picture from their online store.
Employee:
“Oh, yes, it’s in the back! I’ll just get the key.”
The sales lady returns with a key and opens a door hidden behind a mirror which opens up to a room the size of the store filled with clothes not on the sales floor.
Friend #1:
“Oh, I must be hallucinating! I am seeing a room that does not exist”
Me:
“Oh, shut up. Now, does this jacket look good on me?”
A customer has just placed a large stack of items on the checkout counter.
Customer:
“Do you take checks?”
Cashier:
“I’m sorry, ma’am, no checks. We do take debit cards, though.”
Customer:
“I don’t have a debit card. Can you hold these for me while I go find my sister so I can use hers?”
Cashier:
“Sure, no problem.”
The customer and her sister return a few minutes later.
Customer:
*To her sister* “Can you pay for these with your card and then I’ll write you a check for the total?”
Customer’s Sister:
“Okay.”
The customer’s sister hands her card to the cashier.
Customer:
“You know what? Here, I’ll just give you cash for however much you put on your card.”
Customer’s Sister:
“You had cash? Why did you make me come into the store? You could have just bought the clothes yourself with the cash!”
Customer:
“Oh, yeah. I didn’t think of that. I guess that would be easier, huh?”
The customer paid with cash and left the store but then drove off without remembering to close the trunk of the car. Halfway across the parking lot, the car stopped, and the sister got out and closed the trunk, shaking her head. I hope they got home safely!
(In our fitting room, we always ask for names. My current customer is an average-looking woman in her late fifties.)
Me: “And can I get your name, please?”
Customer: “Today?”
Me: *a little surprised* “Um, yes?”
Customer: “Oh, let’s see… I guess Myrtle.”
(I write the name down and the customer starts giggling.)
Customer: “That’s my shopping name!”
This story is part of the Struggles With Names roundup!
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