A Glitch In The Matrix

, , | Right | July 14, 2020

A customer approaches me.

Customer: “Excuse me? I’m looking for breathable long-sleeve shirts for walking or cycling.”

I explain where to find those. I can still see her walking away when another customer approaches me.

Another Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for breathable long-sleeve shirts for walking or cycling!”

I am staring, trying to hold back laughter.

Me: “Um…” 

The customer looks confused.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry!”

I explain where to find the shirts. Both customers said the same sentence, word for word. They did not overhear each other; I’m quite sure about that.

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Unfiltered Story #200672

, , | Unfiltered | July 14, 2020

Unfortunately, I am the idiot in this story.
When I went to New York for the first time, I decided to get some new jeans. I had never been into a fancy store for jeans only before, so when they started taking measurements to determine which size would be best etc, I was a little baffled, to say the least.
However, the girl helping me was so nice and friendly, and continued telling me her name and that I should just call if I needed something.
At the end, I went to the cashier to pay and the cashier asked me if anyone was particularly helpful today and I could not remember the girl’s name for the life of me! So I just stood there, opening and closing my mouth like a fish on land, until I came up with “The girl with the red hair.”
So embarassing…

Unfiltered Story #198728

, , , | Unfiltered | June 27, 2020

(i work at a plus size women’s fashion store. A lady comes in with a huge stroller for her six month old twins, her five year old, and a seven year old she’s babysitting. She want to try things on so I put her in the handicap room so she has enough room for the kids. I see her trying to walk out of the store about five minutes later without any of the kids, and I didn’t notice anyone walking out with them. She’s done this several times before, and each time it has gotten worse)

Me: So how did everything go?

Customer: It went really well! I’ll be back in a little bit so I can decide what I want.

Me: I see you don’t have the kids anymore! Lucky you, getting a shopping day without all the kids.

Her: Oh, no I left them in the fitting room. The seven year old is in charge. Don’t worry to much though, I’ll only be gone about an hour, and she’s done this before.

Me: Uhh ma’am, you can’t leave your kids here without a responsible adult watching them.

Her: It’s really not a problem. I told them you would help them if anything happens.

Me: I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable with you leaving your kids here in the fitting rooms. If you are leaving you need to take them with you, or I have to call security and they will take them.

Her: What the fuck lady? I told you it’s fine. They can stay here if I want them too. Why is this always such a big deal with you retail workers?

Me: Ma’am. I’m not going to argue with you over this. You need to get your kids before you leave.

She then proceeds to knock things off my tables and racks while yelling incoherently about how she should be able to leave her kids wherever she wants, and cursing random words together. I turn to one of my other customers.

Customer 2: did that really just

Me: Yes. Unfortunately that’s not thebfirst time she’s tried this.

Unfiltered Story #198710

, , , | Unfiltered | June 27, 2020

(Before we open on a Tuesday)

Assistant Manager: “What were you and [Store Manager] wearing on Sunday?”
Me: “I don’t remember. Why?”
AM: “I got the strangest phone call yesterday. The woman started right off yelling at me: *whiny voice* ‘I’ve never been so disgusted in my life! I was in here yesterday, and I don’t know if she’s a d%ke or what, but your sales person kept flashing her t!tt!es at me! I’m cutting up my credit card, and I’m never coming back there again!’ And then she hung up before I could get a word in. Well, when she used that kind of language I knew she was more than a little off, but [the other AM] and I have been going crazy trying to figure out what either of you could have been wearing, since the two of you are probably the most conservative dressers in the store!”
Me: “Geez. Did you email [Regional Manager]?” ( we tend to email both our RM and the corporate office the minute we tangle with a customer, to get our side of the story in first in case a complaint is made)
AM: “Nah, I’ll just tell [Store Manager] when she comes in this afternoon and let her decide what she wants to do about it. I figure that woman’s just a crank.”

(It took me three days, until I was sorting the laundry into loads, to remember what top I’d worn that day. It was a solid t-shirt from our store, something I own in six different colors to wear with patterned skirts. They make up about half of my warm-weather work wardrobe. I’ve been wearing them to work for three or four years now. I’m more than a little offended, not so much for myself as for my co-workers who are not straight. I’m glad that woman isn’t coming back, in case she said something homophobic here in the store.)

What About “If You Can’t Say Anything Nice…”?

, , , , , | Related | June 25, 2020

My son is four and is learning that some truths are best left unsaid. A larger lady with close-cropped hair joins the queue behind us.

Son: “Mummy, look at that really fat man!”

Me: “Darling, that’s a lady, and you should be polite!”

Son: “So, she is really fat, just not a man?”

Me: “What would you do if someone said that to you?”

Son: “I would crash through the floor, and then through the earth, and then into the lava.”

Lady: *Having heard everything* “Then I’m taking you with me, sunshine! Better start running away now; keep you nice and slim!”

My son shrieked and laughed, and now remembers that exercise keeps you healthy. Thank you to the lady for being so understanding!

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