A Sterling Example Of Culture Shock

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2019

(I’m the idiot customer in this story. When I am 18, my dad takes me to Scotland for a vacation. While there I decide I want a kilt because they look awesome. We go into a clothing store.)

Me: *looking through a rack of tartan skirts on hangers* “How much are these kilts?”

Sales Lady: *looking at me like I’m insane* “I’m sorry, sir… but those are ladies’ kilts.”

Me: *confused* “But… what’s the difference?”

Sales Lady: “Ladies may buy their tartans off the rack if they choose, but gentleman’s kilts are always custom-tailored. You choose your tartan pattern and have a fitting, and then a tailor makes it for you. It usually takes several weeks, and 100 or 150 pounds.”

Me: *amazed* “150 pounds of wool?!”

Sales Lady: *disgusted with this ignorant American* “No, sir. 150 pounds sterling. That’s our money.”

(The worst thing is, I knew the British used pounds as money. I just got confused!)

Unfiltered Story #138445

, , | Unfiltered | January 29, 2019

(I am on the floor stocking, currently folding white/gray/black tank tops and making piles on the shelves. A woman with headphones in approaches the display. She looks at my piles, looks at me, looks at my unfolded stock, looks at the white tank top I am folding as we speak -)

Headphone Lady: Do you guys have any plain, white tank tops? I can’t seem to find any anywhere…

(She seemed so incredibly shocked when I showed her the display – Literally less than 5 inches away from where she was standing.)

Unfiltered Story #137055

, , , | Unfiltered | January 20, 2019

(I worked in a Notting Hill menswear shop in 1981, long gone now. One day, to my delight and astonishment, John Cleese walked in)

Me: H-how can I help you, sir?

JC: Ah, yes. I was wondering if you sell thermal underwear

Me: Um, yes. Let me get the ladder to bring it down

(I take down the thermals drawer, JC rummages through it for the longest pair and holds them in front of his legs, looking in the mirror behind me)

JC: Hmm yes, these look rather silly. I’ll take these thank you.

Me (catching on): Oh, do you want them for an Amnesty International sketch?

JC: That’s right! You are a clever lad.

(JC buys the thermals, and I make out a receipt. He thanks me)

Me: Mr Cleese, I’m a huge fan. Can I have your autograph please?

JC: Certainly. What’s your name?

(I tell him, ripping off a till receipt for him. He writes: Dear [my name], thanks for the panties! John Cleese. Then he exits and I turn to my co-worker, who is wide-eyed and slack-jawed!)

Beautifully Cute

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I work in a store where we’re encouraged to dress fashionably while wearing as many items from the store as possible. I’m coming out of the back room with one of my male coworkers. We’ve just clocked in.)

Coworker: “You have such a cute style!”

Me: “Thanks! I love your shirt!”

(A customer seemingly comes out of nowhere. He looks high.)

Customer: “You shouldn’t say that.”

Us: “…”

Customer: “You should never call a woman cute. She’s beautiful.”

Coworker: “I wasn’t calling her cute.”

Customer: “Good. Because she’s beautiful.”

Us: “…”

Customer: “Beautiful.”

(He continues to smile at me as I put away clothes on their proper racks. With a last, “Beautiful…” he floats over to another part of the store.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that? I’m gay and you have a girlfriend.”

Me: *jokingly looking into one of our wall mirrors* “Beautiful…”

Wassup My Nina

, , , , , , | Right | January 15, 2019

(It’s 2001. I’m a Hispanic woman in her twenties. Because I have naturally blond hair, people often mistake me for a tanned white lady. I get a phone call from a customer wanting to know if we have a certain item in stock. I put her on hold and call my coworker, Nina, since she knows more about the inventory than I do. She’s a bit hard of hearing, so I have to raise the volume of my voice a little.)

Me: “Hey, Nina!”

Nina: *meekly* “Yeah?”

Me: “Do we have any [popular item] left?”

Nina: “Let me check.”

(She checks the back. While I’m waiting, two African American twin ladies who appear to be in their late teens approach.)

Me: “How can I help you, ladies?”

Teen #1: “Cut the BS, you b****! How dare you say that word?!”

Me: *confused but keeping it together* “What word? If I accidentally said something that offended you, I apologize.”

Teen #2: “Cut the s***, already! You can’t say that thing accidentally!”

Me: I have to warn you that your continued use of profanity will force security to escort you out.”

Teen #1: “You can’t force us to do anything, you d*** racist!”

Teen #2: “We demand a discount and your a** fired!”

(One of my managers overhears and intervenes.)

Manager: “I’m sure we can solve this in a civilized manner.”

(The two customers keep saying that I used racial slurs and raised my voice. I try telling my side of the story but they keep interrupting me and calling me a white b****.)

Manager: “I really doubt [My Name] would do such a thing, and she’s actually—“

Teen #1: “An entitled, white b****!”

(I’m surprised I haven’t lunged at them by now, since I’m known to have a temper. While they are still shouting, I see an elderly African American man walking toward us with a nice suit. He doesn’t seem very happy.)

Man: “What in the name of the merciful Lord is going on here?!”

Teen #2: “This gold-digging tramp used the N-word out loud!”

Man: *to me* “Is that so, young lady?”

Me: No! I was just calling for my coworker who is hard of hearing and is named Nina!

(At this point Nina exits the back room. She is clearly Korean.)

Manager: “That’s her.”

Man: “I see.” *to the teens* “I didn’t spend my youth during the Civil Rights movement so you could act like a pair of entitled brats! Now, apologize to this nice lady and kiss your birthday money goodbye. You clearly don’t deserve it. If it were up to me I would send you job options. Good Heavens, your parents spoiled you rotten!”

Me: “By the way girls, I’m Hispanic. My advice to you is to stay in school and clean your ears.”

(The girls apologized. The grandfather laughed and dragged the girls out by their ears, after he bought a nice suit for church. After Nina told me we had the item, I resumed the call from earlier.)

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